This is not an April Fool's post.
The abundance of sexy male drow concubines in my Tidelock campaign has necessitated a table. For shorthand, a sexy male drow concubine is known as a Tom. (e.g. "House Xynyx's lounge presently has four Toms.")
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This is the vibe right here.
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SEXY DROW CONCUBINE TABLE
d10 | Name | Body Type | Accessory #1 | Accessory #2 | Secret Power |
1 | Nail | Windy willow branch | Live spider earrings | Luminescent body oil | Stringed instrument which resonates with the hearts of the infatuated |
2 | Xylem | Marathon milk swimmer | Occultum nose piercings | A reeeeeeally big guisarme | Poison skin secretions |
3 | Crow | Alpha stallion | Halo of live bees | Codpiece with a king’s ransom of studded jewels | Spell: Limbs to snakes |
4 | Midnight | Grass-fed organic beef filet mignon | Tattoos - all chosen by mother | Multi-tailed wig made of braided dwarf chin scalps | Spell: Hands to Spiders |
5 | Adze | Hypofemme cosmic angel | Veil of sweet-scented silk | Black glass contact lenses | Eye contact initiates Charm spell |
6 | President | Ambiguous Androsuccubus | Rings rings rings - head to toe | Belly button replaced by strange lock | Holds breath indefinitely, sneaky |
7 | Outcross | Pillar Man | Full body snake scale suit | Glass harp that produces angelic boys’ choir voices | Can pull poison daggers out of thin air |
8 | Allemain | Muscle senpai | Snake whip | Piping hot tea pot | Can hide anything smaller than a softball on their body. |
9 | Ruthful | Disco alien | Neon braided hair to the floor and back | Bull’s horns prosthetic | Venomous scorpion stinger tongue |
10 | Clithrid | Perfect triangle | Obsidian mohawk | Giant boa constrictor with skull scale patterns | Retractable venomous heel spurs |
Also Tom of Finland, hence the name. But most of those are NSFW, and this is a pretty SFW blog, sadly.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was like "tomcat".
DeleteNope, definitely leather daddies.
DeleteReally loving all the Twilight City/Drow stuff. This table is hilarious
ReplyDeleteI am here for more drow weirdness and all in on calling them tom cats
ReplyDelete