Monday, April 29, 2019

d100 - What Happened This Semester

Silly straight-forward post today: what happened to you, oh wizard student, over the semester? Roll d100 maybe two or three times.

The longer the list got, the lazier I got, so instead of 100 unique entries, we got hierarchical structures. My recommendation is to take it apart and reassemble to whatever your cruel, shriveled heart requires.

What Happened This Semester..
The professor never showed up for lecture, and all attempts to contact them have failed.
A student 'accidentally' summoned a minor demon in a place they shouldn't have. Now The Janitors are involved with the class.
You got straight up A+'s. You never get A+'s. Something's weird.
Committee Meeting. Doesn't even matter if you aren't a graduate student.
A mysterious stranger dressed in a wide-brimmed hat offers you a job after graduation. You just need to take the 'Esoteric Appendices' class (which nobody takes) next semester, and offer up a thumb.
Entire class-year dismissed on orders from The Dean.
Found money on the street. 1d4 Spellgold. Its… (1d2)
1. Not even cursed! Nice!
2. Cursed.
You got robbed. But by whom? (d6)
1. Other students
2. Wizard Gang
3. Hungry Mo-RONs
4. Rogue professors
5. Those assholes at the League of Evil
6. Yourself.
Snagged a free meal at... (d6)
1. Le Restaurant Tranquille. In three days. You get one shot.
2. Shotgun Pete's Exploding Ribs and Sliders
3. The Cafeteria of Screams
4. Brainbrews
5. B/X Breakfast Pavilion*
6. The Morgue... But why?
Receive inheritance. 1d20x2 Spellgold
Found an issue of The Waking Eye!

Dossier on… (d12)
1. The Janitors
2. The Committee
3. The High Modernist Society
4. The Keepers of True Time
5. The Waking Eye, Itself
6. The Generous Hand
7. Church of the Spoon
8. Omicron Delta Theta
9. Order of the Nine Eyes
10. The Hypermath Cult
11. The Black-Robed Man
12. The Providence Men

With future plans for… (d10)
1. Edging out a rival
2. Infiltration of another cult
3. The Mo-RON population.
4. Bloody murder most foul
5. Time shenanigans
6. Monopoly
7. Things that already happened (this issue is past its expiration date)
8. Tipping The Market
9. Summoning something much worse.
10. Doing nothing… But nobody actively does nothing without reason.

And it involves… (d8)
1. Your closest professor
2. President of student union
3. An Archmage
4. Wanted criminal student activist
5. A wizard gang
6. The Dean
7. The Student Body (the body made of students from the bodies of students that the Anatomy Department keeps, not all students in aggregate)
8. Everyone.
Found a dead body! It’s… (d12)
1. The Dean
2. A Janitor
3. That student nobody really noticed or cared about
4. The student everybody noticed and cared about
5. A Mo-RON. Wait… That’s not a special occurrence!
6. Yourself? Oh shit.
7. Yourself, but much older. Crap.
8. Coming to get you.
9. Speaking. Relaying a message.
10. Infested with something horrible and contagious.
11. Tuesday. Nothing special.
12. Trying to sell you something.
Classroom Complications. (d20)
1. Your professor now hates you.
2. Your grades are suffering
3. Your professor is attracted to you.
4. Final project is late.
5. Violating copyright law
6. Experimental catastrophe
7. Crippling injury
8. Gained madness
9. Professor gained madness
10. Entire class except you gained madness.
11. Run out of funds
12. Finished all classwork early.
13. Murder most foul. Entire class implicated.
14. Impossible work required.
15. Experimental subjects went missing
16. Textbooks are horribly outdated.
17. Classroom now has permanent portal to horrible netherworld. Classes still held.
18. Class quarantined, will be monitored for foreseeable future.
19. Everyone in class has swapped dreams
20. Professor cannot speak Common language anymore. Forced to use the harsh language of beatings.
Caught someone’s eye… (d10)
1. The hobo who sits outside the chem building.
2. Your professor
3. The Dean. Oh God, The Dean…
4. A spider Mo-RON, what does it want?
5. ...who is spontaneously materializing in your lunch.
6. ...with your face. It was going around 20mph.
7. ... that is following your every movement.
8. A graduate student with a degree in Torture.
9. Bodypart procurer.
10. Wizard Gang leader.
Student Loan Officer is coming for your… (d10)
1. Molars
2. Fingernails
3. Heels
4. Corneas
5. Rusty coins
6. Pocket lint
7. Memories
8. Love
9. Entire Body (enjoy being a Mo-RON!)
10. Fresh brain
Rent’s due again, but you already paid. Why? (d10)
1. You paid a doppelganger
2. Time shenanigans. Fucking hell.
3. Wizard Gang extorting landlord.
4. Wizard Gang IS landlord.
5. Need to pay the ghost too
6. Money was counterfeit
7. A spellshark ate it. Literally? Maybe.
8. The rent ran away.
9. Rent tax
10. Compound interest
You’ve gotten an award for… (d6)
1. “Excellence in Aerodynamics.” Award is trapped with anti-grav trigger.
2. “Good Brain Size”
3. “Being Good With The Thing”
4. “Least Troubling Pupil”
5. “Most Likely to be Thrown Into Future”
6. “Mediocrity in Intransigence”
Complications with Experiments… (d12)
1. Your shadow works 3 seconds ahead of you in time.
2. Gained a new limb
3. Gained another eye in weird place.
4. Grown 2d6 inches.
5. Shrunk 2d6 inches.
6. Books slam shut in your presence.
7. Number-Dyslexia
8. Portraits’ eyes now watch you wherever you go.
9. A parasitic moss grows on the soles of your feet.
10. You can only count backwards now
11. Can read thoughts of people you’re touching
12. Must now shout every fourteenth word
Unintended discovery: (d12)
1. A new number
2. Alternative pain medication
3. Thing which can be used as substitute eye
4. New esoteric language
5. Mutant common insect
6. Mutant common rodent
7. Secret personal library
8. Hidden street
9. Super special secret street food cart
10. Magical body piercing vendor
11. Portal between buildings
12. Extradimensional nap hall
You made a friend! (d20)
1. Stray cat
2. Stray raccoon
3. Stray graduate student
4. Your worst/harshest professor
5. Very emotional Mo-RON
6. Broke wizard gangster
7. Baby who is clearly older than appearance
8. Other wizard’s familiar
9. One-eyed hobo who lives in the garbage
10. Pile of sentient medical waste
11. Polite Cronenberg monstrosity
12. Rival’s shadow
13. Your own arm, which has gained a peculiar sentience
14. Mouse which lives in magic hats only
15. Living floating lab coat
16. Strangely enticing lampshade
17. Soul-handsy demon
18. Broken clock salesman
19. A Janitor
20. One of those screaming books

*Thank you Anomalous Subsurface Environment!

Saturday, April 20, 2019

The Sanction Scenario

This is a scenario I've thrust upon my home campaign group. Is it a reactive module - something to introduce to the campaign when the right people have been sufficiently pissed off. In this case, they managed to piss off a major House, and aggrieved House's chosen recourse is to drag them to the Crooked Court.

I figure I'd share it here as a potential case study for player agency - it's an open scenario with factional play and about a thousand ways things could go, and opportunities for shenanigans abound. This will also serve as a reference for my players, if they're clever enough to read this blog.


The first vote is old. She cares for tradition and protocol.
The second vote is young. She cares for money and power.
The third vote is decadent. She cares for pleasure and vice.
The fourth vote is mad, and he serves a mad god.
The last vote is fate. It is left to the gods and to luck, to do as they may.

A simply majority decides your fate. There are no abstentions. No loopholes. This is a political trial. It is a religious trial. There are no tricks in religion. There are no tricks in religion. Refrain, and do what you must.

Given straight, this is a political trial with four judges and five votes. Three judges are matriarchs of the three most powerful Houses. One judge is a servant of the mad god. The last vote is completely up to chance, to be adjudicated by a die roll from the DM. There are ways to influence any and all of these judges. Everything and anything is fair.

A summary diagram.

The Judges

Laetha, of the House of Parchment and Marble

Statecraft has been the domain of her House for millennia. A political trial is precisely her element.
A disciplined matriarch, in body and mind. Her every word has purpose.

What She Wants: 
For tradition to be respected.
For the trial to be "fair" (i.e. a true political trial, a vote of popularity).
For Miz'ra to be crushed and her House subjugated as Ghilaera's was.
More slaves.
For her House to be seen as equal to the past great Houses of old.

What She Has:
A vast slave population.
Direct ties to legendary historical figures.
The most experience of any current politician.
The largest Senate voting bloc.
Statecraft Clerics
An elaborate web of connections spanning nearly every House
A robust trade network

Laetha doesn't have time for your shit.
(From Disney's Cinderella)
How She Views The Other Judges:
  • Miz'ra - An upstart and a cutthroat. Her most dangerous rival. If she is quick to the defense of the accused, then it means she cut a deal, and must be opposed.
  • Ghilaera - A dangerous fool. Her faction holds the swing vote in the Senate. She cannot afford to make her cross. She also cannot afford to cede leadership.
  • Amom - Worthy of a grudging respect, provided he remains independent. If it seems like he's taking sides, then he gets no mercy.
  • Fate - She will want it to be determined in the old way. Blood ritual.

Divide and conquer. Erode the base of support for the opposition then kick them over when the foundation is weak.

If Pressured: 
1. False flag operations.
2. Spread rumors.
3. Swamp opposition in legal challenges.
4. Bribes of slaves and lucrative political offices.

Miz'ra, of the House of Bone and Silver

The new money, the new power. She has everything to prove and everything to lose.
A multi-widow fat from her conquests.

What She Wants: 
To use this trial to get ahead.
To show up Laetha and usurp her position of authority.
To acquire more wealth.
To acquire more bodies for necromancy.
To acquire more land.
To acquire influential allies through marriage.

What She Has:
The most land suitable for agriculture.
A large, loyal family
An undead army
Influence among the Wizards.
Money. Lots of it.

She sneezes more than your net worth.
(From Disney's The Little Mermaid)
How She Views The Other Judges:
  • Laetha - An old bag that would do better to get out of the way. Will fight her on every issue that doesn't directly benefit herself.
  • Ghilaera - A feeble weakling, undeserving of her station. An ideal tool, if the right levers can be pulled. Miz'ra wants to find her price and her weakest point. Is it bribery? Threat? Spite?
  • Amom - Outdated, irrelevant, idiotic. She despises the mad god and his servants. She would have him killed in an instant, if she thought the price of his martyrdom wasn't too high.
  • Fate - She wants a coin flip. If it's the deciding vote, she'll have a puppet-minion try to influence the outcome. To maintain deniability, she'll give this task then wipe her memory of it.Whether it's discovered or not, she'll kill this puppet-minion and ensure that they can never testify.
Identify then strike at the weakest links in the chain and work up from there. Maintain deniability.

If Pressured: 
1. Bribes of money - coinage laced with surveillance bugs.
2. Kidnapping + Modify Memory
3. Offer political marriage
4. Brutal but deniable assassination on important minions

Ghilaera, of the House of Poppies and Whips

The swing vote in nearly all things. It has made her an exemplar of opportunism.
She's definitely on drugs. It makes her notice things others don't.

What She Wants: 
To pit Laetha and Miz'ra against each other. To watch them do battle.
To be an equal to Laetha and Miz'ra.
To be entertained.
To experience new highs and insights.

What She Has:
The swing voting bloc in the Senate
A menagerie of exotic mounts and monsters
Criminal network

Ghilaera lives on the edge of a blade.
(From Disney's 101 Dalamations)
How She Views The Other Judges:
  • Laetha - A horrid wet blanket and a crone. A more reliable ally, though, than Miz'ra.
  • Miz'ra - A potential powerful ally, but far too accepting of change to the status quo for comfort. She knows Miz'ra will stab her in the back the minute she doesn't need her.
  • Amom - The most fun, second to Fate. She wants him, lustfully. She thinks it will grant her special powers and favors from the Mad God. She knows how dangerous this is but wants it anyways.
  • Fate - She wants champions to have bloody fight to the death.
Go to either Laetha or Miz'ra for support. Use either of them as a shield against the other.

If Pressured: 
1. Offer Miz'ra or Laetha her voting bloc in exchange for support and protection.
2. Arson
3. Enlist monster. Preferably one that eats brains.
4. Make promises to all sides, uphold none of them.

Amom, Rememberer for the Mad God

He has a subtle madness in the way of his god - the kind that slowly dawns into wretched light.
A mask for the mad god, and a mask for himself. Take care which he wears, and give proper address.

What He Wants: 
For the Mad God to be satisfied.
For his religious authority to be respected, or those who forsake it to be punished.
A slow descent into madness. So slow that nobody notices, and everybody simply takes it for granted.

What He Has:
Servants of the Mad God. They are legally allowed powers of inquisition.
Religious immunities. Cannot be charged with assaults or murders.

What kingdoms the Mad God forgets, Amom remembers.
How He Views The Other Judges:
  • Laetha - Her influence contributed to his rise in power. But the Mad God does not play favorites. Laetha cannot undo this decision. He needs to prove to the others that he's not biased.
  • Miz'ra - She does not pay the proper respects. Her House stands on a knife's edge with the Mad God. He is looking for an excuse to punish her.
  • Ghilaera - Absolutely certain she wants to have him murdered. Will never willingly speak or meet with her, or anybody in her service, outside of safe public spaces.
  • Fate - He wants the most esoteric and evenly random option.
Tactics suggest rationality. The Mad God is not rational.
(Recommend: Alternating between the highest conniving politics, and a dog chasing a car.)

If Pressured: 
1. Put on the mask of the Mad God, and let madness reign. For this:
  • Laetha will get dangerously paranoid.
  • Miz'ra will become more gluttonous and bold in her actions.
  • Ghilaera will excessively use drugs, devastatingly so. Will certainly try to murder someone.
  • For all else, whatever slight madness they have is amplified.
2. Choose a method of Fate that is least likely to work in opponent's favor.
3. Threaten everyone. Everyone.
4. Cave in to all influences at once, even if they conflict with themselves.


It has no bias. It has no wants. It's method is determined by the other four, with Amom having final say. It is a single instance. There are no repeats, no do-overs.

If anybody is discovered to have interfered with Fate (for instance, by rigging the coin flip, or creating an illusion), then all four of the Judges are obligated to slay the perpetrator on the spot, and they will almost certainly do so. They are all powerful sorcerers, and crushing a single opponent would be trivial with their combined might. For this reason, none of the Judges will interfere with Fate. An interloper's pitiful life isn't worth the wrath of the gods, nor the sanctity of this trial.

Important: even if the scenario occurs that Fate's vote doesn't matter, it will still be performed to ascertain whether the verdict sits good with the gods, and whether the judges should be worried with their choices or not.

Here are d12 potential methods, but by all means make it weirder.
Determined By...
Chance of Guilty Verdict (%)
Coin Flip
Guilty/Innocent Sides
Decapitation, chicken.
Witness where it lands. Inside the Seal of the Senate, or no? Inside = Innocent.
Decapitation, criminal.
What does the criminal whisper? Guilty or Innocent?
D20 Die Roll
Evens = Innocent
Odds = Guilty
Cockatrice Liver
Stone infiltration. Yes = Guilty
Basilisk Spleen
Amount of Blood. Does it fill the Chalice of Judgement? If overflowing, Guilty.
45, +/- 20 varying on size/health of basilisk.
Champion Fight, Unfair.
First champion to die loses. No rules, bounds, or time limits.
Champion Fight, Strange.

Each allowed nothing but one magic weapon which does not obviously cause harm.
Whose champion is victorious.
1. Pillow 2. Tea Cup 3. Candle 4. Warm Coal 5. Bloody Eyeball 6. Quill 7. Chalice 8. Braid of Hair 9. Doll 10. Egg
1. Hidden Edge 2. Cursed 3. Exploding 4. Poisonous 5. Dancing 6. Mimic 7. Magic Jar 8. Hypnotic 9. Possessed 10. Plague-ridden
Champion Fight, Insult Contest.
Magnitude of crowd noise. An audience of 1000 jesters, slaves, and thieves serve as judges.
Moon Augury
The Image the next visible Moon shows.
Blood = Guilty
Anything Else = Innocent
Draw from the Deck
The Deck of Many Things. Negative result = Guilty. Positive = Innocent. If neither, draw again.
41 on each try
Arrow Shower
Accused tied to post at range 1200ft. Three trained archers of the city guard attempt to shoot her three times. Any hit indicates guilt.

If Found Innocent...

There are no ill effects, and perhaps most importantly you have achieved a symbolic and real political victory. You are now firmly a part of the "Us" of the city.

If Found Guilty...

Citizenship stripped. Property rights stripped. Face exile, or worse if you stay.

How This All Plays Out

You, the accused, need 3 votes to be found innocent. There are a few ways this is likely to go down.

Innocent : 2 Guilty split vote. Fate becomes tiebreaker. This is likely if the party puts most of their effort into getting either Laetha or Miz'ra, and either Ghilaera or Amom. Laetha and Miz'ra will almost definitely vote in opposite directions, and whoever is voting against you will try to get Ghilaera and Amom on their side. In this situation, Amom's support is crucial so that you can get Fate's odds in your favor.

Laetha and Miz'ra teaming up their votes against Ghilaera and Amom would be bizarre, but possible, if both powerful matriarchs think they can win the party to their side.

3 Innocent : 1 Guilty. Automatic victory without Fate. This is most likely to happen with Ghilaera, Amom, and one of the other matriarchs. The best way to go about this, methinks, is making one of the two powerful Matriarchs an enemy of everyone else. The difficulty with this outcome is having a better offer for Ghilaera than Miz'ra or Laetha can put forward.

1 Innocent : 3 Guilty. Automatic loss without Fate. What happens when you fail to court Ghilaera and Amom. You cannot win on the support of one powerful Matriarch alone.

0 Innocent : 4 Guilty. Fate doesn't matter. So, you've managed to piss off everyone? Good job! Enjoy your exile.

4 Innocent : 0 Guilty. Fate doesn't matter. Super unlikely. Potentially unwise. Can't please everyone in the long run.

Sunday, April 14, 2019

More University Cults

I've updated the last University Cults post in order to retroactively format in the RUMORS section, which I've found more useful for describing cults and maximizing their potential.

It Is Called: The Custodians
Type: Staff Cult
Threat Priority: Medium

The Janitors. Nobody dares question how they work, not even the university administrators, but the halls remain clean and the trash empties, regardless of the lack of oversight. Do not look into their closets, for within are shrines to the Clean God, and it does not abide those who do not serve.

Those who gaze into the maintenance closets or accost and belittle the Custodians invariably first go mad, then go insane, then go missing. Where do they go? None would dare investigate, lest they too gain the dire attention of the Clean God.

Don't go in the maintenance closet.
By cinemamind
Only protocol will save you during interactions. If they ask you to do something, do it. Do not question the Custodians.  Do not impede their work. Do not follow them into dark hallways. Do not follow them in general. Do not make eye contact or converse with them, unless they made eye contact or converse first, in which case you ABSOLUTELY MUST CONVERSE! Just don't ask or question what they're doing.

And above all, do not go in a Maintenance Closet. Don't even look in it. Just get out of their way and let them do their work, and the halls and rooms shall be clean of filth. Rumors of the shrines within the closets are abound. Students claim to have snatched glimpses of the sculptures within.

An effigy: a blood-dripping ram's skull mounted upon a rib cage of brooms, intestines of mop heads falling out, eviscerated.
A shrine: knickknacks and discarded food, forming a collage of a smiling, cruel face. Black candles.
An abomination: an amalgamation of lint, fused to the far wall. It's maw opens wide. It beckons in with dust-choked gasps.
A body: squirming and suffocating within a trash bag, like a caterpillar in cocoon. Depressions where the mouth draws in breath. It tries to scream.
A pool: acidic rank, smells of lemon a thousand fold. Gloved, coiled hands reach from below the surface.
A vacuum: dark nothing. A horrible void. It draws you in, slow first then impossible to escape. The door slams shut. The cacophony is unbearable.
An abyss: a vertical portal, swirling ever deeper, stretching you out like a black hole.

1. The Custodians murder and dismantle the mad in the dead of night, cleaning up the mess perfectly and with total coordination long before the morning dawn.
2. They throw dis-satisfactory faculty, staff, and students alike into the maintenance closets when nobody else is looking, for the Clean God to consume as sacrifice.
3. They drown accosters in cleaning acid, simultaneously killing and dissolving the body, before pouring the remains down drains that none but they know lead where.
4. The Clean God is a misnomer. In reality, it is the God of Filth, for nothing can be cleaned without something else getting more dirty. The Custodians are agents of entropy - inescapable, the entire universe funneling towards its own dirty-heat-death. They are here to help it along.

It Is Called: The Committee
Type: Faculty Cult
Threat Priority: Low

My palms were sweaty. I'd been standing here, blinded by the auditorium lights for three hours. 'Better absurdly early than late', I'd thought. I didn't think how the idleness would affect my hands. Surely they'd notice. Surely they'd take note. I was a walking dead man, and all because I insisted on being early! Dead man. Dead man. Dead man!

I heard a click at the door. It caused me to jump, then fumble frantically with my papers as I nervously tried to avoid eye contact with the five hooded figures ritualistically seating themselves across an elevated bench. Where they sat it was dark. I couldn't even be sure they were there, 'til I saw a glimmer of brass emerge from the darkness. A womanly hand reached out of the dark.

She pushed forward a cup from her hand. It smelled noxious, of acute notes of mustard. My stomach wretched at the scent and sight.

"Drink from the cup." Said the woman.
"What? I-"
"Drink. And we will deliberate."

My heart dropped into my gut. Was this what the other students meant? Nobody had ever described a goblet before. Was this a test? Was this the test? Was all my hard work in preliminaries for nothing? Were they trying to sense my hesitation? Was I-


Without second thought, I lunged for the cup, and drank. It tasted smooth, like lavender. I remember being pleasantly surprised, and the horrified. There came a noxious aftertaste - a burning gas that fumed from my nose and mouth, like my head was a smoke grenade or a chemical show. I coughed and sputtered, before downing the rest of the horrid draught.

There was a moment of silence. A moment before I wretched. I could feel something caught in the back of my throat - a slimy certain something. It clung to my esophagus like a wretched baby; then, loosed by the spasm of my lungs and onto the floor. My eyes watering, I barely made out its green and black-spotted form. I blinked, and it became clear: a slug, or so I thought, colored of phlegm with eyes an iridescent black. A globule of spit dripped from my mouth to the floor, right in front of my superiors. What did it mean?

"You have passed your Preliminaries. We look forward to your research proposal in two months."

The Committee stood up, exiting the room one by one, leaving me alone on the floor, with a slug born from my lungs. It looked at me as if I had betrayed it. Had I? I don't know.


The fear and bane of all graduate students. The Committee is an cult of anonymous mask-wearing faculty that oversee and approve of graduate students' projects and dissertations, thereby welcoming them into the university as faculty. They should never be taken lightly.

A legit method at Committee gatherings.
1. If you kill a member of a Committee, at The Committee, you then take their place.
2. The secret methods employed by a Committee are unique and tailored to meet the weaknesses of each particular student. The odds are stacked against you. To overcome is the test.
3. The Committee picks projects not based on merit, but by those who would make the greatest human sacrifice upon reaching faculty level. What Dark Power wants professor's souls?
4. There are, in fact, no faculty behind the masks. There is nobody behind the masks. They are not people, and neither are you, if you succeed.

It Is Called: The Waking Eye
Type: Student Group
Threat Priority: Medium

It takes a cult to expose a cult. To that end was made The Waking Eye, the one and only truly legitimate student newspaper. All others are puppets, so sayeth The Eye. It reports on other cults.

There is ritual in the process of the free press. Many powerful forces constantly seek to intervene with the powers of journalism, that they may sway true word and proper discourse to their own selfish esoteric ends. The only defense against such occult forces is a cult devoted to combat them.

Identities are anonymous and ring-based, one member knowing no more than one other member. Intent must be proven by conditional-suicide blood pact. Any published word must pass the Waking Eye, lest lies propagate through the paper. The Eye knows the truth. The Eye knows lies.

Issues of the Waking Eye are never printed on the same medium twice. They remain hidden as illusory script, visible only to those who know the secret ritual to bring the words forth. Issues have been printed in library books, on homework assignments, scrawled on students' backs, or graffiti'd on walls. There are many old issues lying around, as yet to be discovered, hiding and detailing particular cult activity. Once read they disappear forever, to shield its words from authorities.

This has led to a phenomenon known as The Hunt for the Waking Word, which comprises several distinct phases:

1. A rumor begins that a new issue of The Waking Eye has been released.
2. Speculation goes 'round about the medium.
3. Students begin inevitably experimenting on different things to find the new issues.
4. Soon after, cultists from the university begin their search.
5. The medium is discovered, and issues of The Waking Eye begin to quickly disappear.
6. Those students caught viewing The Waking Eye are severely punished by the university. "Academic Probation"

There is an active bounty on all members of The Waking Eye. 100 spellgold a piece - not a light sum.

1. Every printed paper bears the Seal of The Waking Eye upon its surface, and so serves as a vessel for The Eye to see into our world.
2.  Falsehoods may not be printed upon a surface bearing the Seal, or so it is said. There are reasons to doubt, but then again, there are reasons to doubt anything in Wizard City.
3. Every member of The Waking Eye is actually dead, and has been for decades. What actually remains is merely a kind of Stand Alone Complex perpetuated by the student body.
4. There are many old issues of The Waking Eye hidden around campus, waiting to be stumbled upon by particularly investigative students. The older and better hidden the issue, the more revelatory its information. If you find one, Campus Security will come looking for you.

It Is Called: Keepers of the True Time
Type: Faculty Group
Threat Priority: Medium

They have kept the true time of the universe for a thousand years, and they intend to keep it until the end. A cooperation between the Bureau of Spatial and Temporal Matters and the University, devoted entirely to accurate and esoteric timekeeping.

Their timekeeping is accurate for the age of the universe plus-or-minus 3 seconds. This inaccuracy is blamed on the one they call Dave - he who screwed up the clocks and either gained or lost up to 3 seconds about seven hundred years ago. All attempts to go back in time and fix this have all been for naught, so fucked up was Dave's fucking up. As such, Dave's name is to be used in all curses. Ex: "Oh, look, Steward Dave-d up again, surprise surprise!", "You've really Dave-d it this time.", "You're such a Dave..."

The Keepers wear robes covered in little metal plates, and many many methods of timekeeping: watches, entire grandfather clocks, water clocks carried by four, trains of pregnant women.

1. The Keepers have a clock which is counting down by the second to the next Apocalypse. They refuse to show it to any but the highest of authorities.
2. The Keepers have a clock showing the lifespan of the Universe, divided into 7 hours. We are almost at hour 3.
3. Someone or something from the future keeps sending people back into the present to set back the Keepers' clocks. For some reason, this amount of time is always exactly 4.13 minutes.
4. The Keepers employ owls. Why do they employ owls? What do the owls do?