Thursday, April 1, 2021

Tom Generator

This is not an April Fool's post.

The abundance of sexy male drow concubines in my Tidelock campaign has necessitated a table. For shorthand, a sexy male drow concubine is known as a Tom. (e.g. "House Xynyx's lounge presently has four Toms.")

This is the vibe right here.

SEXY DROW CONCUBINE TABLE

d10

Name

Body Type

Accessory #1

Accessory #2

Secret Power

1

Nail

Windy willow branch

Live spider earrings

Luminescent body oil

Stringed instrument which resonates with the hearts of the infatuated

2

Xylem

Marathon milk swimmer

Occultum nose piercings

A reeeeeeally big guisarme

Poison skin secretions

3

Crow

Alpha stallion

Halo of live bees

Codpiece with a king’s ransom of studded jewels

Spell: Limbs to snakes

4

Midnight

Grass-fed organic beef filet mignon

Tattoos - all chosen by mother

Multi-tailed wig made of  braided dwarf chin scalps

Spell: Hands to Spiders

5

Adze

Hypofemme cosmic angel

Veil of sweet-scented silk

Black glass contact lenses

Eye contact initiates Charm spell

6

President

Ambiguous Androsuccubus

Rings rings rings - head to toe

Belly button replaced by strange lock

Holds breath indefinitely, sneaky

7

Outcross

Pillar Man

Full body snake scale suit

Glass harp that produces angelic boys’ choir voices

Can pull poison daggers out of thin air

8

Allemain

Muscle senpai

Snake whip

Piping hot tea pot

Can hide anything smaller than a softball on their body.

9

Ruthful

Disco alien

Neon braided hair to the floor and back

Bull’s horns prosthetic

Venomous scorpion stinger tongue

10

Clithrid

Perfect triangle

Obsidian mohawk

Giant boa constrictor with skull scale patterns

Retractable venomous heel spurs


5 comments:

  1. Also Tom of Finland, hence the name. But most of those are NSFW, and this is a pretty SFW blog, sadly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought it was like "tomcat".

      Delete
    2. Nope, definitely leather daddies.

      Delete
  2. Really loving all the Twilight City/Drow stuff. This table is hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am here for more drow weirdness and all in on calling them tom cats

    ReplyDelete