Under Gallax Hall - Level 4 - Monastery

"I'm challenging myself to try and write at least 1-3 rooms per day to crank this thing out in like... 3 months, maybe?"

-Me, about 5 years ago.

Been sitting on this egg for approximately the average lifespan of a ferret. Guess who just finished incubating Level 4 of their (small) megadungeon! That's right, Under Gallax Hall is getting an update.

                                                                            Level 4 - Monastery

Under Gallax Hall is a dungeon beneath a university lecture hall in Wizard City. It starts in the Basement, where abnormal wizard school lectures take place and the Department of Torture conducts research, and spans beneath that through the creepy monster-infested Steam Tunnels, and the older building beneath it. Beneath that building is an even older building - the Ruined Monastery.

Level 1 - Basement 
Level 2 - Steam Tunnels
Level 3 - Old Gallax Hall

Level 4 - Monastery

Ivory Towers

Found in the Ivory Towers hex of  Wizard City Hexcrawl

"Can you sue a god? What a ridiculous question!

...Of course you can sue a god! This is Wizard City! Anything can sue anyone. A ham sandwich can sue an Archmage if it can string enough words together into a proper sentence.

Winning, though, is another matter entirely..."

At some point, some lawyer or philosopher or bum on the street somewhere must have wondered how we started worshiping the Incorporated as 'gods'. That, by the legal and commercial traditions of the wizarding empire, a not-insubstantial portion of the populace now pledge their souls and offer their prayers to an incorporated persona known as "Ecstatia Doppeldorf Engenheimer LLC." How they offer their thoughts, their money, and their very real time, to the propagation of a entity which is, according with all official intents and purposes, a real, 110% legal, dream-holding, personality-wielding, actual property-holding... "Person".

Not a person like you or me. A person that's beyond a person. Higher-dimensional, distributed, Incorporated. Dare we say: divine? A person made of persons and places and things and dreams of shareholder value. Your flesh is their flesh, and your coworker's flesh, and the stock-holders' flesh. (Well, only a part of the stock holder's flesh that is that particular fraction of their investment portfolio, but I digress.) Their dreams are different from your dreams - and they do certainly have dreams (as established in MagnaCock II v. Archmage's Secret Police c.559)

Tenure-holding historians might argue that is was really sort of inevitable: that this was the natural conclusion for the Train of Progress chug-chug-chugging along, occasionally accosted by some bomb-throwing apes but otherwise stalwart in its inertia. That eliminating the last bits of "inefficiencies" that were holding back the potential of BUSINESS (hallowed be thy name) was inevitable as the evolution of wings... or perhaps the anus.

But does it really matter how we got here? Offer your prayers! (Your loud, verbal, very public prayers, preferably those pre-approved by your Incorporated's partnered advertising collegium!) Offer your paychecks! Sacrifice the finest fatty cow's thighs and pour libations upon the Altar of Consistent, Reliable, Quality Goods at Affordable Prices (tm). Upon the Altar of Service Your Can Trust! (tm). Upon the Altar of XOX: Cool, Refreshing, XOX... To Take the Edge Off of Life! (tm)

(...Yes, you have to say the whole name. You can't just call it Xox. It's gotta be cool and refreshing and yadda yadda yadda... You won't get that promotion, or corporate sponsorship, or Xox-Day discounts if you don't say the whole thing.)

Image: Jared Rodriguez, Truthout

Chronulus doesn't have "temples". Temples are for far less economically-developed cultures, who reserve interpreting the blemishes on animals' internal organs for primitive notions like winning battles and passing laws instead of market trends. But it does have Ivory Towers: the base of these corporate offices having big public spaces with monuments and clerical staff and places for charitable contributions offerings and advertising prayers. The Ivory Towers are the shining, pointed teeth of the city, if the whole thing was grinning like some upside-down goblin.

Incorporated Entities (I.E. if you're short on time) occupy a space somewhere between landlord, crying baby, and amoeba. They tend to start with very little personality, hungry for just about everything: money, people, market share, assets, low interest rates. They grow bigger over time. They can't die, though, only subsume. Sometimes they merge with other entities, becoming some mix of each other, like if Zeus and Poseidon went back into the womb and merged together into some super hybrid brother made of ignored HR complaints and waterfowl.

~~~~~~~

Here are the big shots, and how to read 'em.

Stock Directory Symbol: you want to find this Incorporated Entity's listing on the stock market, this is what you'll look up.

Persona: How the entity manifests in our world. Or, if you will, its logo.

Domains: 'Assets', if you prefer. Monopolies. An Incorporated Entity typically doesn't achieve a 'Domain' unless it has at least some monopolistic or duopolistic power.

Blessings: What prayer can get you.

Prayers: What the Incorporated Entity wants you to do, to get its blessings. Frequently called 'Advertising'.

~~~~~~~

XOX

Merged from Hayden Magichemical and the Clean Oxygen Company. XOX makes "XOX: cleaner than air, fresher than fresh!" That's X-OX, in case you're wondering. Oxygen gas mixed with some other trade secret goodies that make it extra extra "clean". It's a nice product affordable to anyone who can sustain an addiction, if you spend all day sniffing magitox disposal or you live by a chemical factory.

Stock Directory Symbol: XOX

Persona: A dove. What's cleaner than the idea of a dove? (The idea of a dove, you philistine!) A cloud of shiny gas. The shine on a bald man's head. Wax on marble.

Domains: Clean Air, Cleanliness, Drugs, Bleach, Decontaminants, Chlorine

Blessings: Clean Air, Euphoria, Water Breathing, Enchantment Boons, Wind Spells

Prayers Include: "XOX: cleaner than air, fresher than fresh!" - say it with gusto and preferably in front of 3 or more people or it doesn't count; "Take the edge off life: with XOX!"

C-SEC

Chronulean Security Enterprise Corporation! Who could forget you? With your bloodthirsty wizard mercenaries and cutthroat mercantilism! Who can forget the organization which crafted the robotic killing machines with demons' souls trapped inside of them, that stalk the darkest corners of the city and feed on the souls of the innocent? Who can forget those little red signs people post on their lawns, with skulls and bones, warning "BEWARE OF LETHAL AND IRONIC TRAPS! INTRUDE AT YOUR OWN RISK!"

Stock Directory Symbol: CSC

Persona: A human skull biting a wand... (Why the fuck is it always skulls with these guys?)

Domains: Security Systems, Booby Traps, Unfeeling Killing Machines, Foreign Legions.

Blessings: "Security Contract Experts" showing up like ritually summoned assassins, protection from horrible demon murder machines, conspicuously-appearing contract muscle work, trap spells

Prayers Include: various blood sacrifices done in basements, thanking your local "Peace Expert",  signing up for the subscription mail list, "C-SEC: prosperity and security"

Killer Whale

Merger created from the holding company of the King of Whale's sovereign slush fund and the waste management conglomerate Landfill-Kille LLC. Controls 55% of the city's water resources through collection, treatment, and distribution. (Another 44% controlled by the University of Chronulus.) They've even got an olympic-sized swimming pool in the lobby, for the whales.

Stock Directory Symbol: KW

Persona: A handsome whale-man hybrid holding a trash can, inexplicably sexy and short-skirted smooth-skinned HR representatives, Waves, Cloud of Mist, an oil lamp flame.

Domains: Water, Waste, Beauty, Fuel, Transmutation

Blessings: purify food and water, extending fuel use, making minor bits of trash disappear, getting a quick glow-up, fire spells

Prayers Include: (You hum a little jingle) "Killer Whaaaaaaale!", fulfilling customer satisfaction surveys, 

Locke-Key International

The jury's still out on whether these guys are part of the criminal underworld or they're legit. Extradimensional spaces are a legal grey area at best. At the highest level it's a partnership between two wizard dynasties, but on the ground they're just everybody's landlords. Better pray rent on time, or else expect your front door to scream harsh words or open up into the bottom of an extradimensional latrine.

Stock Directory Symbol: LKI

Persona: Lock and Key, Magic Mouth, a dark and stormy tower

Domains: Real estate, extradimensional portals, 

Blessings: discounts or approved delays on the rent, Knock/Hold Portal spells, 

Prayers Include: paying the rent on time, talking about how great it is to live in a Locke-Key-managed rental property, "Locke and Key, for you and me!"

Scrivener

Wizards need spells. Spells need parchment. Parchment needs skin. Five million wizards need five million wizard's worth of skin. Do you have any idea how much skin that is? Let's just say you measure it in a unit bigger than 'hectares' and smaller than 'acres'. You've heard of a pig skin, right? Well Scrivener is a proud patent owner of the 'Skin Pig'.

Stock Directory Symbol: SC

Persona: Quill and Scroll, Inverted Nike Swoosh, Dawn on the Horizon, a Muse, a very fancy signature.

Domains: Scrolls, Spells, Private Libraries, Textbooks, Cattle

Blessings: spell scroll coupons, cheaper spellbook replication, skin spells (Stoneskin, Barkskin, etc.)

Prayers Include: Donating excess, unwanted, or 'medicinally unrequired' skin to your local skin in-box (a.k.a "skin-box") - wizard skin makes the best spell book material; reporting second-hand textbook donation to your local intellectual property manager; grow your own Skin Pig!

Angel Venture LLC

This Incorporated Entity fucks. Don't get me wrong: exactly 0% of anyone working for this thing has or will ever have sexual congress. They simply do not have the time nor the energy (and most of them are either undead already or self-castrated to keep themselves focused on work). What I mean is that Angel is venture finance par-excellence. They're the bacchanal of capital, the unwanted pregnancy of private equity. Acquisitions, conquests, mergers, seed fundings, initial public offerings, impact investing, open partnerships, asset lubrications and liquidations, equity after dark, a_al (it's a wizard finance term). Angel's got a lot going on... financially speaking.

Stock Directory Symbol: AV

Persona: a cute little cherub, a foxy siren, reflections at the bottom of the bottle, a rotting corpse

Domains: Arbitration facilitators, hollowed-out brands, fast food, ruins

Blessings: Spells of entropy and destruction; temporary elimination of hunger, sleepiness, or other bodily desires; grind mentality

Prayers Include: brand loyalty, using the word "disruption" a lot in casual conversation, 

The Go

The Go is a wide open green at the heart of the Chronulean campus in Wizard City Hexcrawl. It used to be called "The Diagonal Green". Then eventually the students shortened it to "The Diagon". Then "Diago". Then, simply, "The Go"...  Age is the best indicator for which of these names will be used.

'The Go' is host to a number of University-sponsored and sanctioned activities. It's a popular destination for recruitment and solicitation, due to the considerable foot traffic it gets.

d20	What’s Happening?
1	Two ten-foot solid iron statues of old rich donors are about to have a duel.  They’ve been doing this for years... They’re picking weapons:  1) Their canes 2) Fisticuffs 3) Whatever they can grab nearby, like you!  4) Pistols (Cannons), Twenty Paces 5) Swords stolen from other statues  6) Pokemon battle with a tiger statue fighting a swan statue.
2	Recruitment drive for “Drain The Drain!”.  Student wizard activists are soliciting questions to passers:  1) “Are you comfortable having a giant pool of arcanoactive waste next to YOUR drinking water?” 2) “Hey... Can I interest you guys in like… Saving the world?” (He’s here to get laid) 3) “Hi! Would you like to contribute to SLAYING THE MAGICAL MUCK MONSTER?” 4) Until The Drain gets cleaned, THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU! (Shows off horrible mutation)
3	A Brawl.  4d6 wizard students are having a fistfight. Plenty of spectators. There are no sides. Nobody has any idea why this is happening, they’re just happy to be involved. The Dean is about to show up in force with five of his clones in approximately 2d4 Minutes to break it up and make examples.
4	University Activity Club is Recruiting Members.  They’ve got a table set up and literature to pass out.  1) Lightball League - No Contact, No Points, (No Fun) 2) Academic Fencing - Cool facial scars, only moderate chance of hospitalization. 3) Spell Study Club - In case you wanted your extracurricular to be more studying. 4) Knitting League - Competitive. Very competitive. People DIE in Knitting League. 5) Mental Gymnastics Club - For academics, philosophers, politicians, and pedants. 6) The Young Warlocks - A social movement for the de-stigmatization of Pact magic. 7) S.R.C. (Secret Reactionary Committee) -  “A secret committee for the disestablishment of secret committees.” 8) Cloning Clones Club - Want to make clones? Don’t like the ethical or spiritual complications? Then just clone clones instead! (It’s NOT the same!)
5	Internship Drive.  Companies are recruiting interns for dangerous work and/or free labor. 1) The Security Enterprise Corporation needs a secretary-in-training. Redheads only. 2) Magic Hat Holdings requires a coffee-getter for their Arcane Exchange team. Linebacking skills preferred. 3) Torch-Holders and Porters required for Extranational Expeditions. Funeral expenses provided. 4) Chronulean Patent Enforcement Force requires someone who can read. To read things. You will not be paid. 5) The Bookprinter’s Cartel - Learn monopolization skills and bashing skulls. 6) Crypt Currencies LLC - Nobody is sure how anything works or what work is being done, but money is made, so nobody questions it. 7) Do you like arson AND extortion? Join the Fire Brigade! 8) Failing in your studies? Have you considered police brutality as a career? Join Patent Enforcement today!
6-12	Students Hanging Out. 1) Spider Studies Major is spinning web-hammocks in a tree. Pretty cool. 2) Sophomores tossing a Lightball back and forth using their Light wands. No risk of contact. 3) Couple of green pals, photosynthesizing. Tank tops and sunglasses. 4) Friends chilling around a magic circle, holding hands. Doesn’t seem terribly ominous. 5) Pair of gals casually chatting about blood magic. 6) Meditative grad student is focusing on visions of the apocalypse. Does not want to be disturbed. 7) Freshmen cautiously picking at mysterious jiggling food acquired from off-campus. 8) A few juniors are walking their familiars and chatting about summoning sword demons. 9) Two brains-in-jars privately giggling and badmouthing professors. 10) Two-headed senior is having a conversation with themself about how annoying eavesdroppers are. 11) Gaggle of juniors talking loudly and acting inebriated, drinking out of bagged bottles secretly containing weird little demons. 12) Elven music major is waving around a grass reed, conducting a symphony of cicadas and crickets. 13) An Accounting student is simultaneously counting every person entered, step taken, and word spoken in The Go. 14) Two amateur linguists are attempting to Speak with Earth on the rock monument devoted to the Class of 499. 15) A cheery senior from the Department of Torture is outlining their thesis on the history of skin flaying to a group of horrified freshmen. 16) A lass is practicing enunciation to summon a disease demon… “DISSSS-entery.. Hmm, no… Dis-EN-tery…” Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe without a proper subject. 17) Three lads are practicing drawing perfect circles with chalk. Harder than it looks. 18) A tall guy is feeding the squirrels and turning them purple. 19) A small cohort of students are writing advertisements for cults in chalk on the sidewalk. (See: #17) 20) Three juniors with strange goggles are staring up high, aghast at something invisible and giant.
13	Protest.  6d10 people present. 1) Students Against Textbook Hikes - The Bookprinter’s Cartel hiked textbook prices again. People are understandably upset. Great place to ask around for black market locations on and off campus. Cartel infiltrators present. 2) Custodians For Additional Designated Shrines - Nobody present. They won their demands. Nobody messes with the Custodians, not even Administration. 3) Faculty Against Proliferation of Cults - There are just far too many cults. How do we even keep track of them all? It seems like there’s a dozen every day. They’re not anti-cult (they’re fine with older ones), just anti-new-cult. 4) Graduate Students Against Committee Protocols - There is exactly one very brave graduate student. They’re probably doomed. 5) Student Groups Against Systematic Brainwashing - They've done this yearly protest at least four times in the last month alone. 6) Students and Faculty for Departmental Peace - They want an end of hostilities with the pariah History Department. Concessions and Pardons should be given to bring an end to the violence.
14	Special Event!  6d10 Students present. 1) Academic Triathlon - Elite students compete in three back-to-back categories: memorization, incantation, and somatics.  2) Renewal of the Abjurative Demons - Powerful summoning ritual performed by faculty to summon tolerable demons that will keep truly dangerous demons at bay for another harvest season. 3) The Department of Spying is having its monthly Spy vs. Spy war game. People are being faux-abducted and assassinated with probably-harmless magic. 4) Concert. Loud experimental bands approved by student secret committees. Large crowd gathered.
15	Panhandler.  They will move on or be removed by The Dean within 1 Hour. 1) Brain in a jar of a guy who sounds drunk, despite having no orifices or body. “Hey, spare some brain fluid?” 2) Forgetful Student. “Can I bug you for a couch to surf? I lost my memories and don’t have a place to stay.” 3) Reality Junky. “Spare some Spellgold? This reality just ain’t good enough anymore, y’know?” 4) Bum Animancer. “Hey man, got some juice? I haven’t bestowed the gift of sentience in like… hours!” 5) Bum Transmuter. “Want some change?” 6) Curse Eater. Holding a cardboard sign:  “Any Curse Helps. Fates Bless.” Will literally eat cursed stuff.
16	A Tour.  One tour guide plus 4d6 attendees in tow. 1) Student orientation tour. Tour guide talks about how the statues periodically duel, what buildings to avoid, and to NOT TOUCH THE UNIVERSITY SEAL. 2) Student re-orientation tour. Occasionally students lose their memories and must be reacquainted with the university. 3) Administrative Audit. Shadow-faced suits on route to a PURGE. They carry bloody swords and faculty evaluations. 4) Business Wizards. Suits and balding heads. On their way to witness some potentially profitable science.
17	Advertisement! 1) Magic Mouth. Only appears if you’re in debt. “NEED CREDIT?? Shark Loans! No questions asked!” 2) Chalk message. “Church of the Spoon. Sundays at 3.” 3) Flyers. “If you can understand this expression, join the Hypermath Cult.” Total mathematical nonsense… unless you’re high or hallucinating. 4) Chalk message. “Don’t look at page 26.” Code for the latest issue of The Waking Eye - which page will cause the magazine to self-destruct.
18	Construction. Hazardous.  3d10 Spatial Engineers from the Bureau of Space and Time are here, moving entire buildings around. Blockades are set up. The Go has become a labyrinth. An uncareful student can fall in and find a building has been moved on top of them.
19	Anomalous Event.  Something strange is happening… 1) All students present are standing perfectly still, gazing up at the sky. After a few moments they continue on with their routines, oblivious to what just happened. 2) The Greens are permeated with strange holes in reality. If one’s not careful one can fall in and become Lost in Space and Time. 3) A student is screaming and clutching their head, ranting about ‘the programming inside us all. The Archmages, they’re controlling everyone!’. Secret police from the city are about to arrive and make him disappear. 4) “Eat The Rich” scrawled in chalk. After seeing this, the next time one encounters a wealthy individual they’ll try to cannibalize them. 5) Mural painted on the sidewalk: a black-robed individual in the distance, as if coming from out of the desert. Contagious memetic virus. Visions of this approaching man. When he arrives within a week, one will be compelled to mindlessly head east into the desert (and likely perish from exposure). 6) Mystical Portal has appeared. It goes to a random location in the city.
20	Nothing…  (Which always means something.) Overrides other entries if rolled. 1) The Go is entirely empty, except for the Statues. 2) The Go is entirely empty, even the Statues. 3) The Go simply does not exist right now. You enter one side and exit out the other without remembering a thing. 4) The Go does not exist narratively or sequentially in your campaign. Skip over it entirely and accept no questions.

The Machine Magic Market

The Machine Magic Market is the central economic and technological hub in Wizard City Hexcrawl, sporting a plethora of commercial magitech options. It's a common destination for techno-pilgrims, industrialists, and engineering students from abroad.

PROMINENT PROSTHESIS VENDORS

The Market's got dozens of independent and incorporated vendors for prostheses of all shapes and sizes. There's enough here to make you fully metal-fleshed out man, if you had the inclination. Way cheaper to just put a brain in a jar, though.

Antonio's

"There ain't no broken heart Antonio can't fix!"

(Note: Antonio does not recommend replacing all your major organs with platinum magitech constructs unless you absolutely positively need it... Medically.)

Antonio is a big hairy musically-spoken man with a heart of gold. He's also a big softy, especially when it concerns heart-broken young people. You can expect excellence service at Antonio's for all your heart-replacement needs. Plenty of folks go there just for the conversation. 

Need a ticker that's not gonna break down every time you get in a fistfight with a bird? You go to Antonio's! Feeling heartsick from your last breakup? You go to Antonio's! Want to impress your rich friends by replacing all your major organs with immortal platinum machines? Antonio is your guy!

Also sells synthetic livers, kidneys, spleens, and lungs, though they can get pretty expensive. (It's way cheaper to pay a back alley surgeon for an organic service.)

[Note on Internal Magitech Organs: Whether it's Antonio's or another vendor, they largely come in two varieties: expensive and cheap.]

Expensive magitech organs are typically made of flexible rare earth materials (gold, mithril, uranium, etc.) and have a low maintenance cost, but are virtually unobtainable unless you're rich. Examples:

• Solid Gold Heart - no maintenance required unless physically damaged. Costs ten times its weight in gold and will basically run forever.
• Nuclear Liver - Purifies your blood with radiation! Typically not recommended unless most of your other organs have already been replaced. Your Poison Save maxes out. Death causes your liver to meltdown and produce a nuclear explosion! Will require monthly blood transfusions.
• The Mithril Special - A set of indestructible mithril lungs and accompanying aorta will protect you from most chest puncture wounds. Any damage dice against you that come up "7" are negated.

Cheap magitech organs have a very low up-front cost, but come with some serious strings attached: high-interest payment plans, "default reclamation services", and poverty-inducing maintenance costs. Most cheap organs require regularly taken Brain Fluid to remain operational (a healing potion, essentially).

• Iron Lung - Requires regular aerosolized inhalation of Brain Fluid, or it will rust and suffocate the user. When well-maintained protects against gas attacks.
• The Classic Ticker - A leaden heart. Prolonged usage without Brain Fluid will drain the user's mental stats. Become immune to Charm effects.
• The Snake - An intestine replacement device. Can only digest things a snake can digest. Tends to squirm about a bit without brain fluid. Insufficient usage causes Snake Belly Syndrome, which is kind of cool until it begins to eat its host body.
• Plastic Heart - The cheapest of the lot. Go over 120 bpm and it'll burst. Don't take brain fluid and it'll burst. Try to avoid exercise, arousal, and any stressful situation.

Clock Incorporated

"Having an atomic clock directly attached to my brain stem has increased my productivity by 2.61%! 

I could barely n-n-notice the s-s-side effects! Shop at Clock Incorporated today!"

Byezuke

Contrary to first impression, Clock Incorporated is not a corporation.

It's a private company run by Lilly Calculator - a being more clock than human at this point. Clocks for eyes, clocks for hands, clocks for days and years and centuries. Her automaton-clockwork engineers can insert virtually any kind of clock - mechanical, atomic, electric, or otherwise - right into your flesh with minimal interference to your circadian rhythms, heartbeat, breathing, or understanding of the construct of Time.

The benefits of having a clock literally embedded into your body are more than the minute amount of time saved having to look at clocks, it also unlocks your so-called "clock feel", a self-described sixth sense that can detect unusual fluctuations in time. They also make good foci for time-based spells like Haste and Slow.

Lilly's products have the habit of disrupting sleep during the first month of usage. Abilities are not typically produced until after this layover period. All Implants allow the host to automatically tell the time and sense time fluctuations.

• Ocular Implant - Lose sight in that eye. Visually 'see' time fluctuations. (This is the second-most accurate method.) Gain a Slow gaze attack 1/Day.
• Prefrontal Implant - Implant cannot be destroyed or fiddled with unless you die or suffer a serious concussion. Innately 'know' time fluctuations (this is the most accurate method). Your memory cannot be magically altered.
• Metronome Arms - Mechanically strong full-arm prosthetic. While relaxed they naturally swing like metronomes. Physical attacks using the arms deal -1d4 damage and +1d4 damage on alternating rounds. Can 'feel' time fluctuations (a relatively inaccurate method).
• Nose Implant - Full nasal replacement allows one to 'smell' time fluctuations (the least accurate method), as well as nearby clocks within 30ft, and personal watches within 15ft.

Armstrong's Long LAW Arms

"Oh yeah, my grandma recently got a L.A.W. Now she can reach the top shelf and slap pigeons out of the sky like they owe her money. Not allowed to play badminton anymore though..."

L.A.W. stands for "Long-Ass W.I.N.G." 

W.I.N.G. is a Wetwork-Incorporated Pneumatic Growth. It's your basic machine-flesh interfaced pneumatic limb. It's like the combination of a robot arm and an air-filled tire. What's with all the acronyms? Armstrong was in law enforcement.

The store itself is filled with inflatable arms flapping around in the breeze like a bunch of wacky inflatable tube men. Armstrong himself is a balding veritable big-blustering used-car salesman when it comes to LAW arms. He doesn't put any of them up for sale that he hasn't tested himself, though. This means at any particular time he presently has 5-13 simultaneously attached mismatched mechanical arms. He rides around on them like a lopsided Doc Ock, talking big and loud and juggling conversations and clients like chainsaws.

All LAWs require some getting used to. -2 DEX for the first month of use. All DEX penalties turn into equivalent bonuses if you're using them to balance like a tightrope walker.

• The Long LAW Arm - The gold standard of pneumatic arms. Grants the user 10ft of reach. -2 DEX
• The Longer LAW Arm - The golder standard of pneumatic arms. Grants the user 15ft of reach, but reduces their DEX by 4.
• The Long John LAW - A LAW for your LAW, an arm on an arm. Unfolds like a big folding knife. When used in reduced format grants 10ft of reach. While extended grants 20ft of reach, but reduces DEX by 6.
• The Long Arm of the LAW - Your standard Long LAW Arm with a custom mancatcher attachment. Special interchangeable parts include tasers, anti-fugitive spikes, barbed wire balls, and robotic crab pincers.

Minor Prosthesis Vendors

• Dicks - You can probably guess what they sell here... That's right, sporting prosthetics! Want a tennis racket for a hand? Sure you do!
• Leg Day - The owner is the sommelier of mechanical legs. The borderline between leg and rocket sometimes gets a little too blurry for comfort.
• Only Feet - You'll be thankful for the owner's zealous love for feet when your foot gets gnawed off by an owl-wolf or you step in a gelatinous cube.
• Witch Wigs - Owner has an inferiority complex due to the debate as to whether wigs are official prostheses, that fuels her passion for weaponizable wigs. Want a wig that's secretly a bomb? This place has you covered.
• The Mark Memorial Motorized Pet Hospital - Hosts a mobile clinic for managing pet prostheses. The whole thing looks like a fat metal centipede and moves with the same consistency. Three resident vets: Mark Jr, Mark II, and Mark III. All replicants of the original Mark.
• Nose To-Goes - According to the publication Machine, enormous metal noses are in high demand! The better to smell spells with.

EXCELLENT ENGINE VENDORS

Transmuters love engines, and Spellgold technology has opened up a whole new realm of transmutive possibilities. Mechanical engines are really just the tip of the iceberg, though. The engineers of the Machine Magic Market are extraordinarily competitive, and frequently attempt to sabotage each others' endeavors.

Kobold Engineering

"I swear, every time I look away from two proximate Kobold machines they start breeding."

Less an engineering firm than an engineering clan. The company is collectively owned and operated by the Kobold family, whose members number in the hundreds. Even the kids get to participate in some of the less dangerous jobs, such as managing the stores. If one had to point to a leader it would be the clan's eldest matriarch Bea, who's as hard of a hardass as they come, except with her grandkids.

Kobold Engineering specializes in compact personal engines - backpack to pocket sized. Their products cover a range of solutions arcane, mechanical, and chemical, and nearly all of them can be converted into bombs with a minor bit of tinkering. In fact, their products are turned into bombs so frequently that an entire cottage industry of urban bombmakers has arisen in their wake. The Secret Police would probably shut them down if they weren't one of their biggest customers.

Their main product line in the last year included:

• Anti-Anxiety Box - Pocket sized, converts local anxiety into pleasant elevator music! The more anxiety present, the louder the music.
• Kobold Splitter Ray - Backpack sized. Fires a beam that converts one big thing into two smaller things of equivalent mass and half the stats.
• Pocket Water Purifier - Pocket sized. Converts any spell put into it into Purify Water.
• Greaser 5000 - Backpack sized. Converts any spell put into it into Grease.
• Knife-o-matic Mk.III - Pocket sized. Converts items finger-sized or smaller into knives of identical materials (DO NOT INSERT FINGERS... UNLESS ONE WANTS THEM TO BECOME KNIVES, IN WHICH CASE DO INSERT FINGERS.)

K.E.'s main operation is a network of self-contained and booby-trapped underground caves and testing sites extending directly downwards of their on-site locations. Not infrequent to feel minor earthquakes in their shops.

Helburger-Forsch

"Your emotional energy is underutilized. Buy Helburger-Forsch converter."

Heimlich Helburger and Hans Forsch jointly own the world's premier developer of emotional-arcane converters, which probably explains their poor sense of humor. Their workshop is a feedback loop of depressing factory conditions soulcrushing their emotionally harvested workers into profitability.

The look of an emotional-arcane converter is best described as spaceman fishbowl - clear, spherical, eerily reflective. What it lacks in style in makes up for in utility - allowing one to transmute emotions into spells is a price plenty are willing to pay. The bigger the emotion, the bigger the spell.

What they lack in sense of humor, they make up for in craft. Their designs are expensive, but nearly flawless. Engines undergo rigorous testing, and occurrences of Emotional Rampage Syndrome are now prevented in 83.3% of hull integrity breaches.

Helburger-Forsch didn't come up with these names. They call all their products "Helburger-Forsch converters". These names were given by the people.

• "The Fishbowl" - A fishbowl helmet. Any time you experience an extreme emotion (anger, sadness, disgust, joy, etc.) you do not experience it and instead gain a Spell Slot / Magic Die.
• "The Chrome Dome" - A shiny metal skullcap. Implanted directly onto the skull. You become immune to emotion-manipulating magic, but every time you talk to an NPC without another party member present the GM speaks in a monotone devoid of emotional context.
• "The Bright Idea" - A lightbulb-shaped helmet. Generates light based on the magnitude of your present level of excitement. The stronger the magnitude, the stronger the range. (5-50ft, use a scale of 1-10). No illumination when unconscious, unless you're dreaming.

Trebuchet Kinetics

"When you want an engine with some umph!"

Sisters Katrina and Catrina Trebuchet are the so-called Queens of Kinetics. While their contracts are largely industrial, they do have a couple of side projects that are commercially available (and a few that aren't on the books). Kat and Cat frequently take their projects to The Mall, using the soul-stealing mannequins as target practice.

• The Extradimensional Farter Vacuum - This dangerous device sucks out the air and loose material out of an extradimensional space, shooting it out of whatever ports might exist with a force upon the port proportional to the volume, potentially turning the entrance into a projectile.
• Force to Weight Converter - Works only once, but like a seat belt it can save lives. Converts a single instance of force into pounds of fat on the wearer. One can potentially survive a lethal blow or fall only to succumb to heart disease some time later.
• Big Bling Bang Machine - This explosive uses Spellgold (and by proxy Spell Slots / Magic Dice) to make a detonation proportional to inputted magic.
• The Escaper - Kinetic battery. Halves one's effective combat speed when approaching enemies, and doubles their speed when running away from them.
• Unnamed Poison Tester - Converts the lethality of a consumed poison into kinetic energy. More poisonous, more velocity. Either way cyanide will kill you.

Minor Engine Vendors

• Rags to Riches - Purveyor of the reverse sewing machine and the cloth to gold converter. Both require an electrical potential.
• Throng's Long LAW Arm Bomb Bongs - They sell bangin' long bongs made of Armstrong's LAWs. They also sell space heaters on the side.
• Just Shrink Rays - On the surface it's a shop run by an ant colony. Turns out some of them are shrunken people, too.
• Extradimensional Associates - They didn't invent the Bag of Holding, they just bought the company that made it. A venture capital corporation wearing the skinned faces of more brilliant companies. The original Bags of Holding made by Dimensional Holdings are rare collector's items and far superior to Associates' current product line.
• Gas-Powered Poles - Fuel to poking converter. If you want to poke something really good from really far, this is your place. Minor modification can turn gas-powered sticks into bombs-on-sticks.