|Le Petit Poucet, by Gustave Doré, for Perrault's Les Contes de Perrault|
So You Pissed Off A Sorcerer, Eh?
Well That Explains...
- Tries to cut off your thumbs in your sleep with a big long knife. (See above)
- Appears one hour after you doze away, in the nearest doorway.
- Has ten thumbs for fingers and ten thumbs for toes - four tremendously strong grips. Uses leg-limbs to muffle screams and arrest limbs.
- Won't be satisfied until he's gotten at least two thumbs that he believes came from the target.
- Poor eyesight.
2. The Giant River-Snake
- Is a five-mile long rapids-filled river shaped like a snake. A giant spirit anaconda made of whitewater.
- Either occasionally precedes you to geographically hinder and confuse, or tries to sweep you up sudden massive flash flood.
- If trying to sweep you up, lets out a giant foamy hiss before trying to "eat" you.
- If it misses with the initial sweep, it's still a dangerous rapids-filled river for a few more hours, at least. It will also circle around, entrapping.
3. Your Evil Twin
- Stubby blue goblin-like creature hiding in bush suddenly jabs you in knee with shiv. When you scream or shout, it steals your voice. Then de-materializes into bush.
- Goblin-Spirit then takes on target's visage. Starts making trouble a few towns over.
- Insults important people, kicks puppies, sleeps with mayor's daughter, steals everyone's cheese, etc.
- Disappears when it sees original (note: not vice versa). Voice then returns to target.
4. The Maggot Explosions
- Flea-sized spirit, lightning quick, visible only under magnifying glass. Looks like ultra-tiny bee with haaaaaaands.
- Can't pass through glass or lead. (Can be trapped and contained)
- Micro-jumps around, tainting any food you touch to rapidly rot and explode with maggots and flies. Then jumps back onto you to hide in hair follicles.
- Any time tainted food is eaten suffer food poisoning. Also vomiting maggots and flies.
- The maggots and flies themselves don't explode, and are actually edible if you pick them out. Hope you like eating maggots for eternity!
- Will follow you into afterlife.
5. Why The Sun Wants to Murder Us
- Sun appears way bigger this dawn.
- Mostly-translucent flying mantis-like spirit holds up giant magnifying glass half a mile away to focus sunbeams onto you.
- Kites you around, magnifying the Sun all day. Hides to the east every night to rest.
- Provokes exhaustion checks, or double difficulty if those already exist. Or maybe fire damage.
6. The Sock Grundle
- Spirit looks like cross between squirrel and raccoon. Very agile in underbrush.
- Can make socks dance off of feet. Does this whenever socks are worn. Painless but surprising.
- Makes crescendo-ing "Shhhhhhhhhh!" noises.
- Goes and makes nests out of stolen socks.
- A curse typically applied in cold places.
7. This Strange Lump
- Cancerous boil appears in inconvenient hairy place.
- After 1 week becomes fist-sized.
- After this period, the boil grows infolding arms and hands.
- Arms and hands will tie your hair into impossible, inconvenient knots whenever you aren't looking. (Scalp hair to nearby tree branch, armpit hair to shirt, your eyebrow hair to someone else's eyebrow hair, etc.)
- Does this very quickly, in less than a second.
- Can be excised, though very painful. Fold-able arms have tendency to snatch scalpels and start indiscriminately stabbing.
8. The Horrible Hag
- Impervious Old Lady spirit accompanies you all the time. Looks like normal old lady.
- Constantly berates you and tells other people how terrible you are. Doesn't lie.
- Is silent only so long as she is actively, currently being berated.
- Crossing a river or a very busy street gets rid of her for a day, after which she will almost certainly berate you for leaving a poor old woman to cross alone.
9. The Grey Hand
- Severed hand of grey flesh with yellow fingernails tries to eye gouge to death the person whose home you last entered. Hits at darkest part of night.
- Its touch stains the skin pale yellow, and melts flesh like acid.
- Does this a few times before moving on to main target.
10. Why Every Carpet I Sit On Has A Pit Trap Under It
- Spirit is an invisible dog-sized mole man, apt in stealth, with impeccable attention to detail.
- Anytime you would sit or stand on a concealed bit of ground, such as a carpet, there is a perfectly-calibrated cylindrical pit trap waiting for you. Sometimes over 20ft deep.
- Pit is tailored so that someone exactly your dimensions becomes stuck. You will need to be dug out.
- If the fall doesn't kill you, being trapped in an earth coffin might. Starvation or suffocation.
- Sometimes pits have earth-covered spikes. Generally only if the first one doesn't kill you.
- Dying in a pit this way is the most politically humiliating way to die. Popular spirit assassin for targeting courtiers.
11. The Door Maimer
- Dwarfish man-spirit in crocodile mask waits behind doors to scythe your legs with a wood ax.
- Given away by complete silence. Not a sound or sign of movement in the area.
- Double normal movement speed. Cripples/Amputates legs then runs away.
- Only operates on already open doors. Must at least be slightly ajar.
12. The Dark Outriders
- Two black-clad riders with red waning-moon helmets come barreling down the way towards you. Their presence is announced by brass horns shaped like eagle beaks.
- Riders stretch a net between them. They attempt to ensnare you and anyone with you, dragging you for seven miles with their hell-horses.
- They laugh all the way.
- Nothing beneath their armor.
13. A White Tiger That Just Burst Out of A Man's Gut
- An albino spirit predator attacks you out in the open, despite how well accompanied or armed you are. Could be a tiger, a wolf, a cougar, a bear, something big and scary. Stats as normal for such a beast.
- If it kills the target, that's good.
- But if it doesn't, those that eat of its flesh will grow deathly ill over the course of a week.
- Color drains from their skin. Their belly gets distended outwards. Pain.
- Then a tiger claws its way out of their guts, from the inside. Attacks nearest person.
14. The Dancing Snake-Sword
- Malicious dancing sword of bendy steel that rattles with loose cross-guard before ambushes.
- Turns into flexible poisonous rattlesnake whenever it is grabbed.
- Sword blade is also Poisonous.
15. This Mysterious Black Amulet
- Black amulet with red eye painted onto it finds its way into bags/pockets.
- Always finds it way back, no matter how it is disposed of.
- Doesn't actually do anything harmful.
- Occasionally roll a secret meaningless roll for it.
16. The Double Agent Hawk
- Looks like a duke of hawks. Majestic, ferocious, perfect. Clearly supernatural.
- Can talk. Speaks like an old royal.
- Initially provides useful intelligence for you. Dangers ahead, enemy troop movements, interesting locations. Does this a few times to build trust.
- Betrays you. Turns traitor after trust has been built and intel looks solid.
- Begins telling enemies about your location. Leads predators straight to you. Misdirects about traps.
16. Why The Night Sky Wants to Kill Us
- Constellation Man with a hit job.
- Only appears on starry, clear nights.
- Shoots star arrows from the heavens. Hits like meteorites.
- Unconcerned with collateral damage.
16. The Ghostly Hand That Emerges From My Porridge
- Ghost that haunts your first meal of the day.
- Emerges hand/arm first from any liquid/semi-liquids. Constantly dripping in said material.
- Will attempt to swallow you whole like a python and drag you back into the breakfast food.
- Portended by vibrating liquids, all nearby roosters dying before dawn, and spilling milk that forms shapes of seeking hands.
17. The Demon Counsel
- A court of demons appears every Monday, ruled by The Demon King.
- King acts like a shitty guidance counselor, trying to steer you to commit selfish or abusive acts. Surprisingly supportive and understanding in this regard; still, asks you to do horrible things.
- If insufficient evil acts have been committed, then "assistance" is necessary: micromanaging demons, rumor-mongering imps, harassing spirits eager to "just get this over with", etc.
- They have all of the proper papers.
18. Your Backwards Head
- Ghost of weeping woman with black eye holes causes all who look upon her face to have their heads turned around 180-degrees with a quick snap.
- Person is functional in all other ways while head is turned around. Fighting is quite difficult, though.
- She keeps appearing in inconvenient places.
- Three head-turns and your head pops right off of your body. Body dies, your head lives. You are now just a head now.
19. How Everything's On Fire
- Little ash mote floats about 10ft above your head. Barely visible, less invisible at night.
- Sets fire to anything and everything flammable that you go near.
- Starts fires like things are drenched in lighter fluid.
- Quite useful if ensnared. Causes prison-container to drastically heat up, though.
20. This Horrible Toothache
- Tiny little yellow spirits crawl into your teeth to party when you sleep.
- Horrible toothache.
- Causes bottom molars to grow back and upwards towards brain. Over several days teeth will grow into roof of mouth and eventually pierce skull, growing into brain causing painful migraines and death.