Monday, January 13, 2020

The Krill Shop

Check out Wizard City Hexcrawl, which I shall be updating retroactively with links as I generate tables.
Source
Krill comes in big pink blocks of ground paste or dubious slurries to be sold to the whales. It is the cheapest of cheap food that isn’t purely conjured, and unlike natural krill it has virtually no nutritional value. There is a 2% chance that this batch is only partially transmuted, and a 1% chance that it will revert back to its original form once eaten.


The Krill Shop will buy literally anything if it’s in a high enough volume and can be poured from a bucket. The only catch it that is must be relatively uniform. (Whole bodies wouldn’t work, but buckets of blood would. Then again, you could sell blood for more at Intravenous Solutions…)

Stuff can be sold to the shop for 1 Spellgold per 10 buckets.
5 buckets of transmuted krill can be bought for 1 Spellgold.

d20
Today’s Krill is Transmuted From...
And It Tastes Like...
1
Food Scraps
Ultra-cheap vegetarian sausage.
2
Nuts and Bolts
Sucking on a rusty razor.
3
Teeth
Spit rocks.
4
Sand
Sand, too.
5
Wand Wood Scrapings
Pop rocks made of sawdust.
6
Ground Concrete
Broken teeth and walnut shells.
7
Hobo Clothes
You’re about to get a serious addiction just by being around it.
8
Poop, Miscellaneous
Chocolate!... Just kidding, it tastes like a shit sandwich.
9
Toxic Salts
What aspartame is to sugar, this is to fish taste.
10
Beached Whale Fat
Sadness, and Lard.
11
Fermentation Byproduct
Surprisingly okay. Like only moderately moldy bread.
12
Chunky Sewer Drainage
What you’re pretty sure cancer tastes like.
13
Grass
Licking lawnmower blades.
14
Ground Fish Bones
Grasshoppers, but nothing but crunch and half the flavor.
15
Bugs
Tasty tasty protein.
16
Hair
A Baboon’s Behind
17
Ash
Guzzling liquid smoke.
18
Roof Tiling
Excessively cordial relations with a man made of tar.
19
Dissertation Drafts
Someone’s never going to graduate.
20
Defunct Krill
Cobbling together scraps of fly-infested Big Mac.

This krill ain’t meant for humans. Anytime you want to eat one of these, provided you aren’t a Whale or a Whale Priest or a Whale Wizard or whatever, then you must make a Constitution check or vomit it all up. The only humans desperate enough to eat transmuted krill are students.

Whales can survive on these long term, but it’s kinda like eating bread cut with sawdust. A bad transmutation can be potentially fatal, too. If you want to court the Whales, you're better off importing the real thing.


Who's Manning the Krill Shop? (1d4)

1. Sergei - You could only wish this guy had the overwhelming scent of fish guts.
2. Andy - Not authorized to do business. Not authorized to leave his post at the counter.
3. Svetlana - Generous. Offers the failed transmutations, like a baker's dozen.
4. Bilbo - The manager. Secret transmuting forger. Occasionally man's the counter to distract from his real work.

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