Monday, October 28, 2019

Elves, Memories, Clouds

It's a well-kept myth that Elves have long and deep memories.

Long? Yes. Deep? No.

They forget things as often as humans do. Frequently, even more often. A long life with a brain no more robust than the average human virtually guarantees the eventual onset of dementia and amnesia. It was considered a tragic, but inevitable reality of elven society - that every person would eventually move on and forget the life they once knew, submitting to reincarnation to renew the spirit but abandon the memory. Even so an elf, over several hundred years, might reinvent themselves a half-dozen times as earlier memories faded and new ones came and patted them down like eon-layers of soil and rock.

So it was, until the elven sages crafted a god - birthed it from their collective metaphysical genius, like Athena bloodily bursting from Zeus's crown - in a meteorological conjunction. A god that would hold all memories of their people, forever. It was named The Cloud.

Simon Alexandre-Clément Denis, 1786-1801

Clouds are, as the legends say, elven memories. Once a memory crosses the threshold of remembrance, it will coalesce in the sky. It will travel in dreamlike form, far into the sky where it would join the Cloud God and all their lost knowledge.

But the Cloud God is now dead, and the clouds have nowhere to go. So when time comes, they drizzle down from the sky and seek shelter in the ground. They pool in lakes, bubble in springs, and drizzle down the mountains in lyrical notes of nostalgia and regret.

What Does This Mean?

Robert Ducanson-Mountain Pool 1870
Elven sages used to read the auguries of clouds to access this accumulated knowledge. Their position, their type, their composition - like critiquing a painting. One can still do so, with the proper knowledge. Cloud auguries are still used among the sky-gazing aesketics of the wilderness.

Where Clouds form, there will be elves. How are most elves? Buried. Where? Underground, under ocean, under mountain. Even in death their corpses dream. Or, perhaps, there still lie mighty nations under earth and ocean where elves give thought. Like chasing the end of a rainbow - find where the clouds emerge, and you will find an ancient tomb.

All water holds memory, but it is fragile, like slick jellyfish flesh running through your fingers. This is why hydromancy is such a delicate art - the slightest of disturbances will warp the mirrors of memories into irreconcilable falsehood. Only in untouched places are accurate readings possible: mountain streams, magic springs, forgotten lakes, clear ponds, and still lagoons.

Friday, October 25, 2019

UGH Steam Tunnels 27-53

Under Gallax Hall - Level 2 - Steam Tunnels
Made on Gridmapper by Alex Schroeder

A compiled document for Level 2 - Steam Tunnels
can be found: here.

27. Supply Room
Upon observation and every Turn thereafter there is a 1 in 6 chance a Custodian is in this room. (Note: not approaching, literally inside the room, as if they’d been there all along) They will be hostile to all intruders.

Supply Room for the Custodians. Tools and Implements line the walls or are propped up on stands like a medieval armory. A treasure trove of hardware. Intensely idiosyncratically organized, requiring a SEARCH if looking for anything useful or in particular. 

Immediately observable in abundance: brooms, mops, cleaning supplies, paint, bleach, grease, screwdrivers, wrenches, hammers, sponges, plungers, rubber gloves, dustpans, waste bins, goggles, toilet paper, soap, paper towels.

SEARCH: Roll 1d6 on success. Roll one higher die for each Turn searching (1d6 > 1d8 > 1d10). Items replenish weekly. Italicized items do not replenish.

(1): 2d6 Custodial Uniforms.
(2): 1d4 Industrial Drums of Acid
(3): 10 pound sack of dust
(4): Diamond-tipped Hacksaw
(5): 3d6 thick balloons full of high-proof alcohol
(6): 3d6 folded bodybags
(7): Locked metal drawer (Trapped: handle contains die that permanently stains surface touched in ultraviolet ink, visible to Custodians, who will Curse you if they see it on you). Contains 3 rolls from the Body Loot table and a Wand of Hold Portal.
(8): 1d4 Spellscrolls: Cloth to Lead (2nd Level, 75gp each)
(9): Map of Level 2 - Steam Tunnels (including hidden shafts and secrets)
(10): Portable Hole

TREASURE: One among many mops is a Flying Mop, detectable by Detect Magic. It is only capable of flying when wet, drying out over 1d4 Turns.

Cloth to Lead: 2nd Level Transmutation. 30ft Range. Save vs. Wands. Converts all cloth on person into lead. Leaden clothes require time to remove as armor: Partially Clothed = Light Armor, Fully Clothed = Medium Armor, Excessively Clothed = Heavy Armor. Lead clothes provide protection from Radiation. Conditions dependant on how well-dressed subject is:

Naked, Clothes not made of Cloth: No Effect.
Partially Clothed: subject becomes moderately encumbered and suffers 20% spell failure.
Fully Clothed:  subject becomes severely encumbered and cannot cast spells.
Excessively Clothed: subject takes 2d4 damage, and is effectively stunned.

28. Hidden Jammed Emerald
Hot and muggy. Hundreds of fine pipes line the walls, floor, and ceiling. An invisible patchwork of cool and oven-hot metal.

SEARCH: An rock-embedded emerald as big as your eye (1500gp) is jammed two inches into the tail end of a pipe. It's incredibly hot to the touch both the emerald and the pipe, dealing 1d3 damage per Round while in unprotected physical contact.

TRAP: The emerald holds back the steam. Every round it's removed, unless something perfect eye-sized is jammed into the pipe, hot steam will fill the room, dealing 1d8 damage per Round to all within.

29. Covered Pit
A pit at the intersection. 20ft deep, covered by a chain link mesh that bends downward when stepped on. No Dexterity checks required to avoid unless 3 or more people (about 600 pounds) are standing on it. In which case the chain link mesh will collapse inward.

CONTINGENCY: The Custodian from Area 24 will slowly approach if any loud noises come from here. It will take them 5 Rounds.

30. The Furnace
 1-9: Two occupied Custodians   | 9-1: 3d6 Custodians

MONUMENT to the CLEAN GOD. The Furnace - a raging, unquenchable black flame encapsulated in an antiquarian crucible of star-steel and radioactive matter. It is a nuclear machine of impossible complexity, fed by indolent snaking pipes drooling condensation and oil.

Some say the Clean God resides within the brooding flame.

Some say The End of The Universe resides within the languishing flame.

Some say there's Nothing inside. Just Heat.

From 9 o'lock to 1 o'clock there is a gathering of Custodians to worship the Clean God's monument, each bringing an offering in a man-sized sack. They stand motionless for 1 Hour, chanting in unison, before one-by-one casting their offerings into the furnace, exclaiming in lifeless monotone: "For The Clean God, this Matter I offer..."

TREASURE: At the mouth of The Furnace is a Bottomless Bag of Coal. It weighs twenty pounds, and contains a virtually infinite supply of coal.

TRAP: At the peak of the steps, where the heat from the open furnace becomes least bearable, one may be forced to gaze into the core of The Furnace and see The End of All - the heat death of the universe - the inevitable fate of all things - the Clean God laid bare - thermodynamic Entropy.

They must Save vs. Charisma every instance they gaze into the Furnace, or succumb to existential nihilism, and become a servant of the Clean God. They will be NPC'd to be a Custodian. They shall clean without end and without rest, to bring more entropy to the universe and hasten its demise. Nothing may be cleaned without something else becoming more dirty, without more Entropy.

CONTINGENCY: Two Custodians always guard The Furnace, tending to its great chemistry by adjusting gears and coaxing pipes that the University may be kept warm. If any intrude upon The Furnace who are not devotees to the Clean God, they will first offer a view of its inside with a gesture of their hands, and Curse those who refuse.

If the meeting is occurring, the Custodians will forsake their usual aloofness, and simply drag those present and force their view of The Furnace. Each is twice as strong as a normal adult.

31. Extending Crossway
This crossway requires 20 Turns (2 Hours) to traverse. Time shenanigans. Feels like 10 minutes. It seems to fly by...

Guaranteed Wandering Encounter: Roll on the Wandering Encounter list. It comes when you’re at the crossway. 1d4 for direction: 1: North, 2: East, 3: South, 4: West.

32. Warm Morgue, Paddleboat??
1-4: Empty  | 4-6: Custodian  | 6-7: Empty | 7-10: Ghoulish Hybrid  | 10-1: Empty

Sixteen empty stretchers, laid out like a triage clinic. The Ghoulish Hybrid (see Area 35) comes here looking for meat and bones to steal.

There’s also a paddleboat in the corner. Requires two people to lift, and can seat four. Moves at half human speed. Draws the Giant Croc. Causes Sewer Oozes to flee.

CONTINGENCY: If any mass battles occur, the Custodians will bring the excess of bodies here, to strip them down of anything useful before carrying them off to The Furnace (Area 30). These bodies will be gnawed on and mutilated by the Ghoulish Hybrid in the meantime.

It’s warm and humid. Bodies rot like it’s a jungle.

33. Closet
1-5: Empty |  5-7: Ghoulish Hybrid |  7-9: Empty | 9-10: Custodian  | 10-1: Empty

Detritus, yet the floors are clean. Four human femurs, three academic papers on feline psychology, and a broken brass clock with 11 Hours on its face.

TREASURE: The brass clock is worth 40gp for its historical curiosity. If provided with evidence of the Administrator’s time meddling this value jumps to 1200gp.

SECRET: From inside the closet, the wall across from the door (secret entrance on map) is revealed as illusion. One can simply walk through it.

34. Shrine to the Clean God
1-3: Empty  | 3-4: Custodian  | 4-1: Empty

A dark, cold abyss. An unending vacuum. A neverending hungry void. Hold the door open for too long, and it will suck you in.

TRAP: The door resists opening. If forced open a steady vacuum into the abyss ramps up.

Round 1: No Effect
Round 2: Save vs. Strength with Advantage or get sucked in.
Round 3: Save vs. Strength or get sucked in.
Round 4: Save vs. Strength with Disadvantage or get sucked in.

Once something’s been sucked in, or the door is voluntarily closed, the door will slam shut. Those lost to the Abyss return as Ghosts on Level 3 - Old Gallax Building, or as Custodians in 2d6 Days.

35. Creaky Metal Walkway
1-5: Ghoulish Hybrid  | 5-6: Empty | 6-7: Custodian  | 7-1: Empty

ARCHITECTURE: Entire room’s floor is an elevated metal walkway, with two feet between it and concrete below. This walkway creaks loudly as it’s walked on. 

It’s dark. Lots of places below the walkway to hide and stalk. Small chutes in the dark corners of the room to descend below the walkway.

A Ghoulish Hybrid often lurks beneath the walkway, in the darkest corner. If one is really silent on approach, one can hear its rasping breath. It retreats here daily to avoid the Custodians, and hides from all newcomers, fearing for its safety.

Ghoulish Hybrid
AC Leather  HD 2   HP 9   Morale 4
1d8 Desperate Claw
Undead Immunities
Sneaky:  3 in 6 Hide chance. Can hold breath for 1 Hour.
Half-Undead: Turning checks against have Disadvantage.

36. Concrete Seal
ARCHITECTURE: The door to this room is a solid concrete wall, darker (more recent) than the concrete around it.

One needs to tunnel or bypass 2ft of concrete to access this secret room. Any tunnels made into this room will be patched up by the Custodians in 2d6 Days.

Fingernail claw marks on the inside of the secret concrete wall.

SECRET: A similar concrete wall on the south side of the room. Tunnel 5ft through it and you’ll reach the shaft spanning between Level 1 - Basement and Level 4 - Monastery.

TREASURE: A dusty steel chest containing 245gp, the old-fashioned key to Area 47, and a well-dressed (9gp) skeleton clutching it. An old note in the chest: “It was hell getting this from the monks. Curse the cats. I’ve increased my share.”

37. High Waters West
1-3: Giant Croc   | 3-1: Empty

It's dark. Sewage waters waist high, emerging from pipes all around to slowly drift south and east.

A Giant Crocodile prowls these waters, unflinching to source of light. It will ambush anyone near the bank if they hesitate in their actions, attempting to crush then drag the bodies into the water.

CONTINGENCY: Loud noises draw the Giant Croc from 38 or 40, if not present.

Giant Croc
AC Chain   HD 4   HP 20  Swim Speed x2 Human
1d12 Chomp
Enhanced Critical: Attacks deal an additional 1d12 damage on an attack roll of 20.
Looks like Flotsam: 2 in 6 chance of surprise when waiting in murky water.
Hypnotic Death Roll: If restrained or grappled, may perform a corkscrew roll, flashing brilliant multicolored scales on its belly. As Hypnotic Gaze.
Shapeshift - Dungeon Swan: If the Dungeon Swan is incapacitated or dies, the Giant Croc shapeshifts into the new Dungeon Swan within 1 Day.

38. Grate
1-3: Empty  | 3-5: Giant Croc  | 5-8: Empty | 8-1: Giant Croc

Waist high water, slowly listing east and south. Steel bars cross the south part of this T-junction.

CONTINGENCY: Loud noises draw the Giant Croc from 37 or 40, if not present.

39. Flotsam Junk Trap
Floating and bottom-rolling waste piled water-surface-high in big soggy smelly masses. Fatbergs of detritus and oily wads. If something at some time was flushed down from the building above, it’ll probably end up here.

SEARCH (1): 5d20gp in magical salvage (wand parts, broken gems, teeth)
SEARCH (2): The Custodial Brush

The Custodial Brush - An unusually clean hand broom. Cleans any surface graced by its bristles perfectly, even soaking up oil, rust, and any trail conceivable. Also ‘cleans’ off skin. Effectively a +2 Medium Weapon vs. Unarmored targets.

40. High Waters East
1-5: Empty   | 5-8: Giant Croc  | 8-1: Empty

Waist high water, slowly listing south.

CONTINGENCY: Loud noises draw the Giant Croc (see Area 37) from 37 or 38 if not present.

41. Electric Lab
1-8: 2 Hybrids |  8-1: 2 Sisters of the Cell + 2 Hybrids

Copper wires and tesla coils all over the damn place. The errant spark snaps and crackles. A single examination table at the epicenter of this mess, hooked up to all manner of exposed wiring fed through tubes and mediated via levers.

Jars of clear briny buffers and buckets of poisonous salts.

From 8 to 1 two Sisters of the Cell are here, siphoning off power from the Quartering Pylons (Area 49, Level 1) for all manner of electro-assay and frankensteinian experiment. They like cackling, lots of cackling.

(Inform Dr. Kinsley of this and you’ll gain the favor of the Torture Department. He’ll also send you down to end this in exchange for favors (typically involving torture).)

Two trusted Hybrids, loyal to the Sisters, guard this station. If either of them are part-man, they can use the cords to electrocute enemies in the water. If not, they’ll play dead until an opportune time to strike.

CONTINGENCY: Exposed cords are 1d10x10ft long. If introduced to watered rooms they deal 2d6 damage to anyone in that room each Round.

42. Empty, Dry, Spare Pipes
It’s empty, but dry. Two stacked piles of 15ft-long spare pipes by the eastern wall.

43. Dead Custodian
A decomposing Custodian body rots, floating face down. The bloated torso has been rent open (by toothed bill), and its liver is missing. His custodial uniform is quite spoiled with blood, and sliced from the front, but intact otherwise.

TREASURE: Roll thrice for What’s In The Pockets?

44. Whirlpool
Large whirlpool continuously sucks down nearby sewage and objects. Coming within 10ft prompts a Save vs. Strength or get sucked in. That which enters the whirlpool must roll percentile and make a Breath Holding check.

Percentile: On a 1% chance, that object is whisked away to the realm of the Clean God, never to be found again. If the Custodians have been crossed recently, that chance is 3%. 

Breath Holding Check: If failed, the creature arrives in its new destination unconscious with sewage in its lungs. (Water breathing negates this. Methods like air bags grant advantage.)

All other results end with the object marooned within the Waterfall (Area # TBD) in Level 4 - Monastery.

45. Gratings, Vandalism
Metal grating covers the northern passage. Broken metal grating covers the western passage, leading up to Area 51. 

Evidence of vandalism: hash marks etched on the wall totaling 37 (representing Black Magic Brothers who made it this far). Caveman-like black paint graffiti of skulls, ghosts, and students in black robes. The graffiti seems to dance in torchlight, among light-refracted aurora borealis from the water.

46. Dungeon Swan
1-2: Dungeon Swan  | 2-4: Empty | 4-1: Dungeon Swan

In the darkness rests a giant black swan. Its eyes bear a hated yellow. Anything that comes close it will attack. It eats nothing but fresh bloody liver.

TREASURE: Three corpses beneath the murky waters hold 1d20x5gp each.

SECRET: Revealed by searching or by torchlight - a shimmering beneath the surface. The Robe of Mirrors - a cloak crafted from broken mirrors. Noisy, bright. Causes one to be Invisible to Ghosts while worn.

Dungeon Swan
AC Chain   HD 4   HP 20  Swim Speed x2 Human
1d12 Gut-Seeking Toothed Beak
Enhanced Critical: Attacks deal an additional 1d12 damage on an attack roll of 20.
Shapeshift - Axe Murderer: The Dungeon Swan may shift forms into a beautiful axe murderer. In this form remove the Swan’s swim speed, but give it a 3 in 6 chance of surprise. It can also converse with people in this form, but it hates them too much to do so.

47. Hidden Library
The steel door is locked. The key may be found in Area 36. An Unregistered Key or successful Lockpicking would also do.

If a key (or pick) is used to unlock the door, a message appears in luminous red letters upon the door:

“Read to your fill, but take only one, 
or the curse of the library will never be done.”

If a Knock spell or similar method is used, no message appears. The door closes itself unless propped open.

TRAP: Any person that takes more than one book (one book checked out per person per lifetime) past the threshold of the room will provoke a Curse on themself. Until all books the victim took are returned they cannot read, nor cast spells - words leap from the pages and crawl into cracks in the floor (rendering the book worthless), and the sounds of spells dissolve and evaporate into impotent gas. Trace their direction, and one will find them crawling or oozing back to the Hidden Library to compose new books.

TREASURE: 37 textbooks on various subjects, including some rare unpublished editions containing writer’s notes in the margins. Of the 37 books  1 in 4 chance of book being present on any given subject. Each book is worth 1d10x50gp.

48. Secondary Disposal
1-4: Empty  | 4-5: Sister of the Cell  | 5-6: Water Bear (Area 49)  | 6-1: Empty

Secondary dumping ground for the experiments of the Sisters of the Cell. One of them will be doing so from 4-5 o’clock.

Two 5ft high cliffs separate the waters from the Sisters’ territory. They toss their trash off them, though sometimes they miss the water, making the cliffs a bit slippery.

TRAP: Dexterity Save the first time one climbs on the cliffs. Failure and one slides down into the water, taking 10ft of fall damage and drawing the Water Bear from behind the grates of Area 49.

49. Water Bear Den
1-5: Water Bear  | 5-6: Empty | 6-1: Water Bear

A Bear-Ooze Hybrid (AC Chain; HP 13; HD 2; 1d8 Acid Teeth; Squeezable; Immune to Crits) lairs here, occasionally coming out to feed on the waste thrown from the cliffs in Area 48.

TREASURE: A gnawed-on chunk of amber worth 500gp.

50. Hatred Grass
1-2: Empty |  2-4: Dungeon Swan  | 4-7: Empty |  
7-8: 1d3 Sisters of the Cell  | 8-1: Empty

Tunnel glows in the dark with neon blues, purples, and reds of Hatred Grass, growing under the water. Invisible if conventional light is present. Swimming right down the middle of the tunnel can avoid one touching the grass.

TRAP: Touching the grass induces an intense hatred of anything and everything, causing those affected to immediately lash out at anyone nearby for 1d4 Rounds in blind fury.

CONTINGENCY: If the Dungeon Swan dies or is unavailable the grass will completely overtake this passage, and spread to each adjacent room at a rate of 1 room per day, until the entire submerged area is overgrown.

CONTINGENCY: If the Hatred Grass is removed, add the Dungeon Swan to the Variable wandering encounter list for this level. It'll be rightly pissed.

51. Semi-Sealed-Off Marble Stairs
1-9: Empty  | 9-10: 1d4 Black Magic Brothers

Metal grates over the west and north entrances. East entrance has been sawed through. The marble doors and other entrances are visible from any grating.

Through the marble doors are dual spiral staircases leading down to Level 3 - Old Gallax Building.

ARCHITECTURE: Metal pipes and oily rusted walkways turn to polished granite floors and walls. Press your ear against the stone, and you'll hear soft mad whispers of budgets and meetings.

52. Big Ol’ Sewer Ooze
1-3: Empty  | 3-10: Sewer Ooze

Water is waist high and filthy - oily slicks on the stagnant surface, garbage from the Wet Lab. Bones and cartilage of failed biomancy experiments hidden beneath the murky water.

If here, a big ol’ Sewer Ooze lies in wait beneath the surface, waiting to feast on flesh.

53. Sewer
1-3: Sewer Ooze  | 3-10: Empty

Water is waist high and filthy.

If here, a big ol’ Sewer Ooze lies in wait beneath the surface, waiting to feast on flesh.

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

UGH Steam Tunnels 1-26

Under Gallax Hall - Level 2 - Steam Tunnels
Made on Gridmapper by Alex Schroeder

1 Day = 10 Hours = 100 Turns = 1000 Minutes
1 Hour = 10 Turns
1 Turn = 10 Minutes

1 in 6 chance every 2 Turns, or on loud noise.

Roll 6d10 for the schedule of the Custodial Juggernaut.

Level 2
Die (d10)
A Cat

Sewer Ooze
Dungeon Swan
Giant Croc
1d4 Black Magic Brothers
2d4 Hybrids
Roll 6d10 Daily : Juggernaut + 1 Custodian per Duplicate Die Roll during those Hours
1d4+1 Sisters of the Cell
1d4 Sisters
1d3 Grad Students
1d4 Sisters
1d3 Grad Students
1d4 Sisters
1d4 Undergraduate Students
Stone Statue
No Encounter, Variable
No Encounter, Variable
Father Ghost

1. Panic Room
 1-2: Custodian   | 5-8: Empty |  8-10: Lisa

Brass plaque on outside door:

Panic Room
Maximum Occupancy: 1

Only one person may enter. If two try to enter at the same time, one is randomly expelled. Door swings shut upon entry. Just a modest room with a wooden bench. While one person is occupying the Panic Room, nobody may open the door or enter the room by any means short of a Wish.

Lisa: Sophomore, Sister, Secret Serpent. She occupies the room from 8 to 10 to do homework and cry out her anxieties. There's a lot of pressure being all at once a university Sophomore, a Sister in Omnicron Delta Theta, and secretly a snake-person. Otherwise an unrecognizable sister among many in Area 13 - Wet Lab.

AC Leather  HD 3   HP 13
1d3 + Mutagen Needle OR 1d4 + Poison Snake Head Bite
Poison: Save vs. Poison or die.
Mutagen: See Sisters of the Cell
Spells: Magic Missile, Knock, Conjure Snakes

2. Biohazard Sharps Pit Trap
ENVIRONMENT: Dense fog, restricts vision to 5 ft.

TRAP: South of panic room door are two consecutive 10ft covered pit traps filled with biohazard sharps. Falling in causes 1d4 additional damage (on top of fall damage) and requires 3 consecutive Saves vs. Poison, one each for Super-Lockjaw, Mutation, and Wizard Herpes.

Lockjaw: Paralysis. Onset: 3d10 Turns.
Mutation: As per Mutation list.
Wizard Herpes: Spells bubble in boils at the mouth, causing 20% chance of miscast.

3. Spooky Skeleton
ENVIRONMENT: Dense fog, restricts vision to 5 ft.

A dumb-looking Skeleton lies against the northern wall. Tattered student’s robes.

CONTINGENCY: Magic Mouth on the wall above activates upon touching the skeleton or its clothes. 

4. Humidifiers
1-2: Empty  | 2-4: 2 Sisters of the Cell  | 4-1: Empty

ENVIRONMENT: Dense fog, restricts vision to 5 ft.

Opened steam valves create a dense fog throughout rooms 2 through 5. There are seven openings that are hot to the touch, causing 1 damage burns if interacting unprotected.

The Sisters come here to calibrate, measure, and mentally record the humidity differential. They will each have Gaseous Form prepared.

5. Sharps Barbed Wire
ENVIRONMENT: Dense fog, restricts vision to 5 ft.

TRAP: Three hedges of barbed wire glued with whatever biohazardous sharps could be found: razor blades, needles, syringes, lancets, nails, staples, etc.

Hidden in the dense fog. Unless being careful (such as waving a stick ahead of you, or being completely armored) the first person walking this way will trip into the tangle for 1d4 damage plus 3 consecutive Saves vs. Poison: one each for Lockjaw, Mutation, and Wizard Herpes. (See Area 2 for disease descriptions)

If retreating in either direction, Sisters of the Cell will use Gaseous Form to get over this.

6. Make An Offering
1-3: Empty  | 3-4: 1d4+1 Black Magic Brothers  | 4-5: Tub has Body |  
5-9: Empty, Bloody Tub  | 9-10: A Custodian | 10-1: Empty, Clean Tub

A solitary bath tub, no faucets or drains. Engraved on its side: “Make an Offering”. Sometimes there’s a body left in it by the Black Magic Brothers. Sometimes the Custodians clean it.

The Three Weird Sisters in Area 7 collect the bodies and use them for their potions.

SECRET: Leaving a body gains the favor of the Sisters of the Cell - gain advantage on reaction rolls within 1 Day with them.

7. Double, double...

"Metal, metal, foil and nettle
Agar cool and culture settle.
Fillet of a giant snake,
In the kettle boil and bake;
Hope of anthropologist,
Buttocks of geologist ,
Eyes of the philosopher,
Tongue of the astrologer,
For a cell of finest fettle,
Let the culture cool and settle."

Three Weird Sisters of the Sorority of the Cell are mixing up a potion! It's...

1) Cancer in a bottle (Harmless, potentially useful cell line) 
       “Alive! Alive foreeeeeveeeeeeer!! (Ten-thousand generations capable!)”
2) Super-Cancer in a bottle (Pulsating mass leeches 1d6 CON on touch and doubles size) 
      “Beyond control! Subject to no wizard anymore! (...Or us, for that matter!)”
3) Flesh-eating bacteria (2 STR and DEX damage per 2 Turns on touch) 
       “Hungry, thirsty! Thirsty for juices and renders! (And eyeballs, especially!)”
4-6) Monster Mash! See Hybrid. “Our beautiful child! (So precious, so strong!)”
7) Giant flowing brain. (Can be used as per Augury spell. Pulsates = Weal. 1d4 Psychic damage in 20ft = Woe… or you forgot to feed it.) 
       “Oh so smart, so clever! Aren’t you, precious? (But why does it hurt?)”
8) Snake Oil. (When applied, makes person think their wounds have been healed) 
       “For burns and scrapes mild and severe! (But not for long! Hehehe…)”

The Sisters are unpredictable. Roll for Reaction every time they’re seen.
If friendly, they’ll ask for donations of biological matter. 
“Protein! Bring us protein for the pot!” “And fat! Sweet, sweet fat!” “Don’t forget the carbs!”

Three Weird Sisters
AC Unarmored   HD 6   HP 30 (shared health pool)
1d6 / 1d6 / 1d6 Three Sharp Knives
Spells: Fog Cloud, Augury, Invisibility, Tongues, Barksin, Sleep
Together Spells (all 3 casting simultaneously): Passwall, Wall of Flesh, Polymorph, Geas
Weirdness: These Sisters share a health pool, and sometimes each other’s sentences. When it is depleted they all perish into biological soup. (Worth 1000gp if ransomed back to the Sisters.)

AC Leather   HD 2   HP 8
1d8 Sharp Thing
Roll 2d10 for Components:

Duplicates create that animal… but MORE! (i.e. Bear-Bear = Double Bear, twice as Bearish)

Add This...
Add This...
+5 HP, +1 AC
Up damage die 1 step.
Double speed
2 in 6 chance of Surprise
Spider Climb
1d6 Poison
Swim Speed, Blood Scent
Intelligence, Can Use Objects
Immune to Critical Effects, Squeezable

8. OwlwO’s Nest
1-6: OwlwO  | 6-10: Empty  | 10-1: OwlwO

A ferocious but sometimes cuddly half-owl half-wolf hybrid makes her nest-den here - Owlwolf, shortened to ‘OwlwO’. Her left eye is always half-drooped, creating the (ΟΔΘ) Sorority sign with her face. Serves as a lookout for the Sisters when not hunting. Noise from Area 5 will prompt her to warn Sisters in Area 11 by making barking-screeching sounds.

She is quite hungry, especially for eyeballs. She likes to keep the ears and shiny things.

Area littered with compact pellets of fur and bones, nesting made from torn student robes and shredded textbooks.

TREASURE: 99gp pile of miscellaneous earrings with little bits of ear.

AC Leather   HD 3   HP 14   Speed as Wolf / Fly as Owl
1d6/1d4 Toothed Beak / Talon
Robust Physiology: Advantage on Saves vs. Poison and Constitution Checks.
Howling Screech: (1/Turn) 20ft cone - Save vs. Petrification or 1d4 sonic damage and Deafened for 2d6 Turns.
Just Wants a Friend: +4 to Reaction checks from other (large) hybrids or critters. Friendly to people who smell like the Sisters (agar, bacteria, rendered fat).

9. Walk-in Culture Room
1-4: Empty  | 4-6: 1d4 Sisters of the Cell  | 6-9: Empty | 9-1: 1d4 Sisters of the Cell

Smells like soiled jockstraps for yeast athletes, burnt and wet dog, bleach, or all three at once. Warm and humid. Rectangle tissue culture plates stacked like miserly coins, vials of clotted blood strewn like a blood bank exploded, recycled bottles full of cherry red or pale orange Kool-Aid (culture media).

Culturing biological experiments. It’d take a month to decipher what mad science is being tested here, less from its complexity than its lack of organization and proper labeling. The most important thing, really, is:

What Happens If We Knock Stuff Over?
(Roll once for single incident, 4 times for an explosion or similar catastrophe.)
1: Poisonous Gas fills the room. Anyone inside Save vs. Poison or die.
2: Flesh-eating bacteria released. Unluckiest person Save vs. Poison or take 1d4 damage per Round until dead or cured
3-4: Unluckiest person gets Random Mutation
5:  Unluckiest person smells like cotton candy permanently.
6-9: Nothing. Whew.
10: Everyone in room Save vs. Poison. On success, gain 2 in random Attribute. On failure, take 1d6 Damage.

10. Hall
Empty, except if any alarms have been sounded by the Sisters, in which case those in Area 11 will be here, listening at doors adjacent to the intrusion.

11. Dormitory
1-4: 1d4+1 Sisters of the Cell  | 4-9: 1d6+1 Sisters of the Cell  | 9-1: 1d4+1 Sisters of the Cell

Six beds, dirty or blood-stained clothes hanging from pipes. Sisters here will be resting, sleeping, or doing custom drugs.

TREASURE: 120gp in Custom Drugs strewn about (50% chance they’ll make you sick, 50% chance some other drug, but stronger.)

SECRET: Semi-hidden curtain-shade chain in the eastern corner can be pulled to raise the wall to Area 12, revealing the Secret Stash.

12. Secret Stash
TREASURE: Reagents for Biomancy: high-quality nutrient (100gp), mutagenic chemicals (400gp, 4 servings, causes Mutation on exposure), high-quality metal needles and glass syringes (50gp), three big chunks of bug-laced amber (300gp).

13. Wet Lab
1-4: 1d6+1 Sisters of the Cell  | 4-9: 1d4+1 Sisters of the Cell  | 9-1: 1d6+1 Sisters of the Cell

If an OSEH nightmare itself had a nightmare, this would be it. It puts the ‘wet’ in ‘Wet Lab’.

The Sisters will defend this room with zeal, though they won’t want to fight in it (for all the reasons listed below). If lost, they will send a fleshy messenger (as Animal Messenger) up through the pipes for 2d4+2 Sisters reinforcements arriving in 3d4 Turns for a counterassault.


Floors: (1 in 6 chance of stepping in something awful for 1 damage and Save vs. Mutation) sharps strewn like toxic Legos, pools of chemical waste, cracked glass, pipette tips… so many pipette tips.

Lab Benches: discarded tissue culture plates, stale media, third rate chemicals, surgical equipment, bloody tissues in abundance, TUBES. So much Wizard Herpes... and probably worse.

Miscellaneous Hazards:
Four scattered horizontal gas canisters: oxygen (highly flammable), laughing gas (as Hideous Laughter), carbon monoxide (suffocation), poison (as Killcloud). Enough to fill present and any adjacent rooms within 1 minute. Significant impact will send any of them exploding like an artillery shell up to 200ft, through thick walls too (10ft of wall = 100ft). Anything in the way must Save vs. Death Ray or get blown up.

(For locations/directions of canisters, roll 4d4 on a paper or the battle map. Die location is canister location. Die result equals canister direction. Pointed: 1) North 2) East 3) South 4) West)

Buckets of biohazard waste: five of these. Exposure means Save vs. Poison or Mutation.

(Toss 5d6 on your map. This is the location of the buckets.)

Portable High Energy Laser: 1d6 uses. Button-activated. Adjacent to southern wall, pointed towards northern door. As Color Spray of 6th level caster, but line attack with range of 400ft. Ornamented as seven eye stalks surrounding an unwieldy metal chest. Requires 20 combined Strength to move.

TREASURE: High-proof Alcohols (40gp), high-quality scales (50gp), 200gp in spellgold.

14. Toilet
Somehow, very clean and respectable. Pull a chain to flush.

Unless the toilets are flushed first there's a 75% chance for toilet to have a hostile Sewer Ooze (HP 10; HD 2; 1d8 Acid Splash) resting in it.

15. Steam Traps
Every Even Hour this hallway is spontaneously erupting blazing hot steam. Two consecutive Dex checks are required to pass unscathed. Each failure deals 1d4 damage.

16. Dead End

17. Crossway
1 in 6 chance (roll once an Hour) that entering this tunnel crossway causes one to instead enter Area 31 from a similar direction. Wonky spatial magic.

18. Secret Door Valve
Empty, steamy. Animalistic sounds of Hybrids radiating through the metal pipes.

SECRET: An orange valve tucked around some pipes on the eastern wall rotates open said wall, revealing the connection to Area 22.

19. Hybrids
1-4: 2d4 Hybrids  | 4-5: Custodian |  5-6: Empty | 
6-7: 3d4 Hybrids + 1 Sister of the Cell  | 7-1: 2d4 Hybrids

2d4 Hybrids languish in this room, replenished daily a Sister, leading them with leashes. From 4-5 a Custodian arrives to kill them to take their bodies to The Furnace. These daily hybrids are scared, hungry, and hostile.

There will be an additional 1d4 Hybrid corpses as they have cannibalized each other.

(To make it easy on yourself, roll 2d10 for Components for the entire group at once, instead of each individually. That is the hybrid composition of this ‘batch’.)

AC Leather   HD 2   HP 8
1d8 Sharp Thing
Roll 2d10 for Components:

Duplicates create that animal… but MORE! (i.e. Bear-Bear = Double Bear, twice as Bearish)

Add This...
Add This...
+5 HP, +1 AC
Up damage die 1 step.
Double speed
2 in 6 chance of Surprise
Spider Climb
1d6 Poison
Swim Speed, Blood Scent
Intelligence, Can Use Objects
Immune to Critical Effects, Squeezable

20. Heavy Metal Hazmat
Three lead-lined diving suits suspended from the ceiling by metal chains held on by carabiners. In event of severe environmental catastrophe two will be missing (worn by the Custodians at the incident).

TREASURE: Heavy Metal Hazmat Suit - protects from heat, cold, poison, and radiation. Provides 1 Turn of oxygen. Extremely heavy. Wearing or carrying one below average Strength is impossible. With above average Strength, subject gains one level of Exhaustion per Turn it is worn or carried. Worth 600gp each on the Black Market.

CONTINGENCY: If any Hazmat Suits are stolen and not returned within a Day, add Custodians to the Variable slots on the Wandering Encounter table. They want them back...

SEARCH: A disguised-as-pipe lever at the south end of the room opens a secret passage leading to the entrance stairs to Level 1 - Basement.

21. Gas Pipes
Multiple open-ended pipes culminate facing downward on the ceiling.

CONTINGENCY: If the Green Valve in Area 22 is turned left, Nerve Gas (Save vs. Poison or paralyzed. Repeat Save every Turn. Three consecutive fails = Death) will be pouring out of these open-ended pipes.

22. Valves, Valves, and more Valves
1-8: Empty  | 8-10: Two Custodians

Numerous colored valves along the western wall. Their pipes lead through the floor and ceiling. An empty metal sink sits in the corner, slowly dripping water.

When the Custodians arrive daily, they reset every Valve.

CONTINGENCY: Consult the table.

Valve Color
Left Turn
Right Turn
Reduction of Cold Effects in Level 3 - Old Gallax Building
Loss of heat to Upper Gallax Hall. Classes canceled/sabotaged.
Add The Dean to Variable entry.
Opens entrance to Area 18.
Cannot be turned Right.
A Sewer Ooze (HP 10; HD 2; 1d8 Acid Splash) emerges from the faucet of the empty metal sink.
No Effect
Nerve Gas emanates from Area 21. One adjacent area per minute.
Add 1d3 Grad Students from Torture Department to Variable entry.
Nerve Gas proceeds to Department of Torture. Faucets in Laboratory B (Area 37 Level 1) spew Nerve Gas instead of hot and cold water.
Water table in all flooded areas of 
Level 2 - Basement reduced.
Chest Height -> Waist Height
Waist Height -> Knee Height
Knee Height -> Foot Height
Water Fountain (Area 30, Level 1) ceases functioning, instead emerging from the faucet of the metal sink. Flows for 5 Rounds before empty, each serving providing 1d6 healing.
No Effect
No Effect

23. Custodial Alarm
1-7: Empty  | 7-8: Custodian  | 8-1: Empty

A body suspended from the ceiling in the middle of the room, like a caterpillar in cocoon. Depressions where the mouth draws in breath. If cut open, nothing but cotton and dirty paper towels pours out, though it will stop what sounds it makes.

TRAP: Approaching within 10ft of the body prompts it to scream and futility writhe: unleashing an ultra high-pitch screeching sound for two Turns.

CONTINGENCY: The Custodian from Area 24 will slowly approach if the alarm sounds. It will take them 5 Rounds.

24. Always Mopping

There’s a Custodian here, always scrubbing. There's rust in the floor that won’t come out. Ever.

CONTINGENCY: They’ll approach any loud noises, such as the Alarm from Area 23, someone falling in the pit in Area 29, or the Black Granite Door loudly scraping open in Area Area.

25. The Black Granite Door

ARCHITECTURE: Metal pipes and oily rusted walkways turn to polished granite floors and walls. Press your ear against the stone, and you'll hear soft mad whispers of budgets and meetings.

A black granite slab, three feet thick. It is cold, incredibly cold. Frosted breath near it, despite the heat and humidity of the surrounding tunnels.

SEARCH: An invisible key hole, found by deft fingers. The key no longer exists - it was thrown into the Furnace long ago. Only an Unregistered Key will silently open it.

TRAP: Using Knock on the door produces a cataclysmic crack, prompting a Wandering Encounter roll with double chance and the Custodian from Area 24 to approach. It will take 3 consecutive Knock spells to fully split the door, allowing access.

Past the door are polished granite stairs leading down to Level 3 - Old Gallax Building.

26. Custodial Juggernaut
1-10: (Special)  | 10-1: Custodian
Special: Juggernaut schedule determined randomly each day. Roll 6d10. It’s Active during those hours. Accompanied by a Custodian at the hour per every duplicate die roll.
(Example: 6d10 rolls: 1, 4, 6, 6, 6, 8. Juggernaut active during Hours 1, 4, 6, and 8. At hour 6 it is accompanied by two Custodians.)

If Juggernaut is Inactive: The end of the hall (statue icon on map) is completely filled by the Custodial Juggernaut. Those who attack, approach within 10 ft, or otherwise interact with the inactive Juggernaut will Activate it.

If Juggernaut is Active: The end of the hall is empty. The metal along the floors and walls are hot. Various valves and open-ended pipes are exposed on the eastern end. If these are severely inhibited the Custodial Juggernaut will be inanimate for 1 Day (a Custodian will come and fix it within 1 Day’s time), during which remove it from the Wandering Encounters table.

TREASURE: One of the pipe fittings is made to interface with the Juggernaut is composed of solid platinum: 800gp. A different pipe fitting for a similar purpose is made of silver: 150gp. Both fittings are fused to the metal pipework, requiring one to get through 1 inch of solid steel to release.

Custodial Juggernaut
AC Plate + Shield (Front), Chain (Rear)   HD 8   HP 50  Half Human Speed
3d12 Crush
Big: Occupies a 10x10ft space, wall to wall.
Slow: Disadvantage on Initiative.
Steam Roller: Attacks by occupying same space as opponents. When moving into opponent space makes one attack against each opponent within.
Construct Immunities