Monday, March 22, 2021

What Hath Captain Meth Cook Cooked Up?

The Tidelock party has had a drug cook in their basement for the longest time and I was never really sure how to roleplay him until a few weeks ago when off the cuff I decided he should be like a old sea captain.

YARRR!
(From The Lighthouse)

Sir Morgan Bacardi Kraken Havana Appleton is cooking up some drugs!

He will always sample them before offering.

d10

Drug Appearance

Arrrr! It’ll...

Side Effects May Include...

And...

1

A fine white powder.

Turn yer eyes inside out, so ye can see the insides of yer skull!

Hydrocephalus

Anarchistic Thought

2

Small yellow crystal like a kidney stone.

Give ye visions of yer own dying rotten putrescence!

Teething

Religious Disjunction

3

White powder with a little bit of blood in it.

Give ye the pep ye need to get that promotion!

Blindness

Hallucinations About Spiders

4

Clear liquid coated on a rusty nail.

Straighten ye out like a fine razor!

Lockjaw

Kidney Failure

5

Orange liquid slurped from a lit lantern.

Put hair on yer armpits! An’ gusto in yer gizzard!

Orbital Bleeding

Thalassophobia

6

Rubbery thing jammed up nose.

Make yer hair fall out!

Hair Loss

Doing Philosophy

7

Wrinkly black moldy chunk.

Make ye smooth like a baby’s bottom!

Cyanosis

Impotency

8

Neon yellow syringe

Shine a great an’ terrible light in the darkest pits o’ yer soul!

Gout

Craving for Human Flesh

9

Glowing rock

Bequeath ye the stomach to digest even the hardest o’ bones!

Dysentery

Stockholm Syndrome

10

It’s a fish knife. Why?

Spill yer beans like a blubberin’ boy nary a day separate from his mum!

Jaundice

Nostalgia

5 comments:

  1. The immediate and important question my players asked: "Who the hell knighted this guy??"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I assume this means he accepts peerage and other non-monetary valuables in lieu of cash. And, as a corollary, that there's someone running around who used to be a knight who traded their title to feed their drug habit.

      Delete
  2. Aaaar! Perfect for Talk Like a Pirate Day, ye scurvy dog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll need to expand on this in September then!

      Delete