- Equidistant Conference Room - Famously egalitarian non-euclidean design (those darn gnomes!) ensure that everyone seated is the exact same distance away from every other seated person. Standing up and sitting down is always a bit of a trip. Very popular with anarchistic groups.
- Inside A White Sperm Whale’s Mouth - Surprisingly roomy, if a bit gooey. Do mind the tongue! Sperm whales are famous for never snitching to the cops, and their innate mind shielding, hence their popularity by criminal groups.
- The Gym - Literally nobody goes here except Beemus The Wizard of GAINS, and he’s cool. Don’t mind the grunting that sounds like a car alarm falling off a cliff.
- Inside a Wine Bottle - Pull out the cork and shrink yourself down. Pocket dimension inside. Fancy spaghetti and wonderful wine collection served.
- Toilet Bowl Conference - Two-way scry through a toilet bowl. Very awkward with multiple people. Convenient, for all bathrooms are your oyster!
- Kiddie Corner at the Bookstore - It’s like this little treehouse for toddlers they’ve got when you make a left after entering. Of course wizards don’t bring their children to the bookstore, so now it’s mostly used by drug dealers.
- The Infinity Hotel - Infinite rooms means infinite possibility! Just keep walking and eventually you’ll find a decent meeting place.
- The Mall - “DO NOT GO TO THE MALL”, says literally everybody. But, Bah! That’s just for tourists. The Mall’s a great place for a secret meeting, as long as you pay mind to the Soul-Stealing Mannequins.
- Secret Police HQ - They’ll never suspect an illicit meeting right under their noses. Like, literally right under their noses. Literally.
- Some Guy’s Trench Coat - Not even extradimensional, just some really big trench coat that this guy rents out by the hour. Has just enough room for everyone underneath. May require riding on someone’s shoulders. Meeting typically held on the move.
- Dreams - They’re monitored by the Police, of course, but you can still create a secure space by making the dream gross enough that nobody sifting through the backlog will want to look at it.
- The Exsanguination Zone - Best for short meetings, as merely being in the zone drains your blood out through your skin, and nobody likes excessively blood-drenched socks.
- District Quadripoint - The precise point at which the four districts of the city meet is technically a legal deadzone in which nobody has jurisdiction. Just need to be one-dimensional and you’re good to go!
- The Past - Having meetings in the future is problematic, so why not have them in the past? (Don’t answer that.) Carries obvious risks of butterfly effect and whatnot, but what wizard hasn’t screwed up the time continuum at least twice?
- The Portal of Endless Screams - I mean, you have to shout over the billions of otherworldly screams constantly emitted from the portal, but at least eavesdropping is unlikely.
- District Council Meeting - You can say or do anything you want at these meetings, it’ll be on record, and exactly zero people will care.
- The Knock-On-Wood Diner - Nothing says illicit deals likes waffles! Also, declaring good fortune will definitely get you jinxed if you don’t actually knock on the wooden counters. Blame the wood spirits.
- In the Alley of the Rat Prince - The Rat Prince can detect when somebody is lying, and is sworn to bite them on the ear whenever this happens in his presence. He is, however, quite geriatric and moribund, and requires the assistance of several power-scheming rat-men to move. They all vie for this priviledge.
- The Hat Shoppe - Many secret rooms containing special secret hats. Built like a series of interconnected escape rooms. They say one owner is a retired “cleaner” for Locke-Key International, and the other is the head of the League of Felonious Gentlemen. Neither have ever been seen.
- Balanced Atop The Dread Souffle At Le Restaurant Tranquille - A precarious meeting spot, to be sure, for the Dread Souffles unleash unspeakable terrors should they deflate. Best to have exceptional balance and heavenly etiquette when perched upon ornamental pedestals meant for silent birds alone, as bourgeois wizards nibble at its corners. Nobody will dare disturb you there. Must communicate in sign or quiet writing.
Saturday, October 20, 2018
20 Secret Meeting Places
Sometimes you need to set up a meeting, but you can't do that just anywhere in Wizard City. You need a place where The Police, The Secret Police, and the Ultra-Secret Police can't listen in on your illicit deal-making.
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Redesigning Spells for a Wizard-Only Campaign
If your campaign is going to be exclusively about Wizards doing Wizard Crime in a City of Wizards, then we need to make sure that your frequently-used spells don't suck. The topic was touched on a few months ago in the community (this is the thread I remember starting it). But, as they say, better late than never!
Here are our problem spells for Wizard City:
(Using the 5e Spell List because that's what I use for my home campaign.)
Detect Magic / Someone's Magic Aura - These have two functions: Is there magic? What school of magic is there? Both of these questions are irrelevant in Wizard City, because everything is magic.
Counterspell / Dispel Magic - These spells make the fun not happen. Got no room for wet blanket spells.
Rope Trick / Someone's Magnificent Mansion / All Extra-dimensional Spells - Sub-dimensional shenanigans are a major theme in the city. Need to make these more in line with the setting.
Alarm / Arcane Lock / Knock / All Security Related Spells - Campaign's basically all about breaking and entering. If you're going to be using particular spells a lot, they need to not be boring.
All Illusion Spells - When literally everyone is a wizard, and likely has access to Detect Magic and the like, illusion spells must be stronger or more interesting to not be totally worthless.
How we fix them:
Detect Magic - Every spell is a metaphysical legally-binding contract which every Wizard must sign. Ergo, this spell lets you read the signature and the terms. Tells you who cast the spell, with what, for what duration, and how long ago.
Ex: This Snakes In Your Pants trap spell was cast by Garfunkle Hopperdinger with a Secret Pant-Snake two weeks ago. It will last 14 more hours.
Someone's Altered Magic Aura - If every spell is a contract, this is forging the contract. You must borrow someone's identity (their personal magical aura) for the spell's duration. This is like signing someone else's name on a legally-binding metaphysical contract. Requires physical part of person (a tooth, skin flakes, hair, etc.).
Until the spell concludes the identity-stolen person cannot be named by anyone in any fashion. Doubles as a means of annihilating someone's name if you cast it enough.
Counterspell - Redirection (not nullification): either random or targeted, based on class and level. Takes no spell slots. May Counterspell only once per round. (We'll see if this is too much Counterspelling after playtesting.) This does indeed result in spells ping-ponging across the battlefield.
Random Redirection: Assign everyone in the conflict a number. Do it quickly and arbitrarily. Roll a d12. It goes towards that person. If there isn't an assignment for the number you rolled it flies into a wall or an innocent bystander or something.
Targeted Redirection: The spell heads towards the person or area that you desire.
Wizards: 2 in 10 chance of random redirection
AMWAT: 3 in 10 chance of targeted redirection; 1 in 10 chance of random redirection.
Spell Sharks: 1 in 10 chance of random redirection; 1 in 10 chance of targeted redirection; double these chances if the little bitch owes you money.
Dispel Magic -> Misspell Magic - A Paromancer invention. If spells are contracts, this allows you to create a typo. Becomes available at Level 1, may cast at higher levels. For each Spell Level you cast it as, you may mutate, add, or remove one letter in the Spell Title to alter the nature of the spell. Spaces are free.
Rope Trick - Leads to one place and one place only: The Extra-dimensional Speakeasy owned by the 14 5/8ths Street gang. Random location within. Usually it's the toilet.
Someone's Magnificent Mansion - Opens a door to the lobby of Infinnity, the Infinite Hotel, in which a literally infinite number of rooms are occupied by literally an infinite number of people, with paradoxically always room for more.
Alarm - Replace entirely with Unique Alarms, or have a lookout.
Arcane Lock - Works on any hole/portal smaller than an adult elephant. Creates a door if there isn't one. Bump it up a spell level for a modicum of balance.
Knock - Opens target object. Wizards will never rely on a single lock to stop other wizards.
All Illusion Spells - Are actually tangible things, they just disappear forever when their duration is up or someone convinces the illusion that it isn't real. Illusions are very very suggestible (they just came into existence, so give 'em a break!). They will take the form that they think they are. If convinced of their nonexistence, illusions will have a momentary existential crisis before popping out of reality.
Ways to screw with illusions:
- Holding up a framed picture to the illusion and suggesting that it is a mirror.
- Screaming "YOU'RE NOT REAL YOU'RE NOT REAL YOU'RE NOT REAL" at it very loudly for a few moments.
- Doing that dumb magic trick where you make it look like your thumb is coming off.
- Showing it an optical illusion. Illusions become irrationally infuriated by them.
- Introducing it to the 5-Minute World Hypothesis
- Mimicking everything they do.
Here are our problem spells for Wizard City:
(Using the 5e Spell List because that's what I use for my home campaign.)
Detect Magic / Someone's Magic Aura - These have two functions: Is there magic? What school of magic is there? Both of these questions are irrelevant in Wizard City, because everything is magic.
Counterspell / Dispel Magic - These spells make the fun not happen. Got no room for wet blanket spells.
Rope Trick / Someone's Magnificent Mansion / All Extra-dimensional Spells - Sub-dimensional shenanigans are a major theme in the city. Need to make these more in line with the setting.
Alarm / Arcane Lock / Knock / All Security Related Spells - Campaign's basically all about breaking and entering. If you're going to be using particular spells a lot, they need to not be boring.
All Illusion Spells - When literally everyone is a wizard, and likely has access to Detect Magic and the like, illusion spells must be stronger or more interesting to not be totally worthless.
 |
| WIZARD FIGHT by Biffno |
How we fix them:
Detect Magic - Every spell is a metaphysical legally-binding contract which every Wizard must sign. Ergo, this spell lets you read the signature and the terms. Tells you who cast the spell, with what, for what duration, and how long ago.
Ex: This Snakes In Your Pants trap spell was cast by Garfunkle Hopperdinger with a Secret Pant-Snake two weeks ago. It will last 14 more hours.
Someone's Altered Magic Aura - If every spell is a contract, this is forging the contract. You must borrow someone's identity (their personal magical aura) for the spell's duration. This is like signing someone else's name on a legally-binding metaphysical contract. Requires physical part of person (a tooth, skin flakes, hair, etc.).
Until the spell concludes the identity-stolen person cannot be named by anyone in any fashion. Doubles as a means of annihilating someone's name if you cast it enough.
Counterspell - Redirection (not nullification): either random or targeted, based on class and level. Takes no spell slots. May Counterspell only once per round. (We'll see if this is too much Counterspelling after playtesting.) This does indeed result in spells ping-ponging across the battlefield.
Random Redirection: Assign everyone in the conflict a number. Do it quickly and arbitrarily. Roll a d12. It goes towards that person. If there isn't an assignment for the number you rolled it flies into a wall or an innocent bystander or something.
Targeted Redirection: The spell heads towards the person or area that you desire.
Wizards: 2 in 10 chance of random redirection
AMWAT: 3 in 10 chance of targeted redirection; 1 in 10 chance of random redirection.
Spell Sharks: 1 in 10 chance of random redirection; 1 in 10 chance of targeted redirection; double these chances if the little bitch owes you money.
 |
| Spells go pew pew pew! The Thrawn Trilogy |
Dispel Magic -> Misspell Magic - A Paromancer invention. If spells are contracts, this allows you to create a typo. Becomes available at Level 1, may cast at higher levels. For each Spell Level you cast it as, you may mutate, add, or remove one letter in the Spell Title to alter the nature of the spell. Spaces are free.
Rope Trick - Leads to one place and one place only: The Extra-dimensional Speakeasy owned by the 14 5/8ths Street gang. Random location within. Usually it's the toilet.
Someone's Magnificent Mansion - Opens a door to the lobby of Infinnity, the Infinite Hotel, in which a literally infinite number of rooms are occupied by literally an infinite number of people, with paradoxically always room for more.
Alarm - Replace entirely with Unique Alarms, or have a lookout.
Arcane Lock - Works on any hole/portal smaller than an adult elephant. Creates a door if there isn't one. Bump it up a spell level for a modicum of balance.
Knock - Opens target object. Wizards will never rely on a single lock to stop other wizards.
All Illusion Spells - Are actually tangible things, they just disappear forever when their duration is up or someone convinces the illusion that it isn't real. Illusions are very very suggestible (they just came into existence, so give 'em a break!). They will take the form that they think they are. If convinced of their nonexistence, illusions will have a momentary existential crisis before popping out of reality.
Ways to screw with illusions:
- Holding up a framed picture to the illusion and suggesting that it is a mirror.
- Screaming "YOU'RE NOT REAL YOU'RE NOT REAL YOU'RE NOT REAL" at it very loudly for a few moments.
- Doing that dumb magic trick where you make it look like your thumb is coming off.
- Showing it an optical illusion. Illusions become irrationally infuriated by them.
 |
| "THEY'RE NOT THE SAME AREA", screamed the wall, suddenly. |
- Mimicking everything they do.
Monday, October 15, 2018
Spells Is Gold!
This is for Wizard City, which currently exists in a state of random tables and coagulating ideas. It's the place with all the Wizard Gangs, with Wizard Cops and Robbers. and gonzo out the wazoo.
Spells may be the main currency in Wizard City, but proper wizards always make sure to diversify their investments. Important Investors, speaking in perfect unison from atop the Mountains of Madness, will periodically give insight to all the newest rage in speculative currency!
~~~~~
There are a few notable problems for Wizard City (in which there are nothing but wizards, including the party). How do I make Counterspell, Dispel Magic, and Detect Magic not suck? What system do we build this for? What spell list is useful? How do you dole out experience for criiiiiiiimes?
 |
| Accurate representation of wizards about to be doing the crimes. Night In The Woods |
In a Wizard City, magic is going to be the currency, no matter what what market looks like. That's a given. Wizards need power. Magic is power. Everything else is window dressing.
The biggest, latest innovation in THE MULTIVERSE - the thing that made Wizard City possible - was the commodification and distillation of spells. FRET NAUGHT, YOUNG DEFORMED HIRELING! Your master no longer requires that you lug around all of those books and spell scrolls and potions! Instead he can keep the latest Arcanocurrency right in his localized pant-pocket dimension! Now, hireling, you may be fed to the Shoggoth in the basement, as was designed!
 |
| "But vhat about my pension, master?" |
But seriously, Spells Are Gold Are XP in Wizard City. Spells are literally spell scrolls in coin form. You can burn your currency to cast the spell on the coin. Every type of coin has a one-use disposable spell inscribed on it. The value of each coin (and spell) exists on a logarithmic scale of value.
So, when your Wizard Criminals decide to go stick up the local Selling-Puppies-For-Experiments-Only Shop, they're stealing something they can actually use, not just dead weight in order to go buy castles or row boats or fancy spoons or whatever it is adventurers usually do with their money.
Assuming the system we're using has level 0-9 spells.
Spell Coins By Power Level
For point of reference, assume Spell Value given in USD. So a level 9 spell in the base 10 system is worth a billion buckaroos.
Coin Type
|
Spell Level
|
Spell Value
(10 base) |
Spell Value
(5 base)
|
Spell Value
(2 base)
|
Wood
|
Cantrip
|
1
|
1
|
1
|
Copper
|
1
|
10
|
5
|
2
|
Silver
|
2
|
100
|
25
|
4
|
Electrum
|
3
|
1,000
|
125
|
8
|
Gold
|
4
|
10,000
|
625
|
16
|
Platinum
|
5
|
100,000
|
3,000*
|
32
|
Plutonium
|
6
|
1,000,000
|
15,000*
|
64
|
Diamond
|
7
|
10,000,000
|
80,000*
|
128
|
Condensed Dark Matter
|
8
|
100,000,000
|
400,000*
|
256
|
Anti-Matter
|
9
|
1,000,000,000
|
2,000,000*
|
512
|
*Values rounded off to be easier for everyone.
 |
| Enough treasure to bring down a small country. Pic by Draelen |
Spells may be the main currency in Wizard City, but proper wizards always make sure to diversify their investments. Important Investors, speaking in perfect unison from atop the Mountains of Madness, will periodically give insight to all the newest rage in speculative currency!
What New Speculative Currency
Is All The Rage In Wizard City?
1. Secrets
2. Memories
3. Body Augmentations
4. Arms (functional/attachable ones only)
5. Saint Bones
6. Commemorative Spoons
7. Opium Bars
8. Gems with the souls of adventurers dissolving within.
9. Talking Goats
10. Ambitions, distilled.
11. Fantasies.
12. Babies, Fresh
13. Babies, Preserved
14. Familiars on Sticks
15. Years, Good Health
16. Years, Bad Health
17. Ancestor Spirits
18. Hauntings
19. Living Statues
20. Designer Diseases
21. Cursed Objects
22. Cursed Objects, Ironic
23. Generic Word Trademarks
24. Alliances
25. Chocolate Coins
26. Tulips
27. Books, Ancient
28. Books, Pornographic
29. Books, Talking
30. Books, Screaming
31. Books, For Throwing At Hirelings
32. Tongues
33. Vertebrae
34. Hirelings
35. Hirelings, Deformed
36. Hirelings, Miniaturized
37. Minotaurs
38. Deadly Traps
39. Languages
40. Bottles of Tears
41. Virgins
42. Ponies
43. Dragons
44. Manticores
45. Other Wizards
46. Nephews
47. Clones
48. Small Island Nations
49. Snowglobes
50. Snowglobes, With Pocket Dimensions Trapped Inside Them
51. Snowglobes, With Horrible Horrible Things Trapped Within
52. Alternate Universes
53. Mimics
54. Sunlight
55. Hallucinogenic Toads
56. Mind-Controlling Toads
57. Grandmotherly Wisdom
58. Awkward Conversations
59. Weddings
60. The Weather
61. Letters of the Alphabet
62. Impractically Tall Hats
63. Increasingly Longer Dogs
64. Milk
65. Firstborn Children
66. Chronic/Inheritable Diseases
67. Magic Rings
68. Golems
69. STDs
70. Guano
71. Particular Sausages
72. Cocaine
73. 4th Dimensional Hypercubes
74. Brains in Jars
75. Booze That Makes You Go Blind
76. Mismatched Socks
77. Breathable Air
78. Coupons For Canned Corn
79. Pocket Monsters
80. Designer Wands
81. Animals Polymorphed Into Vehicles
82. Philosophers
83. Molerats That Squeak When They Should Be Speculated On... No Wait They Do That All The Time
84. In-Laws
85. Wacky Wonky Inflatable Flailing Tube Men
86. Grains of Sands
87. Crackhouses
88. Potable Water
89. Triangles, The Shape, Everywhere
90. Fools
91. Warm Blankets
92. Jokes
93. Messiahs
94. Terrible Accidents
95. Sidewalks
96. Heat
97. Stars
98. Sick Disses
99. Everything
100. ...And Kitchen Sinks
33. Vertebrae
34. Hirelings
35. Hirelings, Deformed
36. Hirelings, Miniaturized
37. Minotaurs
38. Deadly Traps
39. Languages
40. Bottles of Tears
41. Virgins
42. Ponies
43. Dragons
44. Manticores
45. Other Wizards
46. Nephews
47. Clones
48. Small Island Nations
49. Snowglobes
50. Snowglobes, With Pocket Dimensions Trapped Inside Them
51. Snowglobes, With Horrible Horrible Things Trapped Within
52. Alternate Universes
53. Mimics
54. Sunlight
55. Hallucinogenic Toads
56. Mind-Controlling Toads
57. Grandmotherly Wisdom
58. Awkward Conversations
59. Weddings
60. The Weather
61. Letters of the Alphabet
62. Impractically Tall Hats
63. Increasingly Longer Dogs
64. Milk
65. Firstborn Children
66. Chronic/Inheritable Diseases
67. Magic Rings
68. Golems
69. STDs
70. Guano
71. Particular Sausages
72. Cocaine
73. 4th Dimensional Hypercubes
74. Brains in Jars
75. Booze That Makes You Go Blind
76. Mismatched Socks
77. Breathable Air
78. Coupons For Canned Corn
79. Pocket Monsters
80. Designer Wands
81. Animals Polymorphed Into Vehicles
82. Philosophers
83. Molerats That Squeak When They Should Be Speculated On... No Wait They Do That All The Time
84. In-Laws
85. Wacky Wonky Inflatable Flailing Tube Men
86. Grains of Sands
87. Crackhouses
88. Potable Water
89. Triangles, The Shape, Everywhere
90. Fools
91. Warm Blankets
92. Jokes
93. Messiahs
94. Terrible Accidents
95. Sidewalks
96. Heat
97. Stars
98. Sick Disses
99. Everything
100. ...And Kitchen Sinks
Friday, October 12, 2018
Forest of Fences Mechanics
Link to the conceptual post: here.
The Forest of Fences is intended to be a diversion or a roadblock, not a full adventure (yet). It could turn into so if some proper adventure locations are added to it. May be a future post.
Navigation
Every six hours the navigator of the party must make a normal Intelligence check. On success, the party goes the direction they want. On failure of 5 or more, they head away from the center. Normal failure and they effectively walk in circles.
Each success increases Depth by 4. Depth starts at zero, and can climb to a maximum of 20. If you press onwards beyond that (20), you pass through the middle of the forest, and Depth starts to decrease.
Broken fences will regrow in 12 Hours. Climbing a fence completely unassisted is a normal climb check. Doing it assisted will generally result in automatic success, unless you've got some deadly hazard. The view from the tops of fences can only give you brief insight into which directions lead towards and away from the center. If they do this give them +2 on Navigation rolls.
What Fence Is In The Way?
Roll 1d12+Depth every six hours.
1-4. Wooden picket
Two feet higher than tallest party member. Soggy rotted wood, unpainted.
5-6. Hedge Row
Three feet thick, more leaves than trunk.
7. Reed Lattice
Flimsy and dry. Makes good kindling.
8-9. Wood Palisade
Sharpened stakes at top cause 1d8 damage on fall or significant force.
10. Bamboo Wall
Grows quickly when planted: 1ft/hour.
11-12. Barbed Wire Fence
Dexterity check when possibility of entanglement. Failure: 1d4 damage and restrained.
13. Cobblestone Wall
Falling apart at the seams. 5ft high. Plentiful source of loose rocks.
14-15. Wrought Iron
Iron spikes at the top. 8ft high. Iron poles spaced out 10cm apart.
16. Mushroom Stockade
Thick rubbery shrooms, red and white striped. They grow as tall as a man, and sometimes cradle their faces in the obese spiraling petals.
17. Bamboo Thicket
Quick growing and thick. Replaces itself in only 10 minutes. The leafiness hides a Chinese fingertrap of latticed stalk.
18. Chain Link
Easy to scale, through it's 15 feet high.
19. Stage Curtain
Something lurks behind the curtain, always. 5 in 6 chance of encounter. 1 in 6 chance of treasure.
20. Rose Hedge
Thorny hedgerow covered in early spring rose bulbs. As Barbed Wire Fence, except that drawing blood (dealing damage) causes 1d4 roses to bloom. That many random players must Save vs. Magic or pick the roses, causing them to shrivel and rot instantaneously. Those affected cannot romantically love again until they have died at least once.
21. Bone Stakewall
Femurs, mostly. Consciously arranged and crosslinked. Sometimes there is a biting skull embedded in the network. As immobile skeleton. Can be turned as 3HD undead.
22. Stacked Concertina Wire
Dexterity check when possibility of entanglement. Failure: 1d6 damage and restrained.
23. Stranglevine Lattice
Grasping and choking vines with a life of their own. As a large Assassin Vine, or system equivalent.
24. Corpse Concrete
Cemented agonized corpses. Save vs. Poison if you touch it. Fail, and you will flee every battle for 1 day. Clerics can feel their fear. Can be turned as 5HD undead.
25. Subliminal Noise Hedge
A wall of speakers, quietly whispering in a low pitch subliminal commands to turn back, masked in a leafy hedge. Save vs. Magic or be gently Turned as an Undead would, without the panicked rush. Most of the speakers don't work, but some electronics could be salvaged from the working ones.
26. Electrified Razor Wire
Chain link with a sourceless shock. Dexterity check when possibility of entanglement. Failure: 2d6 damage and restrained. 3d6 damage for metal armor wearers.
27. Bayonet Wall
Thousands of bayonets pointing laterally and vertically. Still sharp. Applying significant force or failing a Dex check to climb will deal 1d10 damage.
28-29. Electrified Barbed Wire Thicket
As Electrified Razor Wire, but at any given point the thicket is is 3d10 yards thick.
30-32. Kill Zone
A gap in the impenetrable thicket leads to a self-contained grove. At last you have reached the center. No sounds but the dry grass crinkling under your boots.
Then there's thunder-crack, like all the gods released all their lightning in one salvo. Barbed wire thicket hides a machine gun nest with near-flawless field of view. Nobody mans the bunker. Were one to clear out the death-brush and penetrate the concrete walls one would only find a smoking (but intact) machine gun.
The ambush is as 3 salvos from the Machine Gun below before it runs out of ammo.
Encounters (1d8)
Few things live in the Forest of Fences. 1 in 6 chance of encounter every six hours.
1-3. Living Fence
Roll on the Fence table. That fence is alive. It moves, attempting to corral away from the center of the forest. If attacked it will retaliate.
AC Cannot Miss HP 20 per section HD 4 Speed Half Human
2d4 Strangle + "Significant Force" Damage.
A little fey-girl tends the forest. Looks around 5 years old, hopelessly tangled hair and innumerable cuts on her arms and legs. She saw this forest conceived and born from the madness of War, and is small enough to squeeze into the cracks. She might help you, if you can prove you're not a monster. This isn't easy. You look just like one.
She can treat the fences as merely difficult terrain. If threatened she can even make them into Living Fences.
AC As Chain (High Dex) HP 12 HD 2 Speed Normal
6. The Good Neighbor
A man, from where nobody is sure.
He replies: "The other side of the hedge", if asked. Dressed comfortably for the chilly morning.
He is heard, at first, a fence yonder. A gentle hyup-sound for heavy lifting. He is tearing down a fence, whichever one happens to be next. His arms are burly - he can tear down the fences with only his hands. Why is he tearing them down?
"There are no cows here." He'll reply. He has homemade blueberry wine to share.
He is an elf.
7. The Eyes of Madness
Eyes in a flooded hole in the ground. Muddy white teeth grinning with the madness of war. Lowest Wisdom party member must Save vs. Magic or be Cursed. When this happens there is a very loud sound, like a misfiring gun. Every 12 hours consult the table for symptoms (1d8):
Talking to the affected about anything has a 1 in 2 chance of alleviating the curse for 12 hours, after which symptoms will reappear.
8. Steel Juggernaut
A juggernaut-beast of fire and metal sleeps in the thickest brush, silent as the dead. With a horrible cataclysmic screeching it comes to live, trampling the most dangerous of fences with a rolling thunder. It is utterly misanthropic, attacking indiscriminately with steel and fire. There is soft flesh to rend, though one must pierce the thick metal shell. It laughs a distant laugh, like a mad man trapped below the ground.
Mark I "male" tank. One operational QF 6-Pounder Hotchkiss gun on the right side. One operational machine gun in the front. It can do nothing to those on the left and behind, except turn or try to crush them under the treads.
There is a crew, but they are dead and mad. Treat as Wights with 1HD, immune to Turning while they're inside the tank. They cackle and taunt obscenities, reveling in the scream before the body is crushed or set aflame.
5 Treasures inside the Juggernaut. They smell like old soiled laundry and motor oil.
AC Plate and +2 Shield HP 90 HD 15 Speed Normal*
Special Attacks
Treasures (1d20)
1. Steel Helmet
Negates the next 3 attacks to the head (excluding guns).
2. Pistol
As a +1 shortbow, but ignores armor. Comes with 2d4 bullets.
3. Rifle
As a +1 longbow, but ignores armor. Comes with 2d4 bullets.
4. Machine Gun
One salvo. Attack as +1 Longbow, ignores armor. If it hits then Save vs. Death or die. 2d10 damage on Save.
5. Binoculars
As telescope.
6. Periscope
As telescope, but can be used while still in full cover.
7. Electric Lantern
As cone lantern, but immune to being affected by wind/rain/etc. Lasts for 3 hours.
8. Tires
1d4 of them. Heavy. Plenty of fun things you can do with rubber!
9. Artillery Shell
Requires 3 successive INT checks to understand how this works. Once this is done you can prime it for detonation. Deals 4d10 damage in 30ft radius, 2d10 damage out to 60ft. Save vs. Staffs/Wands for half.
10. Gas Artillery Shell
Requires 3 successive INT checks to understand how this works. Once this is done you can prime it for detonation. Emits caustic cloud of gas in 40ft radius that travels with wind. Save vs. Poison or die. On success take 2d8 damage and become blinded.
11. Mortar Shell
1d6 Mortar Shells. 1 in 2 chance of dud. Deals 4d8 damage in 20ft radius, 2d8 damage out to 40ft. Save vs. Staffs/Wands for half.
12. Mortar Tube
Nothing more than a very sturdy tube alone (can seal it and carry something valuable!), but with three successful INT checks it can launch a Mortar Shell up to 2400ft.
13. Fragmentation Grenade
1d4 Grenades. 1 in 3 chance of dud. Deals 4d6 damage in 10ft radius, deals 2d6 damage out to 30ft. Save vs. Staffs/Wands for half.
14. Flamethrower
One use. Shoots gout of flame in 40ft line, Save vs. Breath or 4d6 damage, and half as much next two rounds. Alternatively use Dragon Breath stats.
15. Gas Mask
Protects from all respiratory-related effects.
16. Metal Detector
Has 20 minutes of battery left.
17. Entrenching Tool
Basically just a small shovel. Neatly portable, though! Does not take inventory slot.
18. Waterproof Tarp
Gives advantage on any checks related to getting wet, slimed, or hit with acid.
19. Dog Tags
2d10 of them. Worth 5gp each to Clerics or those interested in the supernatural.
20. Scope
A precision military scope. May be outfitted on a crossbow to double its range increments.
The Forest of Fences is intended to be a diversion or a roadblock, not a full adventure (yet). It could turn into so if some proper adventure locations are added to it. May be a future post.
Navigation
Every six hours the navigator of the party must make a normal Intelligence check. On success, the party goes the direction they want. On failure of 5 or more, they head away from the center. Normal failure and they effectively walk in circles.
Each success increases Depth by 4. Depth starts at zero, and can climb to a maximum of 20. If you press onwards beyond that (20), you pass through the middle of the forest, and Depth starts to decrease.
Broken fences will regrow in 12 Hours. Climbing a fence completely unassisted is a normal climb check. Doing it assisted will generally result in automatic success, unless you've got some deadly hazard. The view from the tops of fences can only give you brief insight into which directions lead towards and away from the center. If they do this give them +2 on Navigation rolls.
What Fence Is In The Way?
Roll 1d12+Depth every six hours.
1-4. Wooden picket
Two feet higher than tallest party member. Soggy rotted wood, unpainted.
5-6. Hedge Row
Three feet thick, more leaves than trunk.
7. Reed Lattice
Flimsy and dry. Makes good kindling.
8-9. Wood Palisade
Sharpened stakes at top cause 1d8 damage on fall or significant force.
10. Bamboo Wall
Grows quickly when planted: 1ft/hour.
11-12. Barbed Wire Fence
Dexterity check when possibility of entanglement. Failure: 1d4 damage and restrained.
13. Cobblestone Wall
Falling apart at the seams. 5ft high. Plentiful source of loose rocks.
14-15. Wrought Iron
Iron spikes at the top. 8ft high. Iron poles spaced out 10cm apart.
16. Mushroom Stockade
Thick rubbery shrooms, red and white striped. They grow as tall as a man, and sometimes cradle their faces in the obese spiraling petals.
17. Bamboo Thicket
Quick growing and thick. Replaces itself in only 10 minutes. The leafiness hides a Chinese fingertrap of latticed stalk.
18. Chain Link
Easy to scale, through it's 15 feet high.
19. Stage Curtain
Something lurks behind the curtain, always. 5 in 6 chance of encounter. 1 in 6 chance of treasure.
20. Rose Hedge
Thorny hedgerow covered in early spring rose bulbs. As Barbed Wire Fence, except that drawing blood (dealing damage) causes 1d4 roses to bloom. That many random players must Save vs. Magic or pick the roses, causing them to shrivel and rot instantaneously. Those affected cannot romantically love again until they have died at least once.
21. Bone Stakewall
Femurs, mostly. Consciously arranged and crosslinked. Sometimes there is a biting skull embedded in the network. As immobile skeleton. Can be turned as 3HD undead.
22. Stacked Concertina Wire
Dexterity check when possibility of entanglement. Failure: 1d6 damage and restrained.
23. Stranglevine Lattice
Grasping and choking vines with a life of their own. As a large Assassin Vine, or system equivalent.
24. Corpse Concrete
Cemented agonized corpses. Save vs. Poison if you touch it. Fail, and you will flee every battle for 1 day. Clerics can feel their fear. Can be turned as 5HD undead.
25. Subliminal Noise Hedge
A wall of speakers, quietly whispering in a low pitch subliminal commands to turn back, masked in a leafy hedge. Save vs. Magic or be gently Turned as an Undead would, without the panicked rush. Most of the speakers don't work, but some electronics could be salvaged from the working ones.
26. Electrified Razor Wire
Chain link with a sourceless shock. Dexterity check when possibility of entanglement. Failure: 2d6 damage and restrained. 3d6 damage for metal armor wearers.
27. Bayonet Wall
Thousands of bayonets pointing laterally and vertically. Still sharp. Applying significant force or failing a Dex check to climb will deal 1d10 damage.
28-29. Electrified Barbed Wire Thicket
As Electrified Razor Wire, but at any given point the thicket is is 3d10 yards thick.
30-32. Kill Zone
A gap in the impenetrable thicket leads to a self-contained grove. At last you have reached the center. No sounds but the dry grass crinkling under your boots.
Then there's thunder-crack, like all the gods released all their lightning in one salvo. Barbed wire thicket hides a machine gun nest with near-flawless field of view. Nobody mans the bunker. Were one to clear out the death-brush and penetrate the concrete walls one would only find a smoking (but intact) machine gun.
The ambush is as 3 salvos from the Machine Gun below before it runs out of ammo.
Encounters (1d8)
Few things live in the Forest of Fences. 1 in 6 chance of encounter every six hours.
1-3. Living Fence
Roll on the Fence table. That fence is alive. It moves, attempting to corral away from the center of the forest. If attacked it will retaliate.
AC Cannot Miss HP 20 per section HD 4 Speed Half Human
2d4 Strangle + "Significant Force" Damage.
- Animated Fence - Attacks cannot miss against the Living Fence, as it's as big as the broad side of a barn. Physical damage reduced by material type. Plant/Wood: 2 ; Stone: 5 ; Thin Metal: 3 ; Thick Metal 6
- Entangle - Fences get a free grapple attempt at +6 upon successful attack.
- Segmented - Each 10ft section of fence has 20HP. If destroyed the section will disintegrate, regrowing in 2d6 Rounds.
- Tethered - Living Fences cannot move 40ft beyond their original parellel.
A little fey-girl tends the forest. Looks around 5 years old, hopelessly tangled hair and innumerable cuts on her arms and legs. She saw this forest conceived and born from the madness of War, and is small enough to squeeze into the cracks. She might help you, if you can prove you're not a monster. This isn't easy. You look just like one.
She can treat the fences as merely difficult terrain. If threatened she can even make them into Living Fences.
AC As Chain (High Dex) HP 12 HD 2 Speed Normal
- Animate Fence - A poem of sufficient innocence she whispers to the fence will animate it. This takes 1 Round, about a limerick worth of rhyme.
6. The Good Neighbor
A man, from where nobody is sure.
He replies: "The other side of the hedge", if asked. Dressed comfortably for the chilly morning.
He is heard, at first, a fence yonder. A gentle hyup-sound for heavy lifting. He is tearing down a fence, whichever one happens to be next. His arms are burly - he can tear down the fences with only his hands. Why is he tearing them down?
"There are no cows here." He'll reply. He has homemade blueberry wine to share.
He is an elf.
7. The Eyes of Madness
Eyes in a flooded hole in the ground. Muddy white teeth grinning with the madness of war. Lowest Wisdom party member must Save vs. Magic or be Cursed. When this happens there is a very loud sound, like a misfiring gun. Every 12 hours consult the table for symptoms (1d8):
- Attempt Military Suicide. If you have swords, stick them in the ground or ask someone you trust to hold them out. If you have knives, cuts your wrists. Poison, drink it. Gun, shoot yourself, or ask someone to do it for you. Your companions have 2 Rounds to stop you.
- Scared of loud noises. As Fear spell whenever there's a surprising loud noise.
- 1000 Yard Stare. Next 1d4 times someone tries to talk to your character they cannot respond, only gaze into the distance.
- Blindness.
- Hallucinations. Of the last person you talked to.
- Stomach Cramps. Painful, -2 to all rolls.
- Fidgeting. Disadvantage on ranged attacks.
- Cannot sleep.
Talking to the affected about anything has a 1 in 2 chance of alleviating the curse for 12 hours, after which symptoms will reappear.
8. Steel Juggernaut
A juggernaut-beast of fire and metal sleeps in the thickest brush, silent as the dead. With a horrible cataclysmic screeching it comes to live, trampling the most dangerous of fences with a rolling thunder. It is utterly misanthropic, attacking indiscriminately with steel and fire. There is soft flesh to rend, though one must pierce the thick metal shell. It laughs a distant laugh, like a mad man trapped below the ground.
Mark I "male" tank. One operational QF 6-Pounder Hotchkiss gun on the right side. One operational machine gun in the front. It can do nothing to those on the left and behind, except turn or try to crush them under the treads.
There is a crew, but they are dead and mad. Treat as Wights with 1HD, immune to Turning while they're inside the tank. They cackle and taunt obscenities, reveling in the scream before the body is crushed or set aflame.
5 Treasures inside the Juggernaut. They smell like old soiled laundry and motor oil.
AC Plate and +2 Shield HP 90 HD 15 Speed Normal*
Special Attacks
- Tank Controls - Steel Juggernaut may either turn or move in a turn, but not both.
- Choking Fumes - Those downwind (roll 1d8 if unsure of direction) of the Juggernaut must Save vs. Poison or be Blind and have half movement for 1 Round.
- Machine Gun - Special Attack. Cannot perform if moving. Attack as +1 Longbow, ignores armor. Save vs. Death or die. 2d10 damage on save. May only use this attack against targets directly in front.
- 6-Pounder - Special Attack. Cannot perform if moving. 100ft line. Save vs. Breath or die. 4d6 damage on save. May only attack targets on the right.
- Juggernaut Overrun - Special Attack. Moving over a helpless character will crush them under the treads, killing them instantly. Otherwise, moving over them prompts Save vs. Paralyzation or take 4d8 crushing damage.
Treasures (1d20)
1. Steel Helmet
Negates the next 3 attacks to the head (excluding guns).
2. Pistol
As a +1 shortbow, but ignores armor. Comes with 2d4 bullets.
3. Rifle
As a +1 longbow, but ignores armor. Comes with 2d4 bullets.
4. Machine Gun
One salvo. Attack as +1 Longbow, ignores armor. If it hits then Save vs. Death or die. 2d10 damage on Save.
5. Binoculars
As telescope.
6. Periscope
As telescope, but can be used while still in full cover.
7. Electric Lantern
As cone lantern, but immune to being affected by wind/rain/etc. Lasts for 3 hours.
8. Tires
1d4 of them. Heavy. Plenty of fun things you can do with rubber!
9. Artillery Shell
Requires 3 successive INT checks to understand how this works. Once this is done you can prime it for detonation. Deals 4d10 damage in 30ft radius, 2d10 damage out to 60ft. Save vs. Staffs/Wands for half.
10. Gas Artillery Shell
Requires 3 successive INT checks to understand how this works. Once this is done you can prime it for detonation. Emits caustic cloud of gas in 40ft radius that travels with wind. Save vs. Poison or die. On success take 2d8 damage and become blinded.
11. Mortar Shell
1d6 Mortar Shells. 1 in 2 chance of dud. Deals 4d8 damage in 20ft radius, 2d8 damage out to 40ft. Save vs. Staffs/Wands for half.
12. Mortar Tube
Nothing more than a very sturdy tube alone (can seal it and carry something valuable!), but with three successful INT checks it can launch a Mortar Shell up to 2400ft.
13. Fragmentation Grenade
1d4 Grenades. 1 in 3 chance of dud. Deals 4d6 damage in 10ft radius, deals 2d6 damage out to 30ft. Save vs. Staffs/Wands for half.
14. Flamethrower
One use. Shoots gout of flame in 40ft line, Save vs. Breath or 4d6 damage, and half as much next two rounds. Alternatively use Dragon Breath stats.
15. Gas Mask
Protects from all respiratory-related effects.
16. Metal Detector
Has 20 minutes of battery left.
17. Entrenching Tool
Basically just a small shovel. Neatly portable, though! Does not take inventory slot.
18. Waterproof Tarp
Gives advantage on any checks related to getting wet, slimed, or hit with acid.
19. Dog Tags
2d10 of them. Worth 5gp each to Clerics or those interested in the supernatural.
20. Scope
A precision military scope. May be outfitted on a crossbow to double its range increments.
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