Saturday, January 16, 2021

The Old Courthouse

 A landmark of the slums of Wizard City, the Old Courthouse is a broken monument to the bygone era of justice and equity. It was the site of The Last Jury Trial of Wizard City, and since the implementation of the Secret Police has fallen into disrepair and disregard.

Since its abandonment, it has become a home for disaffected youth and a mecca for the orphans of wizard couplings. These orphans have a special relationship with magic, inherent to the transgenerational legacy of stuffing weird spells in one's brain. A number of developmental issues tend to emerge, including various degrees of preemptive brain maturation, enigmatic growth spurts, mutanous osteogenesis. and elevated frequency of Tower Syndrome.

The Courthouse is not without its institutions, however. It is the primary hangout of the Dirty Rascals - the children's criminal gang led by the ruthless 12-year old Sam (see epithets below). It is also the site of The Rascals' Court, in which disputes among wizard children are settled since none of them can get justice or recompense from the Secret Police or the Suit Courts without an adult.

These children, though never having seen any real court proceedings, have still ended up emulating it within their own orphan-gang society. It's not uncommon for issues among the children to be taken to The Rascals Court, presided over by the Girl Who Knows All The Rules - Sam (also known as 'Her Horror', 'Sam Wham', and 'Big Mean Gavel Girl'). Trials and hearing go about much how one is accustomed in a soap opera crime drama: with virtually no pretrial arrangements such as discovery and disposition, with a superabundance of surprise witnesses, and with absolutely no restrictions on entering the well.

The Jury is composed of fellow orphans (or if the guilty party is an adult, abducted people from the nearby neighborhood). The Court Reporter is typically the youngest member of the gang (and is just learning how to spell). The Bailiff is an eleven year old child's brain inside of a two-ton XK-9000 Bruiser Mo-RON battlesuit. The Prosecutor is always prepared.



Their Nickname Is...

Their Parents Were...

Someone Wants Them For...

Their Sole Possession Is A(n)...



Two secret police persons, who have no idea who each other or the child are.

Repeatedly insulting their religion.

Pair of oversized shoes.



The trophy wife of a powerful businessman and a guy who sells shampoo door to door.

Being a gambling cheater prodigy.

Spell that conjures small throwable rocks into their hands.



Indefinitely jailed for violation of hat dress codes.

Burning down a street food stall.

Heirloom scabbard that is one half to a legendary sword.



Wizard furries.

Being in the wrong time at the wrong place.

Flash Bomb.



Really more interested in getting a dog instead.

Stealing a critical component of a doomsday weapon.

Snowglobe that is actually a scrying device for an important governmental building.



Obliterated in a timeline paradox of their own creation.

Being witness to a quintuple homicide.

Picture of their loving parents with a strange shadowy figure in the background.



Steeve. This clone came out a little undercooked.

Their beautiful flowing hair, which some rich heiress intends to scalp and make a wig out of.

Old rusty trumpet.


Jules McKinley IV

Killed violently and dramatically by a cruel villain, fueling a lust for vengeance that will no doubt resolve itself dramatically.

Being the long lost heir and sole survivor to a tremendous fortune and/or royal dynasty.

Strange die with 13 congruent sides.



International spies executed for their role in smuggling industrial espionage.

Making a pastry made of children.

Cool-looking scar that glows in the dark.


Killy Kill

Ghosts, somehow...

A very delicate task that requires tiny tiny childrens’ hands.

A pet alligator that snarls at liars.


Lil’ Red

Slain by the orphan’s own hands.

Their blood! It holds the cure to a plague from the future!

‘Broken’ pocketwatch which ticks when danger’s nearby.



A college student and a professor in the Venoms Department..

The dimensions of their body, which would make the perfect doorstop for their foyer.

Mean Attitude

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