The Sanction Scenario

This is a scenario I've thrust upon my home campaign group. Is it a reactive module - something to introduce to the campaign when the right people have been sufficiently pissed off. In this case, they managed to piss off a major House, and aggrieved House's chosen recourse is to drag them to the Crooked Court.

I figure I'd share it here as a potential case study for player agency - it's an open scenario with factional play and about a thousand ways things could go, and opportunities for shenanigans abound. This will also serve as a reference for my players, if they're clever enough to read this blog.

~~~~~

The first vote is old. She cares for tradition and protocol.
The second vote is young. She cares for money and power.
The third vote is decadent. She cares for pleasure and vice.
The fourth vote is mad, and he serves a mad god.
The last vote is fate. It is left to the gods and to luck, to do as they may.

A simply majority decides your fate. There are no abstentions. No loopholes. This is a political trial. It is a religious trial. There are no tricks in religion. There are no tricks in religion. Refrain, and do what you must.

~~~~~

Given straight, this is a political trial with four judges and five votes. Three judges are matriarchs of the three most powerful Houses. One judge is a servant of the mad god. The last vote is completely up to chance, to be adjudicated by a die roll from the DM. There are ways to influence any and all of these judges. Everything and anything is fair.

A summary diagram.

The Judges

Laetha, of the House of Parchment and Marble

Statecraft has been the domain of her House for millennia. A political trial is precisely her element.
A disciplined matriarch, in body and mind. Her every word has purpose.

What She Wants: 
For tradition to be respected.
For the trial to be "fair" (i.e. a true political trial, a vote of popularity).
For Miz'ra to be crushed and her House subjugated as Ghilaera's was.
More slaves.
For her House to be seen as equal to the past great Houses of old.

What She Has:
A vast slave population.
Direct ties to legendary historical figures.
The most experience of any current politician.
The largest Senate voting bloc.
Statecraft Clerics
An elaborate web of connections spanning nearly every House
A robust trade network

Laetha doesn't have time for your shit.
(From Disney's Cinderella)

How She Views The Other Judges:

• Miz'ra - An upstart and a cutthroat. Her most dangerous rival. If she is quick to the defense of the accused, then it means she cut a deal, and must be opposed.
• Ghilaera - A dangerous fool. Her faction holds the swing vote in the Senate. She cannot afford to make her cross. She also cannot afford to cede leadership.
• Amom - Worthy of a grudging respect, provided he remains independent. If it seems like he's taking sides, then he gets no mercy.
• Fate - She will want it to be determined in the old way. Blood ritual.

Tactics
Divide and conquer. Erode the base of support for the opposition then kick them over when the foundation is weak.

If Pressured: 
1. False flag operations.
2. Spread rumors.
3. Swamp opposition in legal challenges.
4. Bribes of slaves and lucrative political offices.

Miz'ra, of the House of Bone and Silver

The new money, the new power. She has everything to prove and everything to lose.
A multi-widow fat from her conquests.

What She Wants: 
To use this trial to get ahead.
To show up Laetha and usurp her position of authority.
To acquire more wealth.
To acquire more bodies for necromancy.
To acquire more land.
To acquire influential allies through marriage.

What She Has:
The most land suitable for agriculture.
A large, loyal family
An undead army
Necromancers
Influence among the Wizards.
Money. Lots of it.

She sneezes more than your net worth.
(From Disney's The Little Mermaid)

How She Views The Other Judges:

• Laetha - An old bag that would do better to get out of the way. Will fight her on every issue that doesn't directly benefit herself.
• Ghilaera - A feeble weakling, undeserving of her station. An ideal tool, if the right levers can be pulled. Miz'ra wants to find her price and her weakest point. Is it bribery? Threat? Spite?
• Amom - Outdated, irrelevant, idiotic. She despises the mad god and his servants. She would have him killed in an instant, if she thought the price of his martyrdom wasn't too high.
• Fate - She wants a coin flip. If it's the deciding vote, she'll have a puppet-minion try to influence the outcome. To maintain deniability, she'll give this task then wipe her memory of it.Whether it's discovered or not, she'll kill this puppet-minion and ensure that they can never testify.

Tactics
Identify then strike at the weakest links in the chain and work up from there. Maintain deniability.

If Pressured: 
1. Bribes of money - coinage laced with surveillance bugs.
2. Kidnapping + Modify Memory
3. Offer political marriage
4. Brutal but deniable assassination on important minions

Ghilaera, of the House of Poppies and Whips

The swing vote in nearly all things. It has made her an exemplar of opportunism.
She's definitely on drugs. It makes her notice things others don't.

What She Wants: 
To pit Laetha and Miz'ra against each other. To watch them do battle.
To be an equal to Laetha and Miz'ra.
To be entertained.
To experience new highs and insights.
Amom.

What She Has:
The swing voting bloc in the Senate
A menagerie of exotic mounts and monsters
Criminal network

Ghilaera lives on the edge of a blade.
(From Disney's 101 Dalamations)

How She Views The Other Judges:

• Laetha - A horrid wet blanket and a crone. A more reliable ally, though, than Miz'ra.
• Miz'ra - A potential powerful ally, but far too accepting of change to the status quo for comfort. She knows Miz'ra will stab her in the back the minute she doesn't need her.
• Amom - The most fun, second to Fate. She wants him, lustfully. She thinks it will grant her special powers and favors from the Mad God. She knows how dangerous this is but wants it anyways.
• Fate - She wants champions to have bloody fight to the death.

Tactics
Go to either Laetha or Miz'ra for support. Use either of them as a shield against the other.

If Pressured: 
1. Offer Miz'ra or Laetha her voting bloc in exchange for support and protection.
2. Arson
3. Enlist monster. Preferably one that eats brains.
4. Make promises to all sides, uphold none of them.

Amom, Rememberer for the Mad God

He has a subtle madness in the way of his god - the kind that slowly dawns into wretched light.
A mask for the mad god, and a mask for himself. Take care which he wears, and give proper address.

What He Wants: 
For the Mad God to be satisfied.
For his religious authority to be respected, or those who forsake it to be punished.
A slow descent into madness. So slow that nobody notices, and everybody simply takes it for granted.

What He Has:
Servants of the Mad God. They are legally allowed powers of inquisition.
Religious immunities. Cannot be charged with assaults or murders.

What kingdoms the Mad God forgets, Amom remembers.
leidensygdom

How He Views The Other Judges:

• Laetha - Her influence contributed to his rise in power. But the Mad God does not play favorites. Laetha cannot undo this decision. He needs to prove to the others that he's not biased.
• Miz'ra - She does not pay the proper respects. Her House stands on a knife's edge with the Mad God. He is looking for an excuse to punish her.
• Ghilaera - Absolutely certain she wants to have him murdered. Will never willingly speak or meet with her, or anybody in her service, outside of safe public spaces.
• Fate - He wants the most esoteric and evenly random option.

Tactics
Tactics suggest rationality. The Mad God is not rational.
(Recommend: Alternating between the highest conniving politics, and a dog chasing a car.)

If Pressured: 
1. Put on the mask of the Mad God, and let madness reign. For this:

• Laetha will get dangerously paranoid.
• Miz'ra will become more gluttonous and bold in her actions.
• Ghilaera will excessively use drugs, devastatingly so. Will certainly try to murder someone.
• For all else, whatever slight madness they have is amplified.

2. Choose a method of Fate that is least likely to work in opponent's favor.
3. Threaten everyone. Everyone.
4. Cave in to all influences at once, even if they conflict with themselves.

Fate

It has no bias. It has no wants. It's method is determined by the other four, with Amom having final say. It is a single instance. There are no repeats, no do-overs.

If anybody is discovered to have interfered with Fate (for instance, by rigging the coin flip, or creating an illusion), then all four of the Judges are obligated to slay the perpetrator on the spot, and they will almost certainly do so. They are all powerful sorcerers, and crushing a single opponent would be trivial with their combined might. For this reason, none of the Judges will interfere with Fate. An interloper's pitiful life isn't worth the wrath of the gods, nor the sanctity of this trial.

Important: even if the scenario occurs that Fate's vote doesn't matter, it will still be performed to ascertain whether the verdict sits good with the gods, and whether the judges should be worried with their choices or not.

Here are d12 potential methods, but by all means make it weirder.

d12	Method	Determined By...	Chance of Guilty Verdict (%)
1	Coin Flip	Guilty/Innocent Sides	50
2	Decapitation, chicken.	Witness where it lands. Inside the Seal of the Senate, or no? Inside = Innocent.	60
3	Decapitation, criminal.	What does the criminal whisper? Guilty or Innocent?	65
4	D20 Die Roll	Evens = Innocent Odds = Guilty	50
5	Cockatrice Liver	Stone infiltration. Yes = Guilty	35
6	Basilisk Spleen	Amount of Blood. Does it fill the Chalice of Judgement? If overflowing, Guilty.	45, +/- 20 varying on size/health of basilisk.
7	Champion Fight, Unfair.	First champion to die loses. No rules, bounds, or time limits.	Special
8	Champion Fight, Strange. Each allowed nothing but one magic weapon which does not obviously cause harm.	Whose champion is victorious. Weapons: 1. Pillow 2. Tea Cup 3. Candle 4. Warm Coal 5. Bloody Eyeball 6. Quill 7. Chalice 8. Braid of Hair 9. Doll 10. Egg Magic: 1. Hidden Edge 2. Cursed 3. Exploding 4. Poisonous 5. Dancing 6. Mimic 7. Magic Jar 8. Hypnotic 9. Possessed 10. Plague-ridden	Special
9	Champion Fight, Insult Contest.	Magnitude of crowd noise. An audience of 1000 jesters, slaves, and thieves serve as judges.	Special
10	Moon Augury	The Image the next visible Moon shows. Blood = Guilty Anything Else = Innocent	55%
11	Draw from the Deck	The Deck of Many Things. Negative result = Guilty. Positive = Innocent. If neither, draw again.	41 on each try
12	Arrow Shower	Accused tied to post at range 1200ft. Three trained archers of the city guard attempt to shoot her three times. Any hit indicates guilt.	30

If Found Innocent...

There are no ill effects, and perhaps most importantly you have achieved a symbolic and real political victory. You are now firmly a part of the "Us" of the city.

If Found Guilty...

Citizenship stripped. Property rights stripped. Face exile, or worse if you stay.

How This All Plays Out

You, the accused, need 3 votes to be found innocent. There are a few ways this is likely to go down.

2 Innocent : 2 Guilty split vote. Fate becomes tiebreaker. This is likely if the party puts most of their effort into getting either Laetha or Miz'ra, and either Ghilaera or Amom. Laetha and Miz'ra will almost definitely vote in opposite directions, and whoever is voting against you will try to get Ghilaera and Amom on their side. In this situation, Amom's support is crucial so that you can get Fate's odds in your favor.

Laetha and Miz'ra teaming up their votes against Ghilaera and Amom would be bizarre, but possible, if both powerful matriarchs think they can win the party to their side.

3 Innocent : 1 Guilty. Automatic victory without Fate. This is most likely to happen with Ghilaera, Amom, and one of the other matriarchs. The best way to go about this, methinks, is making one of the two powerful Matriarchs an enemy of everyone else. The difficulty with this outcome is having a better offer for Ghilaera than Miz'ra or Laetha can put forward.

1 Innocent : 3 Guilty. Automatic loss without Fate. What happens when you fail to court Ghilaera and Amom. You cannot win on the support of one powerful Matriarch alone.

0 Innocent : 4 Guilty. Fate doesn't matter. So, you've managed to piss off everyone? Good job! Enjoy your exile.

4 Innocent : 0 Guilty. Fate doesn't matter. Super unlikely. Potentially unwise. Can't please everyone in the long run.

More University Cults

I've updated the last University Cults post in order to retroactively format in the RUMORS section, which I've found more useful for describing cults and maximizing their potential.

It Is Called: The Custodians
Type: Staff Cult
Threat Priority: Medium

The Janitors. Nobody dares question how they work, not even the university administrators, but the halls remain clean and the trash empties, regardless of the lack of oversight. Do not look into their closets, for within are shrines to the Clean God, and it does not abide those who do not serve.

Those who gaze into the maintenance closets or accost and belittle the Custodians invariably first go mad, then go insane, then go missing. Where do they go? None would dare investigate, lest they too gain the dire attention of the Clean God.

Don't go in the maintenance closet.
By cinemamind

Only protocol will save you during interactions. If they ask you to do something, do it. Do not question the Custodians.  Do not impede their work. Do not follow them into dark hallways. Do not follow them in general. Do not make eye contact or converse with them, unless they made eye contact or converse first, in which case you ABSOLUTELY MUST CONVERSE! Just don't ask or question what they're doing.

And above all, do not go in a Maintenance Closet. Don't even look in it. Just get out of their way and let them do their work, and the halls and rooms shall be clean of filth. Rumors of the shrines within the closets are abound. Students claim to have snatched glimpses of the sculptures within.



WHAT'S IN THE MAINTENANCE CLOSET?
An effigy: a blood-dripping ram's skull mounted upon a rib cage of brooms, intestines of mop heads falling out, eviscerated.
A shrine: knickknacks and discarded food, forming a collage of a smiling, cruel face. Black candles.
An abomination: an amalgamation of lint, fused to the far wall. It's maw opens wide. It beckons in with dust-choked gasps.
A body: squirming and suffocating within a trash bag, like a caterpillar in cocoon. Depressions where the mouth draws in breath. It tries to scream.
A pool: acidic rank, smells of lemon a thousand fold. Gloved, coiled hands reach from below the surface.
A vacuum: dark nothing. A horrible void. It draws you in, slow first then impossible to escape. The door slams shut. The cacophony is unbearable.
An abyss: a vertical portal, swirling ever deeper, stretching you out like a black hole.

RUMORS
1. The Custodians murder and dismantle the mad in the dead of night, cleaning up the mess perfectly and with total coordination long before the morning dawn.
2. They throw dis-satisfactory faculty, staff, and students alike into the maintenance closets when nobody else is looking, for the Clean God to consume as sacrifice.
3. They drown accosters in cleaning acid, simultaneously killing and dissolving the body, before pouring the remains down drains that none but they know lead where.
4. The Clean God is a misnomer. In reality, it is the God of Filth, for nothing can be cleaned without something else getting more dirty. The Custodians are agents of entropy - inescapable, the entire universe funneling towards its own dirty-heat-death. They are here to help it along.


It Is Called: The Committee
Type: Faculty Cult
Threat Priority: Low

My palms were sweaty. I'd been standing here, blinded by the auditorium lights for three hours. 'Better absurdly early than late', I'd thought. I didn't think how the idleness would affect my hands. Surely they'd notice. Surely they'd take note. I was a walking dead man, and all because I insisted on being early! Dead man. Dead man. Dead man!

I heard a click at the door. It caused me to jump, then fumble frantically with my papers as I nervously tried to avoid eye contact with the five hooded figures ritualistically seating themselves across an elevated bench. Where they sat it was dark. I couldn't even be sure they were there, 'til I saw a glimmer of brass emerge from the darkness. A womanly hand reached out of the dark.

She pushed forward a cup from her hand. It smelled noxious, of acute notes of mustard. My stomach wretched at the scent and sight.

"Drink from the cup." Said the woman.
"What? I-"
"Drink. And we will deliberate."

My heart dropped into my gut. Was this what the other students meant? Nobody had ever described a goblet before. Was this a test? Was this the test? Was all my hard work in preliminaries for nothing? Were they trying to sense my hesitation? Was I-

"Drink!"

Without second thought, I lunged for the cup, and drank. It tasted smooth, like lavender. I remember being pleasantly surprised, and the horrified. There came a noxious aftertaste - a burning gas that fumed from my nose and mouth, like my head was a smoke grenade or a chemical show. I coughed and sputtered, before downing the rest of the horrid draught.

There was a moment of silence. A moment before I wretched. I could feel something caught in the back of my throat - a slimy certain something. It clung to my esophagus like a wretched baby; then, loosed by the spasm of my lungs and onto the floor. My eyes watering, I barely made out its green and black-spotted form. I blinked, and it became clear: a slug, or so I thought, colored of phlegm with eyes an iridescent black. A globule of spit dripped from my mouth to the floor, right in front of my superiors. What did it mean?

"You have passed your Preliminaries. We look forward to your research proposal in two months."

The Committee stood up, exiting the room one by one, leaving me alone on the floor, with a slug born from my lungs. It looked at me as if I had betrayed it. Had I? I don't know.

~~~~~

The fear and bane of all graduate students. The Committee is an cult of anonymous mask-wearing faculty that oversee and approve of graduate students' projects and dissertations, thereby welcoming them into the university as faculty. They should never be taken lightly.

A legit method at Committee gatherings.
Source

RUMORS
1. If you kill a member of a Committee, at The Committee, you then take their place.
2. The secret methods employed by a Committee are unique and tailored to meet the weaknesses of each particular student. The odds are stacked against you. To overcome is the test.
3. The Committee picks projects not based on merit, but by those who would make the greatest human sacrifice upon reaching faculty level. What Dark Power wants professor's souls?
4. There are, in fact, no faculty behind the masks. There is nobody behind the masks. They are not people, and neither are you, if you succeed.

It Is Called: The Waking Eye
Type: Student Group
Threat Priority: Medium

It takes a cult to expose a cult. To that end was made The Waking Eye, the one and only truly legitimate student newspaper. All others are puppets, so sayeth The Eye. It reports on other cults.

There is ritual in the process of the free press. Many powerful forces constantly seek to intervene with the powers of journalism, that they may sway true word and proper discourse to their own selfish esoteric ends. The only defense against such occult forces is a cult devoted to combat them.

Identities are anonymous and ring-based, one member knowing no more than one other member. Intent must be proven by conditional-suicide blood pact. Any published word must pass the Waking Eye, lest lies propagate through the paper. The Eye knows the truth. The Eye knows lies.

Source

Issues of the Waking Eye are never printed on the same medium twice. They remain hidden as illusory script, visible only to those who know the secret ritual to bring the words forth. Issues have been printed in library books, on homework assignments, scrawled on students' backs, or graffiti'd on walls. There are many old issues lying around, as yet to be discovered, hiding and detailing particular cult activity. Once read they disappear forever, to shield its words from authorities.

This has led to a phenomenon known as The Hunt for the Waking Word, which comprises several distinct phases:

1. A rumor begins that a new issue of The Waking Eye has been released.
2. Speculation goes 'round about the medium.
3. Students begin inevitably experimenting on different things to find the new issues.
4. Soon after, cultists from the university begin their search.
5. The medium is discovered, and issues of The Waking Eye begin to quickly disappear.
6. Those students caught viewing The Waking Eye are severely punished by the university. "Academic Probation"

There is an active bounty on all members of The Waking Eye. 100 spellgold a piece - not a light sum.

RUMORS
1. Every printed paper bears the Seal of The Waking Eye upon its surface, and so serves as a vessel for The Eye to see into our world.
2.  Falsehoods may not be printed upon a surface bearing the Seal, or so it is said. There are reasons to doubt, but then again, there are reasons to doubt anything in Wizard City.
3. Every member of The Waking Eye is actually dead, and has been for decades. What actually remains is merely a kind of Stand Alone Complex perpetuated by the student body.
4. There are many old issues of The Waking Eye hidden around campus, waiting to be stumbled upon by particularly investigative students. The older and better hidden the issue, the more revelatory its information. If you find one, Campus Security will come looking for you.

It Is Called: Keepers of the True Time
Type: Faculty Group
Threat Priority: Medium

They have kept the true time of the universe for a thousand years, and they intend to keep it until the end. A cooperation between the Bureau of Spatial and Temporal Matters and the University, devoted entirely to accurate and esoteric timekeeping.

Their timekeeping is accurate for the age of the universe plus-or-minus 3 seconds. This inaccuracy is blamed on the one they call Dave - he who screwed up the clocks and either gained or lost up to 3 seconds about seven hundred years ago. All attempts to go back in time and fix this have all been for naught, so fucked up was Dave's fucking up. As such, Dave's name is to be used in all curses. Ex: "Oh, look, Steward Dave-d up again, surprise surprise!", "You've really Dave-d it this time.", "You're such a Dave..."

The Keepers wear robes covered in little metal plates, and many many methods of timekeeping: watches, entire grandfather clocks, water clocks carried by four, trains of pregnant women.

RUMORS
1. The Keepers have a clock which is counting down by the second to the next Apocalypse. They refuse to show it to any but the highest of authorities.
2. The Keepers have a clock showing the lifespan of the Universe, divided into 7 hours. We are almost at hour 3.
3. Someone or something from the future keeps sending people back into the present to set back the Keepers' clocks. For some reason, this amount of time is always exactly 4.13 minutes.

4. The Keepers employ owls. Why do they employ owls? What do the owls do?

Harry Clarke Project - The Cuckquean Fence

The Cuckquean Fence

A most terrible curse wrought by woman scorned - a court sword which murders the objects of adultery. With every victim it grows, to match in size the magnitude of its malice. It will bring no harm to the husband-lover, but it will skewer and impale those he desires, through that which he touched in lust.

It's victims remain, skewered on the blade, neither alive nor dead. They cannot perish or rest so long as they remain. As the blade moves quicker their screams of pain reach fever pitch.

It rests quietly during the day, wrapped in bed sheets from the wedding night. It will come out at night when called, if the husband has recently had an affair. It moves silently, floating acutely to the ground, lest it has victims who moan in low pained tenor. It comes in the night, harpooning through open windows or cracked-open doors, to skewer drowsy or sleeping maids.

To Summon It, One Requires:
- A Court Sword, pricked with ones own blood
- A Wedding Ring, to be slid from the tip to the hilt.
- A Personal Gift, given from the husband, tied just above the pommel.
- The Bed Sheets from the night of their wedding.
- A Hateful Incantation

Armor Class: As Plate
Hit Dice: 1 per Victim
Move: As Human
Attacks: Pierce
Damage: 1d8
Morale: 12
Treasure: 1d6gp (exploding) per # of Victims, in jewelry and personal belongings.
Alignment: Neutral





- Immune to all damage from piercing weapons.
- Advantage when attacking intended targets.
- Construct Immunities.
- Only women may harm it. With exception to brothers of the wife, who deal half damage to it. Bridesmaids from the wedding deal double damage.
- An invisible spirit guides the blade. It cannot be harmed by normal weapons. It has the same stats as the blade itself, with AC as unarmored, no damage, and no treasure. If it is killed, then the women who summoned it can never do so again. If the blade is destroyed, it will disappear, but can be brought back once more if the ritual is repeated.

~~~~~

This submission is kept in https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
You may find the details of the community project over at Cavegirl's place.

University Cults

((I've updated this post to reflect the new rumor format I'm using in the following post.))

I'm using these for any Wizard City shenanigans, but I'm sure y'all can find a use for 'em elsewhere! I'm lookin' at you, Esoteric Enterprises.

It Is Called: The Generous Hand
Type: Charitable Organization
Threat Priority: Low

A "cult", so sayeth the city leadership, with the apparently radical idea that we shouldn't be total and absolute jerks to each other. They do know what city they're in, don't they? This is WIZARD City, not DECENT PERSON City! Geeze.

Anyways, it's a futile effort, but they're gaining the slightest amounts of traction, undertaking such programs such as distributing non-experimental food, providing non-haunted shelter to the homeless, offering non-organ-harvesting medical service, even for brains in jars, THE NERVE!

RUMORS
1. Why do they provide these services for free? Well, obviously, it must be because they're hiding something. It can't possibly be some commitment for the greater good.
2. Its leaders are firmly under the thumb of oligarchs. They use the organization to politically manipulate the vulnerable.
3. It's all one little piece of the inevitable brain-in-jar uprising. How? Not sure yet.

It Is Called: Church of the Spoon
Type: Religious Group
Threat Priority: Low

"All Hail The Spoon!"
Thus sayest the Spoon Pope.

They hand out fliers in the city squares. They make monuments to the Spoon. They say that "everything is spoon" given the right spoon-lense. They say that the universe is shaped like a spoon, and that everything, down to the last atom, is constituted of spoons. They worship the spoon. They wear spoons from their ears, and eat nothing but spoon-shaped things with spoons. They spoon when they sleep. They make spoons obsessively, and spread their wonder wherever they go. They have single-handed collapsed the spoon market, making them cheaper than dirt, literally.

RUMORS
1. They regard The Gigamancer, capable of summoning one billion spoons (among other things) in a single instant, as some sort of demiurge or avatar of the All-Spoon - their proverbial god, which is more or less The Universe in entirety.
2. The entire endeavor was actually a student prank that got way out of hand. It's original founders, long since excommunicated, have gone on record saying that the whole thing was 'a joke', but nobody cares.
3. There is a hidden hierarchy to the church, with Spoon Priests and Spoon Bishops, going all the way up to the Spoon Pope, who sits upon a throne of spoons.

It Is Called: The High Modernist Society
Type: Professional Order
Threat Priority: "None"

A secret cabal of architects, politicians, and city planners devoted to the formation of the 'perfect' city. It is both the least threatening-seeming of the cults, and the most dangerous. Its founders and members have massive influence in city planning: everything from spontaneous evictions to rent control to zoning laws to eminent domain.

They want to create the 'perfect' city, but what exactly that entails is kept totally secret to all but its highest members. The following conspiracy theories have been developed about their goals. If even one of them are true then The High Modernist Society deserves at least a High threat rating.

RUMORS
1. They have ties to the Providence Men. They even say that the Pyramid Heads pull the strings on their organization from the future, and that every project they influence is tilted towards constructing the monument of their power.
2. Their city planning is all in service of creating a massive magic circle. Everything from zoning to street layouts to ghetto formation to population control is all a part of an elaborate ritual - but what the end goal is nobody is sure.
3. They spur on riots to justify police force so that in the resulting crackdowns they can drive a profit through demolition and real estate development.

I read this recently, can't you tell

4. The slums and ghettos were created and planned by the High Modernist Society for the purpose of harvesting bodies for necromantic experiments. Nobody cares if someone goes missing in the slums, so it's the ideal harvesting grounds

5. It's highest members are actually magitech Artificial Intelligences, manipulating the city's people as pawns towards their goals of technological-magical Singularity. The tendrils of AI power seep throughout the bones of the city, and the zoning laws create a function of specialization to constitute citywide magitech computer parts.

6. The entire society is actually a plot of the Unter-Ooze to completely and universally take over the city via simultaneous plumbing infiltration (sewage, fresh water, bathing). High ranking members are just puppets of the Ooze, and will structurally fall apart under scrutiny. Hence the emphasis of sewer development from the Society.

It Is Called: Omicron Delta Theta (Sorority of the Cell)
Type: Student Group
Threat Priority: Medium

The notorious Biomancer sisterhood, whose name Omicron Delta Theta (ΟΔΘ) pictographically represents the splitting of the cell. Or maybe it's an owl. They like owls. This sorority has often been salaciously accused of incubating and birthing their own mad experiments. This is False (95% of the time). And those who slander the sorority often find themselves spontaneously developing simultaneous throat, eye, and brain cancer. Try being a wizard without those, scum!

The sorority house is located deep within the student ghetto, which gives them plenty of cover to hide their various illegal biomancy activities. The projects of the sisters range from:
"I've crossed a chinchilla and a puppy! LOOK HOW CUTE IT IS!",
to "I've developed a plague that causes people who ask too many questions at seminar to rapidly grow their bottom teeth up through their brain",
to "What if Cronenburg... But MORE?".

At first glance, you think the man on the platform is in control. He is not. Oh, he is not.
Source

Like all rowdy fraternities and sororities, their parties are great. Just watch your drinks, lest you wake up with no teeth, an extra butt, and a unicorn head. If ever they are to team up with the Black Magic Fraternity, both of their respective Threat Priorities will automatically jump to High.

RUMORS
1. The Sorority has developed a highly contagious plague that will kill off anybody over the age of 30 with 99.99% lethality. The reason they're still around is because they're holding the entire city hostage.
2. Nobody becomes a doctor or a nurse in the city without some amiable connection to the Sorority. Those who cross the sisterhood often reach 'unfortunate ends'.
3. Those who survive the hazing rituals of the Sorority become immortal, it's just that the nature of the work they end up doing long after has a high mortality rate.
4. There is a beast that uses the sewers as its hunting ground. It is said to be half-man, half-crocodile, and that is was an aborted 'project' from the Sorority.
5. The Snakemen are actually a product of the Sorority's experimentation. It certainly fits their profile.

It Is Called: The Hypermath Cult
Type: Faculty Society
Threat Priority: Low

The Cult, whose upper echelons are based out of the Infinity Hotel, is nearly entirely devoted to the discovery of new means of math. They have a pseudo-public hierarchical structure, encompassing several semi-public levels of participation, and several more secret ones. The Cult itself is divided into several independent subsections, each devoted to some form of mathematics. These can be recognized by special secret gestures and acknowledgements, most of them completely harmless. Cult membership is denoted by Level, levels 1-5 being public, and levels 6-10 being secret.

Source

The Logarithmancers are devoted to the study of logarithms, and how they might be used to access greater numbers. This sect, above the others, coalesces more power and practicality in its ranking members. Logarithmancers are known to have developed special LOG magic, allowing select members to blunt un-survivable attacks and conditions, such as falling from 100,000ft or withstanding a direct nuclear blast.

The Numerologismists [sic] are devoted to the study of the study of numerology. So, they don't study numerology per se, but rather study the creatures that study numerology - principally goblins, hobgoblins, and trolls - and mathematics systems derived therein. Being that they are often confused (and intentionally mislabeled) as numerologists, they've developed an acute sense of defensiveness surrounding their studies. Numerology is the lowest of sciences, after all, but studying those who study it is anthropology!

The Irrationalists are devoted to the study of irrational numbers. Being there an infinite number of irrational numbers, their work is cut out for them. They are an obsessive and devoted lot, composing a litany of human calculators, mad mathematicians, and artists. Their pursuit of irrationality often leads them down erratic and compulsive paths such as the development of misanthropic supersets, new math systems, and feats of eternal cruelty.

The Imaginarians are devoted to the study of imaginary numbers, complex numbers, and their various applications. There is a lot of drug use in this sect. Without the special drugs, they claim, one's brain cannot access the true Imaginary realm. As such, they tend to be a strange and ethereal group of scholars, far less obsessed with diligence and protocol as the other groups.


RUMORS
1. The Level 10 Logarithmancer, and a few of his Level 9 disciples, can survive a nuclear blast point-blank, such are the powers of his logarithmic magic.
2. The Numerologismists have secretly claimed they've discovered the Number Which Controls the Universe, but they're unwilling to share it, the pigs.
3. The Irrationalists have a secret bunker containing a legion of mad savants, furiously working night and day to produce the highest number capable of being expressed by humanity.
4. The Imaginarians are said to have a drug which shows you the True World. That would mean, of course, that this world is False.

It Is Called: Order of the Nine Eyes (The Black Magic Fraternity)
Type: Student Group
Threat Priority: Medium

The most notorious and infamous student group on campus. Nobody with good sense even walks down the same street as their frat house, even the poor mailman. The house itself - a monument and zoo to every dark magic that ever existed - is a cesspit of debauched insanity. At any given time, it is haunted by no less than three demons/ghosts/monstrosities/aberrations. It is filthy and trapped with all manner of cursed objects with apocalyptic implements on hair triggers - think the basement scene in Cabin in the Woods.

Like this, but a whole three-story house.
Source

Like: Oh, you want to look in the bathroom mirror? Well, you just summoned an ultra-evil doppelganger of yourself that's going to kill everyone you know and love before gouging out its throat in front of your dissertation committee.

RUMORS
1. Despite the perpetual existential dread, the fraternity is surprisingly supportive to its members. Brothers frequently share resources and advice for summoning spirits and demons, rationalizing that the better they are at helping each other, the more horrible-ness they can bring into the world.
2. Their parties are bitchin', too, if you're okay with a moderate-to-severe amount of misanthropy and human sacrifice.
3.  If they ever team up with Omicron Delta Theta, then there will be absolutely no hope for the city to avoid an existential catastrophe.


It Is Called: Eat The Rich
Type: Memetic
Threat Priority: "High"

Source, also more good examples.

Eat The Rich is a memetic cult devoted to its namesake - cannibalizing rich people. It's followers include a litany of shadowy graffiti artist-magicians who decisively plant psycho-somatic-memetic text so that those reading it will immediately attempt to eat the next wealthy person they come into contact with. Servant class folk are frequently targeted for this text, along with close family members of intended targets.

In disproportionate response, several secret and non-secret police units have been devoted to its eradication.

RUMORS
1. Because this cult primarily targets affluent communities, it has been labelled the number one threat in Wizard City, despite only a few occurrences of wealthy-person cannibalism each year (several of which this cult's influence was highly debatable).
2. Some people have theorized that Eat The Rich is actually a puppet by the High Modernist Society to scapegoat any of their misdealings, but those people are dead.
3. Eat The Rich is, in fact, an organism which cares neither about eating nor the rich. The psycho-somatic components of its 'plague' are merely byproducts of its naturally-selected reproductive cycle.

It Is Called: "That One Thing We Can't Talk About"
Type: Mimetic
Threat Priority: Low

Several decades ago a plague swept through the city. At first, people reported seeing strange shadows dancing in the distance down long streets, recalling the appearance of a black cloth caught in a hot air updraft. Then, people reported seeing a black-robed man standing in the distance, staring at them. After that the reports stopped, and the migrations started.

"That One Thing We Can't Talk About" is a mimetic virus of an increasingly closer-standing black-robed man. Early stages of the disease include extreme paranoia and the compulsive desire to talk about the black-robed man, thereby spreading the disease. Late stages include suggestion and brainwashing, culminating in complete loss of free will as the victim begins to mindlessly march due east directly into the desert - to what destination nobody has found out, for subjects die of dehydration long before stopping.

The only way to cure the disease and to halt its spread is to never talk about it, hence all government denial that such hypothetical diseases exist. Despite this, there is a small segment of the population encompassing various amnesiac conspiracy theorists that keep the disease alive, even worshiping the black-robed man as some sort of messiah.

From Lawrence of Arabia

RUMORS
1. The Black-robed man is trying to tell us something. Hosts have sometimes declared they saw the man trying to speak, but producing no words.
2. The State actually perpetuates the plague as a means of eugenics and population control. After all, the lower classes are disproportionally affected by it.
3. Only those who have unjustly escaped prosecution from the law ever see the Black-Robed man, hence why it never affects the righteous wealthy.

It Is Called: "The Other Thing We Can't Talk About"
Type: ???
Threat Priority: ???

The Providence Men. Talking about them has a tendency of getting one mysteriously disintegrated. The Men come from the future where their rule in absolute, and they return to the past to ensure their future. Nobody has any idea what the rationale for the assassinations is, and the Men of Pyramid Heads aren't keen to divulge.

Despite this, there is a small cult devoted to their future rule. They are the only people who seem able to discuss the Pyramid Head Men without getting disintegrated, but only so long as their revelations aren't brought into the proper light. They can be identified by their special signet rings depicting the Providence Eye.

RUMORS
1. ???
2. ???
3. ???

Wizard City GLOG Classes

At last, it has all come to this. I feel like I can now adapt the class and spellcasting system in the GLOG to Wizard City.

There are really only two templates you need to superimpose on whatever system you desire to make it work for Wizard City:

1) Gold = Spell Scrolls
2) Critical Save or Fumble Hit on Spell = Counterspell

That's it. That's all you need. Everything else is superficial. If you want to keep things simple, then you can substitute any Fighter class for Police, any Golem class for Mo-RONs, any Assassin class for Spellsharks, et cetera.

BUT! Doing so may lose some things in translation, hence I'm gonna make some GLOG classes for the Wizard City, since they're super-duper easy to make anyways.

Everything, that is, except the Wizard class. That's already covered by the GLOG itself and half a billion other fun blog posts. You wanna be a Chin Wizard? You go and be the best damn Chin Wizard you can be!

Anti-Magic Weapons and Tactics Officer 

(AMWAT)

You are a corrupt officer of the law, specializing in taking down wizards. While you have very little magical abilities of your own, your counterspell potential is very high, and police batons are kind of "magic" in their own special way, aren't they?

Every Template: Increase your Counterspell range by 1 (ex: with 3 templates, you'll Counterspell on a Save of 17-20, or an enemy attack of 1-4.)

Starting Equipment: Cudgel, Lighter, Chainmail
Random Starting Skill [d3]: 1 = Lawyer, 2 = Jailor,  3 = Strikebreaker

"Boo hoo hoo, what happened to your pew pew pew?"

A Brute Force, +1 Attack Stat
B +1 Attack/Round, More Brute Force
C Nerd Punch, Team Tracking
D Area Denial

Brute Force
You get +2 to Combat Maneuver Rolls.

More Brute Force
You get an additional +2 to Combat Maneuver Rolls.

Nerd Punch
Hitting a spellcaster causes 1d4 INT damage per hit, cumulatively. This damage goes away after 1 hour or Having Lunch.

Team Tracking
You may designate one person by touch for 1 minute. You know exactly where this person is for the duration, no matter the distance and whether you can see or hear them.

Area Denial
When you Counterspell an area-of-effect spell, the area changes to be centered on the caster.

Mobility Reconnaissance Operating Nerve 

(Mo-RON)

You are a brain in a jar. It sucks. Everyone in Wizard City treats Mo-RONs with contempt (and nobody bothers with the correct pronunciation; "moron" is the colloquial term). Living is expensive, and you have virtually no opportunities for career advancement.

Once you get a Level in this class, there's no going back. You're stuck as a Brain in a Jar. But, at the very least you can now be a Brain in a Jar in a FREAKIN' ROBOT SQUID, YEAH!

Every Template: Gain an additional Chassis. Buy it, find it, design it, your/DM's choice. Every Chassis is basically a different GLOG animal/monster class without any 'Every Template' bonuses. It takes 8 hours to switch and integrate into a new Chassis. You store them in a safe place when you're not using them.

Chassis Examples:

Really Good Dog - Canine Chassis v1.1
Many Goblins - Remote Kindersuit Supreme
Butcher - KnifeX4 v0.67
Fungal Hive Colony - Unregistered Exosuit
Really Angry Goose - H.O.N.K.
Very Smug Cat - Jerkface Model 1.11857
Secret Unicorn - The Sissysuit
Really Big Spider - Mobile Reconnaissance Unit 2 (MRU2)
Robot Squid - Mobile Nerve Exosuit, Class: Kraken (MNEK)

Starting Equipment: 16oz Nerve Fluid*, 4oz Oil Can, Spider Chassis
Random Starting Skill [d3]: 1 = Janitor, 2 = Intern, 3 = Sage

By David Jernigan

A Brain In A Jar, Chassis 1
B Chassis 2
C Chassis 3
D Chassis 4, Magical Chassis

Brain In A Jar
You are a Brain In A Jar. You cannot take templates in other classes. You also can't heal normally, through rest and lunches. The only way you can heal is through repairing your chassis. Doing so will cost 5HP = 1sg. It also costs 5sg per month for maintenance to merely exist. Failure to get maintenance done will result in -1 maximum HP per week without maintenance. If you drop to 0 HP from this, your jar will break and cease to function, resulting in death.

Additionally, you take double damage from any Lightning or Electrical effects, and any Limbs you lose may be replaced at a cost of 10sg per limb.

Chassis 1
Your abilities depend on what kind of Chassis your brain is currently occupying. It is, in effect, 'your jar'. When you select your Chassis, pick another non-magic GLOG class, and gain the first Template abilities in that class, without the initial per-Template bonus.

Chassis 2
You gain the second Template abilities in your Chassis classes.

Chassis 3
You gain the third Template abilities in your Chassis classes.

Chassis 4
You gain the fourth and final Template ability in your Chassis classes.

Magical Chassis
As your fourth chassis, you may pick a wizard class. If you've chosen a wizard, you do not benefit from any boons or cantrips, but nor do you have any restrictions. You are, in effect, piloting a magical battery.

*Nerve Fluid is what your brain floats in, and serves as a minor healing potion for Mo-RONs but has three times the cost.

Spellshark

You are a loan shark for spells. And since spells are money anyway, I guess that just makes you a normal loan shark.

Every Template: Gain Level x 10 spellgold, from collecting debts. You also get +1 to Stealthy Business.

Starting Equipment: Switchblade, Leather Armor, Secret Coin Pouch
Random Starting Skill [d3]: 1 = Money Launderer, 2 = Forger, 3 = Accountant

You don't need to be an actual shark,
but who am I to tell you what to do?
Source

A Spell Lending, Deep Pockets
B With Interest, +1 Magic Dice
C Spell Steal, Deeper Pockets, +1 Magic Dice
D Assimilate Cantrip,+1 Magic Dice

Spell Lending
You get 1 Magic Die; however, you can't use this on any spells. Instead, you may "loan" it out to another Wizard. They inherit the spell die, and may store and use it as normal. This spell die goes away from the wizard if the wizard uses it to cast a spell or if they normally regenerate their spell dice. This Magic Die regenerates as normal for the Spellshark, even if they've lent it out.

At any time after lending, you may recall this Magic Die, even if it's gone away or been used. You siphon off a Magic Die from the wizard, if they have any left. There is no limit to how many Wizards you can effect in this way. If you gain templates in another wizard class, Spell Lending dies may still not be used for spells.

There is no save for gifting this Magic Die to the wizard, but it does take an action and requires touch.

Deep Pockets
Gain 1 additional inventory slot and 1 additional quick inventory slot.

+1 Magic Dice
You obtain another Spell Die which can be used for Spell Lending.

With Interest
When you get your Magic Die back, you may automatically Counterspell the next spell that this Wizard casts, no matter how far in the future this may be.

Spell Steal
When you recall your Magic Die with Spell Lending, you also temporarily copy a Spell Slot that that Wizard had prepared, allowing you to cast a spell with your Magic Die.

Deeper Pockets
Any clothes that you are currently wearing, provided they have pockets, function as a Bag of Holding, providing an additional 4 inventory slots.

Assimilate Cantrip
When you recall any Magic Die given from Spell Lending, you may also now perform any Cantrips that this Wizard knows for 24 hours. This potentially gives you access to multiple Wizards' Cantrips.

Special Agent of the Bureau of Spatial and Temporal Matters

(T-Man)

Every T-Man comes from the future. If you have templates in another class, your future self arrives to take over, telling you to go study with the Bureau for a couple of years, which you then proceed to do. T-Men work for the very confusing Bureau of Spatial and Temporal Matters, and since nobody really has any idea about what happens at the Bureau, there is in fact very little oversight. T-Men can more or less do whatever they want on the Bureau's time.

Every Template: +2 to Initiative

Starting Equipment: Tailored Suit, Sunglasses, Concealable Dart Gun
Random Starting Skill [d3]: 1 = Mathematician, 2 = Watchmaker, 3 = Future Job

Those with eyebrows need not apply.

A Gadget, Looming Paradox
B Gadget
C Gadget, Close the Loop
D Gadget

Looming Paradox
Becoming a T-Man is a risky business. You always have the possibility of a Paradox Archangle [sic] getting up in your face. If you die, you cause a Paradox, and an Archangle will show up and attempt to clean up the mess you've made by completely scrubbing your entire existence out of reality. You will have never existed, and reality will attempt to conform to your absence, retroactively justifying every event pertaining to your person without you.

Gadget
You gain access to some of the Bureau's special-restricted tech. Choose from one of the options below each time you get this template. All X/Day functions reset at midnight exactly (and yes, this can be exploited.)

Bean Counter Box
Ask the Box a question about how many of a particular thing are located within a designated space that the box is touched against. The Box will answer correctly and literally. (e.g. "How many assholes are located in this abandoned apartment building?" "16!") Usable 2/Day.

Commute Cube
You designate a location by touching the box to it. This location must have either a: desk, hearth, or bar. You then use the box to teleport back to that location instantaneously. Usable once every hour.

((So, I can see already that you'd love to haul a portable office desk around with you everywhere so you can use this on a dime. I approve of this tactic. Better yet, make it a work desk palanquin.))

Rewind Watch
You can rewind yourself one round into the past. Usable 1/Day.

Hyperspace Adjacency Glove
Snapping your fingers allows you to be considered adjacent to the target pointed at for 2 rounds. This allows you to perform such tasks as talking, pickpocketing, or kung-fu kicking from great distances. Usable 2/Day. (WARNING: DO NOT POINT AT SUN OR ANY CELESTIAL BODY)

Pocket Book of Appointments
This special pocket book version of the Book of Appointments located in the Bureau lobby contains the names, dates, and times of all people you have met and will ever meet. It is very long and convoluted, and also difficult to reference (it is not organized linearly). There are three functions:
1) A perfect record of everyone you have ever met and where you met them.
2) The real names, place, and present time of anyone you're meeting right now.
3) The names, times, dates, and places of people you will meet in the future. In order for this to work, you must be actively seeking a meeting with such a person (note: not necessarily a specific person). Finding this out requires passing an INT check. Failure causes 1d4 Wisdom damage. If successful, you will know exactly where to go to find your next appointment, and failure to undertake the meeting results in Paradox.

Rephrazer
It's more or less a tazer that makes people repeat actions. Always considered within the Quick-Draw inventory no matter where it's stored. Range of 30ft. Successful hit results in the target repeating the same action as last round. Usable 5/Day.

Tesseracter
A small strange warping box which can temporarily kick you into the 4th dimension. When using, make an INT check. If successful, you get to choose what effect you have. On failure, you get a random one. Effects lasts for 3 Rounds unless instantaneous (such as teleporting).

1-5. Able to see and phase through all solid materials.
6-10. Gain an intimate knowledge of your immediate surroundings (revealing all secret doors, adjacent rooms, seeing through darkness).
11-15. Teleport up to 200ft, any direction, you can choose and see where you're going.
16-17. Feel sick to stomach.
18. Random safe teleport up to 1000ft.
19. Get stuck in a wall/floor. 25% chance of outright death. 50% chance of losing a limb (roll randomly). 25% chance of being lucky with no structural damage.
20. Teleport randomly to somewhere in the universe. 99% of outright death in space.

Close the Loop
When you die, your Time Loop becomes closed. When this happens your present self arrives back on the scene, free of any ailments you currently have, returned to whatever level and bodily state you were when you first took a template of T-Man.

Your future self, of course, will die having gone to the past to cause this mess here. Dying again as your present self will trigger another Paradox.

GLOG - Really Big Spider and Robot Squid

I needed to make these for the Mo-RON GLOG class. I'm shocked, SHOCKED! Nobody's made Really Big Spider or Robot Squid GLOG classes? What?!

Really Big Spider
Starting Equipment: Desiccated Body, A Few Pounds of Currently Digesting Innards.
Starting Skill [1d3]: 1 = Trap Spider, 2 = Web Spider, 3 = Jumping Spider

For Every Template: +1 HP, +1 to Stealthy Business

Not quite this big, but you get the idea.
(From Futurama)

A Spider, Wall Climbing
B Web Weaving, Web Attack
C Trap Making, Sensitive Hairs
D Venom

Spider
You're a really big spider. You don't have hands. Well... You almost do. You have eight claws. The only math you are familiar with is geometry. You can "talk" to other PCs based on familiarity. You can talk to other spiders. You have a bite that deals 1d6+STR damage.

Wall Climbing
You can climb up walls at will without a check (unless it's super difficult like greased walls), as constantly being under the Spider Climb spell.

Web Weaving
You may take 10 minutes to construct a sticky, near-invisible web, taking up a 10x10ft frame. You can produce this quantity no more than twice times per day.

Web Attack
When you hit an opponent in melee, you gunk up their business, causing a cumulative -1 to all their rolls.

Trap Making
You excel at digging and making camouflaged traps. You may take 20 minutes to construct concealment in a given soft-grounded area. This is functionally a covered 10ft pit trap.

Sensitive Hairs
Your sense of touch is finely acute. +2 on all checks regarding touch and investigating objects (even magic ones). Additionally, if you're within 50ft of all of your webs or traps, and it's conceivable that a line of web could run between you and said webs or traps, you can tell if anything is touching your webs or traps.

Venom
Finally, your venom has developed. You may choose to employ venom after a successful attack. Pick one of the following options:
A) Paralytic Venom - 1/Day a successful bite attack prompts a Save. On failure, the target is paralyzed for 1 Hour, and loses 2d4 Strength and Agility for 24 Hours.
B) Cytotoxic Venom - 3/Day your bite attacks deal an additional 1d6 poison damage.
C) Forgetfulness Venom - 2/Day your bite attacks cause Forgetfulness, causing the target to be incapable of repeating the same action two rounds in a row. Lasts 1 Hour.


Robot Squid
Starting Equipment: Oil Can, Small Fish Friend, Squid-To-Common Translation Guide
Starting Skill [1d3]: 1 = Calligrapher, 2 = Pit Fighter, 3 = Psychologist

For Every Template: +1 HP, +1 to Dexterity every 2 templates.

A Squid, Robot, 2 Tentacle Attacks
B Oil Slick, 3 Tentacle Attacks
C Invisibility, 4 Tentacle Attacks
D Laser Eyes, 5 Tentacle Attacks!

Squid

You are a squid. A robot squid! You don't have hands. You instead of four tentacles. You can "talk" to other PCs based on familiarity or by ink writing. You can swim at a speed of 30'

Robot

You are also a robot. Beep boop. Which means you're immune to poison, sleep, and any sympathy whatsoever. It also means you're immune to any healing magic or HP gained from Lunch. Only resting will recover HP.

Tentacle Attacks
You have a number of tentacle attacks based on how many templates of this class you have, starting with 2 attacks at A, ramping up to 5 attacks at D. Each tentacle attack deals 1d3 damage.

Oil Slick

Twice a day you can produce an oil slick covering a 10x10 ft patch of ground, or a 15x15x15 volume of liquid. Additionally, you may substitute one of your attacks with an oil spurt. If doing so, make a combat maneuver roll. If you succeed, the opponent is blinded until they spend one round cleaning out their eyes. (Only works if they have eyes). Usable 3/Day

Invisibility

You can turn yourself Invisible, provided you're in contact with some surface and you're not moving.

Laser Eyes

Pew pew! You have laser eyes! Twice per day you can shoot lasers with an effective range of 400ft at a single target in line of sight. Deals 2d6 damage, no save.