Thursday, September 26, 2019

Under Gallax Hall 24-34

Under Gallax Hall - Level 1 - Basement
Made on Gridmapper by Alex Schroeder

Random Lectures
(Use these during appropriate time slots)

The Wizard Anatomy: Lymphatic System
Gubber - gnomish, excited, actually a good teacher.
“ALWAYS make sure to cannibalize your colleagues lymph nodes to acquire their spell immunity!”
Overly eager undergraduate students following the lecture (at hour’s conclusion). A pack of 2d6 of them wanting to eat lymph nodes.
Political Science: Enchantment and Power
Thorax - subtly manipulative, dressed to become governor, no morals.
“And when SOMEBODY decides to interrupt your lecture, you can do this!”
Professor will attempt to Charm noisy guests to come to center stage and perform like a monkey for an hour.
Alchemy: Tongues, Eyes, and Noses
Glassgoi - Droning, deadpan-faced, unclean.
“So! Do I have a volunteer?” (holding a bloody knife)
Professor will cut off the tongue, eyes, or nose of the ‘volunteer’.
Torture: Simple, Physical Methods
Dr. Klaus - every German doctor stereotype ever.
“You’ll vitness a cracking sound, right about now…”
None, except if you’re on ‘academic probation’, like that poor soul presently stretched on the rack.
Conjuring Carbohydrates
Ninny - incomprehensible, dead inside, literally a zombie??
“So, yes… That is why most food you eat is formed out of very small chairs.”
None, unless you decide to consume some of the ‘demonstration carbohydrates’, in which case, Save vs. Poison or 40% chance of slow and painful death over 1d8 days.
Poisons: Snakes!
Dr. Braum - way too enthusiastic about sadism, prone to pranks, dressed like a happy academic (terribly). 
“And now, if you would all reach under your chairs…”
Snakes under the chairs. There’s a pop quiz! Formulate the antidote, or die!
Anti-Gravity Spellcraft
Mummin - armchair authoritarian, purveyor of corporal punishment, a sad little man.
“Ah! Another latecomer, I see!”
Arriving at any time other than right on the beginning hour results in tripping reverse-gravity spell and floating towards the ceiling for an hour.
Binding the Murder Demon
Grover - graduate conjurer, failed multiple exams but still around somehow, pleasant on the eyes.
“Steady…. Steady… One tiny mistake could mean certain death for us all.”
Entire class is binding a horrible spiny spiky flaming-eyed murder demon. Everyone is petrified with fear, except the professor. Even a minor disruption will release the demon and begin a bloodbath.
Feeding Familiars
Xynox - Freakin’ loves pets, will kill for the cute things, doesn’t mind interruptions.
“Now, if everyone will take our their still-beating human hearts, I’ll demonstrate the proper feeding technique.”
That Guy forgot his still-beating human heart today. Asks if he can borrow yours. If yes, then kali-ma into your chest and pull it out. If no, then he’ll really press the issue (his grades will suffer, he’ll look like an idiot, you don’t really need it, etc.)
*Loud Screaming*
You think it’s actually just a homeless man?
It’s loud. Really loud. Why are people here? Do they think this mad homeless man is a professor? Is he a professor??? Probably.

24. 'Mr. Alabaster' Auditorium - B14, B16, B18
   2-3: Custodian    3-4: Random Lecture   4-6: Empty 
   6-7: Random Lecture   7-8: Empty   8-9: Random Lecture   9-2: Empty

Rich Mr. Alabaster, so rich and so generous, donated a most uncomfortable auditorium to the university - every chair, desk, and table is made from alabaster. His vainglorious name is plastered everywhere about the auditorium on bronze plagues. It can seat 500 students. Vertically-rotating chalkboards and a podium at the front.

TREASURE: Each chair (500 total), table (4), and desk (2) looks like expensive alabaster, but is in fact a cheap coating over rock. Looks like it'd be worth 50gp per chair, but is in fact 0.5gp per chair.

Each of the three main entrances/exits has a different room number, because Mr. Alabaster thought it deserved it as such.

TRAP: There are 3 visible chalkboards. A 4th and 5th are hidden behind the others. One can pull a chain to rotate them around. On the 4th there is a trapped memetic-triggered rune circle. Those who look into it become mesmerized and stupefied until removed from the room.

SECRET:  On the 5th is the template for the spell Unseeming. It has been partially erased. Three successive INT checks required to complete it.

25. Backstage - B14, B16, B18
   2-3: Custodian    3-4: Random Lecture   4-6: Empty 
   6-7: Random Lecture   7-8: Empty   8-9: Random Lecture   9-2: Empty

Note: Lectures occupy Room 24, and people from it rarely come backstage.

Three levers on the wall behind the stage: one red, one yellow, and one black. All will be in the 'up' position by default. Positions may be 'up', 'midway', or 'down'.

Normal Lights
Furious Fugue. Those effected focus furiously on the subject of their attention, ignoring all distractions (no matter how perilous).
Stage Lights Only
Random Death Rays. Each Round 1 in 6 chance of being hit. Save vs. Death or die.
Auditorium Lights

26. Mr. Alabaster Statue
10-1: Empty   1-10: Alabaster Cat

A most boring alabaster statue of an old balding man in a suit.

Engraved on the podium below: "In Memory of Mr. Alabaster - Generous Philanthropist, Capitalist Among Wizards, Bane of Cats."

For nine hours of the day, 1 o'clock until 10 o'clock, an alabaster-white cat lies peacefully curled up at the feet of the statue. During these hours it is composed of stone. At 10 o'clock, however, the cat animates and walks through the western secret wall, which becomes illusory at this time. It heads down the broken-support-laden pit to Level 4 - Forgotten Monastery, for feeding time.

27. Empty Room - B22
   3-4: Custodian    4-8: Empty   8-9: Random Lecture   9-3: Empty

There is absolutely nothing in this room. Not a single thing. Not even a mote of dust.

28. Student Lockers - B21
   1-3: Empty  3-4: Custodian    4-5: Empty   5-7: Steward, He'll fucking kill you! 
   7-10: Empty    10-1: 1% Chance Unveiling Eye Secret Meeting 

36 lockers in three rows. Four are noteworthy:

1. Lock with Key is Small Mimic: Three valuable textbooks within (1d4 x 25gp each), and paper note: "To Whom It May Concern, I'll fucking kill you, book thief! - Steward "

Steward, Senior Undergrad: 
AC Leather HD 4 HP 16  1d6 Sharp Knife  Spells: Locate Object, Fireball, Burning Hands.

2. Combination Lock Magic Vacuum Trap: presents numbers 1-100. Whatever number the lock is turned to is the number you'll need to roll on or above on percentile to avoid being compacted into the locker once it's opened. Two ultra-compacted dead students and 16gp are super-compressed inside.

3. Unmarked Locker, Magic Mouth: Touch the locker door, and Mouth appears: "Why do we clean?" Password: "That there should be more filth.". Fail: the locker will be empty and Mouth will not appear again for 10 Hours. Succeed: the locker's contents are revealed: a bullseye lantern, 2 pints of Ghost Oil (light produced Turns ghosts without fail), and a complete map of The Steam Tunnels (Level 2).

4. Bank Teller Graffiti, Deposit Box: cartoon of sublime bank teller graffiti'd onto locker door. Coin slot requires 1gp. Every person who opens locker door accesses extradimensional safe deposit box unique to that person.

For  those that don't appear noteworthy, roll 1d6:
1. Empty, Clean
2. Empty, Dusty
3. Empty, Smells Musky
4. Empty, Smells Gross
5. A single low-value coin frustratingly wedged into a crevice of the locker.
6. Article of clothing: (1.Sock  2. Shirt  3. Pants  4. Robes  5. Underwear  6. Glasses)

29. Wall of Gazing Guys, Classroom - B24
   4-5: Custodian    5-6: Random Lecture   6-9: Empty   9-10: Random Lecture   10-4: Empty

Typical classroom layout: chairs, teacher's desk at front, etc.

Entire north wall is covered, floor to ceiling, in mini-portraits of unnamed stern-looking people. Their eyes follow everyone in the room. They watch your every action unceasingly.

30. Water Fountain
   4-5: Custodian    5-4: Empty

Double chance of Wandering Encounter. They'll be taking a drink.

Low-power water fountain. Has enough juice to pump out three mouthfuls of water per day. Roll for what servings those are, adding +1 for each serving already given.

1d4, +1 per Attempt:
1. Poison, Odorless, Tastes like Burning. Induce vomiting or Save vs. Poison to avoid death in 1 hour.
2. Poison, Metallic Scent, Rusty Appearance. Lethal amounts of lead.
3. Dirty, Gross. Tastes awful.
4. Metal-Tasting Water. Potable, but bleh.
5. Clear, Semi-Fresh. Heals 1d4 damage.
6. Crystal Clear, Quenching. Heals 1d6 damage, and sustains drinker of food/water for 1 day.

31. Secret Behind Unicorn StatueB23
 1% chance upon entry of Unveiling Eye meeting in progress

A stone Unicorn-in-gallop statue sits in an alcove. On the Unicorn's backside, hidden from view unless one squeezes behind it, is a note carefully penned in ink: "The Unicorn flees the Gazing Hand of Authority."

SEARCH: Track marks going from the base of behind the statue, going into the eastern alcove wall, which appears loosely cobbled and the bricks may be removed to reveal a crawlspace.

SECRET: If the statue of Zarlor is pointed towards the East, the Unicorn statue may be pushed back five feet to the east, demolishing the bricked-up entrance to the secret room with a hoof. (This wall is reconstructed after every secret meeting.)

The room is dark. Lounge furniture under dusty covers. Cobwebs over every corner. Evidence of magic circles and spells of nondetection littered throughout the room (worth 2d4 x 100gp in reagents) - goat horns, cat claws, colored candles, wax.

A Magic Pentagram lies traced in the dust, along with footprints circling it. In its middle is an issue of The Unveiling Eye, titled: "Statues". This Magic Circle is warded against People of Authority (Administrators, Police, Professors, etc.), and if any part of such a person crosses the threshold of the circle, then the Issue will instantly burst into flames, rendered unreadable.

TREASURE: Unveiling Eye - Statues: Details suspicions and rumors about various statues around campus.
1. Every statue is made and placed at a particular spot for a reason.
2. During certain hours particular statues will walk around. This is known to be true for the Lions in the Library and the Founder Statue, for certain.
3. Statues are associated with secrets.

If the Unveiling Eye is meeting, then 2d4 students dressed in navy blue robes detailed in white lidless eyes will be chanting old words around the magic circle, then continue their meeting discussing various Cults and mysteries around campus. They will welcome newcomers, with robes to spare, if they're inclined and no authority figures are present. They will not reveal their identities.

32. Nap Room - B25
   5-6: Custodian   6-10: Empty   10-5: Wandering Encounter

Twelve bunk-beds, all but three of which have been stripped down to their frames. Those that aren't are uncomfortable and itchy, but they're free. The walls are soundproof, and things come here to nap. A Custodian comes and cleans at 5 o'clock, waking and scaring anything out of the room.

33. Library of Anthropology - B27
   6-7: Custodian   7-10: Empty   10-6: 1d4 Anthropology Students, and a Librarian who shows up to 5 minutes then leaves

Those poor Anthropology majors. Their department has no funding, so their library is here, in the stomach of Gallax Hall. You can hear screaming resonating through the southern wall. It sucks being next to the Department of Torture. If only they had that kind of funding...

Rows of poorly-maintained shelves containing a few dozen (4d12) books on Anthropology (worth 1-5gp each). A librarian desk manned for 5 minutes a day. The books cannot be removed without a Librarian's Stamp - they'd dematerialize and reappear back on the shelves.

TREASURE: Each book (1d6x5gp) has a special rune that causes this dematerialization hidden somewhere in it. It looks kinda like an mini-elephant. Tear it out of the book, and the security system won't affect it.


  1. You're really putting the "fun" into this "funhouse dungeon"! I particularly like the lectures, and the gradual cleansing of the pipes leading to the water fountain.

    1. It turns out that there's enough weird lore related to universities that everything and the kitchen sink can fit under its thematic umbrella.

    2. The gonzo-ness of this place is reminding me, in a good way, of "Anomalous Subsurface Environment".

    3. Man-o-man I enjoyed ASE. Never run more than its intro adventure, but it's remained a big inspiration nevertheless. Definitely borrowed some of its humor, what with the propensity of psychopathic academics.