Esoteric Enterprises - Car as Class

Welcome to the Esoteric Enterprises bandwagon!

Dan made a good point on Twitter the other day - In modern-style games, it shall be a given that somebody has access to a car for the benefit of the party. The Car is now a given.

But I ask you to consider taking this one step further! Ask yourself: Do I simply want a machine that spirits me and my weirdo friends from A to B? Or do I require a portable reliquary to provide worship to Ithaqua... with the best climate control an Old One can provide!

Consider: The Car as a public party member. Like a two tonne steel pet. With leather seats.

Roll up Stats for The Car.

3d6 in order, no rearrangement.

Though blessed we are with our bodies and minds to decide 

for ourselves a profession befitting our talents,

our Cars receive no such grace.

STRENGTH = HORSEPOWER

How strong your engine?!

Use Strength when:

• towing
• traveling through heavy mud 
• ramming another fucking car
• ramming the men in black
• ramming big heavy monsters
• calculating carry weight

Obviously, Cars are way stronger than people. You only need to do a Strength check for a Car when it's questionable whether a car could push or pull it.

DEXTERITY = HANDLING

How precise this thing handle?!

Use Dexterity when:

• Driving checks
• hitting pedestrians

Represents a bonus or penalty to Driving checks. If your Car is haunted or otherwise self-driving, then this is how well it drives itself.

CONSTITUTION = DURABILITY

How long it last?!

Use Constitution when:

• driving long distances
• driving in choking conditions (excessive cold/heat, low oxygen, etc.)
• getting the most of that last scrap of fuel
• Car diseases and poisons (water in the gas tank, supernatural rust, thermite burns through the hull.)

Represents how robust the entire apparatus is when you're definitely violating the warranty.

INTELLIGENCE = FEATURES

Does it have radio?! Air conditioning?! Leather seats?! 

Air bags?! Consecrated Altars to the Drowned One?!

Use Intelligence when:

• determining how many starting Features The Car has.
• determining the maximum number of Features

Starting Features are 5 + INT Mod.

Features follow Encumbrance rules, except it represents running out of space instead of ambulatory power.

WISDOM = MILEAGE / FAITH

Have all the kinks and quirks been worked out?!

Use Wisdom when:

• praying to the Car gods
• starting your car in a hurry
• fixing your car
• Saves

Add your Car's Wisdom Mod to all of its Saves.

Source

CHARISMA = BEAUTY

How alluring is this Car?!

Use Charisma when:

• impressing dudes with your Car, 
• impressing ladies with your Car, 
• impressing business associates and coworkers with your Car. 
• Intimidating fairies.

When you go: "Damn, that's a nice car!" It's got a good Charisma.

Grit = Size

How big, and therefore how prone to merely superficial damage your Car is. 

When it comes to Newtonian crashing, size and mass matter first.

Flesh = Body

How resilient your Car is in a Crash.

How much gives before its occupants start taking damage.

WHAT'S THE PARTY'S CAR?

d8	Grit / Flesh / Saves As	Car Class	Seats	Effects
1	Bodyguard	Pickup	2 + 8 Seats	+1 STR, Trailer Bed.
2	Criminal	Sedan	5 Seats	+1 DEX
3	Doctor	Mini Van	7 Seats	+1 INT
4	Explorer	Sports Utility Vehicle	5 Seats	-1 DEX (You have nice Saves)
5	Mercenary	Humvee	4 + 1 Seats	+2 STR, Max Speed 75% of normal.
6	Mystic	Sports Car	4 Seats	+1 DEX, +1 CHA, Costs Double
7	Occultist	Van	8 + 3 Seats	+3 Size, -2 CHA, 1 Weird Feature
8	Spook	Truck Tractor	2 + ??? Seats	-3 DEX, +4 Size. Special Feature

d12	Manufacturer	Reputation	Effects
1	Akira	Excellent psychic projection and feng shui.  Bad handling.	Psychic abilities operate at +2 Bonus when in the car. -1 DEX
2	Abraham	Real classic look.  Feels like it was made for minimalist giants.	+1 CON, -1 INT
3	Borsche	Cheap Eastern Bloc Crap. The seats always smell like beets. Hasn’t changed a single thing in fifty years.	+1 WIS, -1 DEX
4	Bent	Body warps with time. Often in unexpected ways.	-1 WIS, +1d4 damage absorbed during Crashes.
5	Brick	Tough as nails. Ugly though.	+1 CON, -1 CHA
6	Fjord	Cheap crap mass produced. Dirt is more expensive than the parts, though.	Initial cost and repairs are halved. -1 to all stats.
7	Fonda	The standard brand of soccer moms.	None
8	General Goat	“Greatest of All Time my ass!”	+1 STR, -2 WIS
9	Millipede	Designed for towing. Only runs on diesel.	+1 STR, Fuel costs +50%
10	Moon Rover	Great suspension. Poor handling.	+1 CON, -1 DEX
11	Panther	A luxury brand for huge douchebags. Notorious for getting stolen.	+1 DEX, +1 CHA, 5% Chance during or after any adventure that it gets jacked.
12	Venus	You see a lot of these in remote places.	-1 STR, Charm checks made at +2 while inside.

Truck Tractor Special Features

Ambulance - Useful medical equipment and EMTs not included.
Bus - Tons and tons of uncomfortable seats.

Camper - Contains several camping amenities: cots, toilet, water container.

Cement Mixer - When you need to hide the bodies quickly.

Food Truck - Able to prepare food inside. Contains working propane-powered gas stove, refrigerator and freezer.

Garbage Truck - Got the cruncher and everything.

Semi Trailer - A whole lot of mobile storage room. Takes up a lot of space though.

Tank Truck - For carrying huge volumes of liquid.

Tractor - Tons of Strength. Low max speed.

Car Features

Features	Effect	Rare/Light?
Air Bags	Prevents 1d6 damage in case of a Crash.
Air Conditioning	Provides heat removal in your car.
Alarm	If broken into the alarm will go off.	Light
Anti-lock Braking System	Driving checks involving braking at +1.	Light
Child Locks	Driver can prevent passenger doors from opening.
Dash Cam	Records a view of the dash while driving. Functionally CCTV.
Divider	Separates the Driver and Passenger Front from the Passenger Rear. Window optional.
Fare Meter	Tracks how far you’ve gone and how much it’ll cost.
Flood Lights	Provides great amounts of illumination to the car’s front.
Four Wheel Drive	Driving checks involving difficult terrain at +1.	Light
GPS / Navigation	Gives moderately accurate readout of global position. Can provide directions to known places.
Heating System	Provides heat in your car.
Hydraulic Jack	For lifting up your car. Essentially required for certain repairs and tires changes in the field.
Leather Seats	+1 to CHA mod	Light
Motion Sensors	Detects things approaching from the front and rear with a beeping sound.	Light
Radio	Put on some tunes. Listen to news.
Radio (Police)	Listen to police radio.	Rare
Seat Belts	Prevents 2d6 damage in case of a Crash.	Light
Siren	Makes a really loud noise. Usually causes other cars to get out of your way.
Spare Tire	Replacement tire.
Sunroof	Great for 360-degree driving and gunning.	Light
Trailer Winch	Towing checks made at +1. Failures will not produced disasters.
Toll Tag	Allows one to skip toll booths without being ticketed	Light
Vehicle Insurance	Crappy insurance. At least you won’t get fined for not having it. Covers 20% of repair expenses. Once.	Light
Vehicle Insurance (Actually Decent)	Decent insurance. Covers 80% of repair expenses.	Light
Voice Activation	Can activate cars other mundane features with voice command.	Light
Warranty	Natural car problems will be fixed by the Dealer. Obviously does not cover bullet wounds.	Light

Weird Car Features

Weird Features	Effect	Rare/Light?
Altar	You may perform sacraments to your gods. Takes up 2 Seats.	Rare
Armor	All occupants in car get AC as Bulletproof Vest against ballistic attacks.	Rare
Armor (Heavy)	All occupants in car get AC as Riot Gear against ballistic attacks.	Rare
Assassination Module	Executes anyone sitting in the back seats. Button-activated. Common methods include: hidden gun, spring-loaded wooden stakes, crushing trap.	Rare
Cage	For creeps and serial killers.
Decontamination	Baths the interior with several forms of radiation to eliminate microscopic biologicals.	Rare
Ejection Seat	Launches the Driver up into the air while deploying parachutes. For quick escapes.	Rare
Gas Chamber	Fills the car with chosen compressed gas. Typically used with a Divider to only affect back seat.	Rare
Hood Ornament	Used to ward the Car against supernatural interference. Functions as a Holy Symbol.
Magic Circle	As per the Spell. Keeps in or out particular kinds of supernatural outsiders. Formed of steel in the car’s frame.	Rare
Mortar	When you need to shoot n’ scoot. Requires special and very expensive rare ammunition.	Rare
Mounted Machine Gun	.50 Caliber Machine Gun on a swivel. Capable of some serious mobile damage. Requires special rare ammunition.	Rare
Radio (Supernatural)	Converts supernatural and/or magical radiation into noise that plays through the speakers. Can pick up ghost chatter.	Rare
Self-Driving Module	This car can drive itself. A spirit has been bound to the vehicle. Highly imperfect, particularly regarding pedestrians.	Rare
Shrine	You can efficiently pray to your horrible gods. Takes up 1 Seat.
Ultraviolet Headlights	Burns Vampies. Lightly sterilizes area with prolonged exposure.	Rare

CRASHING

During a Crash, all occupants of the involved vehicles take damage only after a Car’s Size and Body Hit Points have been depleted first. The total damage of a Crash accords to the total net speed of the incident, following any rules for Fall Damage you’ve got. Every 10 mph = 10 feet of fall damage. (And we’re using MPH, ‘cause THIS IS AMERICA.)

If I were you, I’d do very rough calculations for the speed at impact. Don’t break out the vector trigonometry unless you really get off on impressing your party with MATH.

Examples:

The Car slams into a brick wall at 70mph. It comes to a complete stop. This causes 7d6 damage during the Crash. The present vehicle has 4 Size and 3 Body. Everyone has Seatbelts and Airbags (reducing personal damage by 3d6). The Crash causes 25 damage. The Vehicle is totaled (losing all of its Size and Body). Everyone in the vehicle takes 18 damage, reducing their personal damage by 3d6. Lucky Billy only takes 6 damage, and survives. Unlucky Theodore takes 13 damage, and bites the dust.

The Car slams into another Car in a head-on collision. Both were going 20mph in opposite directions. We add their total speeds to produce 40mph (4d6) of damage for both cars. One is a microcar with 1 Size and 2 Body. One is a city Buss with 8 Size and 4 Body. Nobody has seat belts or airbags. The microcar takes 8 damage, while the bus takes 12. Everyone in the microcar takes 5 damage, while everyone in the bus takes no damage. Both cars are totaled.

Alex Schroeder's Campaign Questions

I have, in fact, been running my campaign for a while, so I'll offer some reflections for Alex S's recent inquiry. We play 5e D&D.

How many sessions have you been playing, more or less?
Give or take 70.

How long have you been running this campaign?
Since October 2015.

Have you had long breaks? If so, how did you pick it up again?
There was one or two points around the 1 year and 2 year marks where we didn't play in at least a month.

How many people are at the table when you play?
Between 3-6. Averages 4.

How many characters are in the party when you play?
Each player controls 2 characters, but only plays one at a time. This was due to some shenanigans I'll explain later.

How many players have you had in total over that time period, not counting guest appearances?
11. Of the initial 4 who I began with, 1 remains in full and 1 remains part time.

About two years in, due to lack of activity I decided to revamp the campaign and begin a second play group made of entirely new people acting simultaneously within the campaign world. Eventually, as numbers dwindled, I combined the two groups again into one.

Have you had guest appearances? How did it go? Did you gain regular players that way?
Sometimes we'd have one of my siblings make a guest appearance, or had someone's husband show up. It went pretty fine. Usually they were quite impressed with how I ran things.

What have the character levels been over time?
Levels 1-13. Rapidly progressed over the first two years until level 11. Then, when the second group was formed, I brought peoples' levels down to be closer to newcomers. They've steadily crept up and equalized until they're now at 13.

What classes did the players pick? Did you add new classes over time?
We've had everything at one point or another except a Sorcerer. We added the Artificer when it came out recently.

Tell me about some adventures you ran over that time that I might enjoy hearing about?
I think my best one was an assassination plot against the party. I used one of Arnold K's d6 Assassins, Wizened Grudlow specifically. Had him announce his arrival 24 Hours ahead of time, like all good assassins do. In a metagame effect, I wrote down all of Grudlow's resources and tactics on small sheets of paper, folded them up, then put them in the middle of the table before the players even started planning their defense. I then let them prepare.

Party did some information gathering first. Found out that an Archmage they'd recently stolen from had hired the assassin. They then broke into the Bureau of Spatial and Temporal Matters, went back in time to try and alter the present, and spectacularly ensured that the assassination would occur. Grudlow, even in the past, out-foxed 'em. At least, though, they knew some more about who was coming after them.

They prepped a holdout at the Black Magic Fraternity's headquarters. Clocks placed every square meter to track Grudlow as he approached. Exploding suicidal zombies. Black Magic Brothers armed to the teeth. A Thousand Curses to be flung upon he who crossed the threshold.

Grudlow approaches. Time slows down. I'm playing that assassin theme from Kill Bill on my laptop, but distorted and reversed. I unveil Grudlow's chef strategy, placed there at the start of the session: he's going to burn the place down from the outside and watch everyone slow roast. He throws two torches in through the front door.

Suicide zombies out. Next preemptive strategy revealed: sniper on the roof. Nails the zombies, they explode on contact. Place is on fire. Party leaves through the back alley, having seen what happened to the zombies. They had Haste potions before, so they use them to escape the flames. In the back alley, they get ambushed by a shapeshifter and a trash wizard. Deal with them easy enough, despite their Haste as well.

After that, they approach the main alley where Grudlow is waiting. Monk takes a peek, avoiding a shot from the sniper. Fighter takes the next shot on a shield while the monk uses their Adjacency Glove (TM) to become adjacent to the sniper, then monk-kicks him off the roof.

Grudlow's got two lackeys with him. I reveal the next bit of paper: a hostage. He took an important employee of the party, and now he had a knife at her throat. Monk wins initiative, thinks he can save the hostage with some quick moves. As this happens, the last bit of paper gets revealed: the hostage is a disguised assassin. The monk goes from full health to dead in a single turn, shanked by a poison blade and cut to pieces by Grudlow.

Then begins the chase. During which, the lackeys take some hits and leave before going down. Grudlow pursues to the bitter end. With his constant Slow aura he's able to keep up with the party no matter what. Three turns of the luckiest Hold Person saves in favor of the party keep Grudlow frozen while the party beats him down. Barely. Of the 4 PCs that started: one dead, one unconscious, one mutilated, and one standing.

Have the rule changes over that time? Do you maintain a house-rules document?
I do maintain a house-rules document, or rather, a couple. We began RAW, then an injury table was added, then Saving Throws for certain abilities and spells were shifted around. Then I threw out the WotC Monster Manual entirely and stuck with my homebrew.

Has the setting changed over time?
It has. Things shift around and change whenever I think of better ideas for them, or the old ideas run out of juice. A lot of my old material has been replaced. A recent example was that I entirely replaced my old Wizard City with the entirely new Wizard City that I'm writing on my blog right now, but having the city zip up in a bubble and undergo a 50 year timeskip.

How much in-game distance did the party cover, how big is the area they have visited?
They have access to an airship, but the world of Tidelock is very compressed. They've probably covered an area the size of India.

Have you used proprietary setting books? Like, could you publish your campaign or would you be in trouble if you did?
The campaign world is like... 5 campaigns worth of materials. Nearly all of them have some proprietary adventurers thrown in to fill up the gaps, but nothing that couldn't easily be excised. I'd need to change the names of my Archmages - they're a bunch of Greyhawk character names.