The Krill Shop

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Source

Krill comes in big pink blocks of ground paste or dubious slurries to be sold to the whales. It is the cheapest of cheap food that isn’t purely conjured, and unlike natural krill it has virtually no nutritional value. There is a 2% chance that this batch is only partially transmuted, and a 1% chance that it will revert back to its original form once eaten.

The Krill Shop will buy literally anything if it’s in a high enough volume and can be poured from a bucket. The only catch it that is must be relatively uniform. (Whole bodies wouldn’t work, but buckets of blood would. Then again, you could sell blood for more at Intravenous Solutions…)

Stuff can be sold to the shop for 1 Spellgold per 10 buckets.
5 buckets of transmuted krill can be bought for 1 Spellgold.

d20	Today’s Krill is Transmuted From...	And It Tastes Like...
1	Food Scraps	Ultra-cheap vegetarian sausage.
2	Nuts and Bolts	Sucking on a rusty razor.
3	Teeth	Spit rocks.
4	Sand	Sand, too.
5	Wand Wood Scrapings	Pop rocks made of sawdust.
6	Ground Concrete	Broken teeth and walnut shells.
7	Hobo Clothes	You’re about to get a serious addiction just by being around it.
8	Poop, Miscellaneous	Chocolate!... Just kidding, it tastes like a shit sandwich.
9	Toxic Salts	What aspartame is to sugar, this is to fish taste.
10	Beached Whale Fat	Sadness, and Lard.
11	Fermentation Byproduct	Surprisingly okay. Like only moderately moldy bread.
12	Chunky Sewer Drainage	What you’re pretty sure cancer tastes like.
13	Grass	Licking lawnmower blades.
14	Ground Fish Bones	Grasshoppers, but nothing but crunch and half the flavor.
15	Bugs	Tasty tasty protein.
16	Hair	A Baboon’s Behind
17	Ash	Guzzling liquid smoke.
18	Roof Tiling	Excessively cordial relations with a man made of tar.
19	Dissertation Drafts	Someone’s never going to graduate.
20	Defunct Krill	Cobbling together scraps of fly-infested Big Mac.

This krill ain’t meant for humans. Anytime you want to eat one of these, provided you aren’t a Whale or a Whale Priest or a Whale Wizard or whatever, then you must make a Constitution check or vomit it all up. The only humans desperate enough to eat transmuted krill are students.

Whales can survive on these long term, but it’s kinda like eating bread cut with sawdust. A bad transmutation can be potentially fatal, too. If you want to court the Whales, you're better off importing the real thing.

Who's Manning the Krill Shop? (1d4)

1. Sergei - You could only wish this guy had the overwhelming scent of fish guts.
2. Andy - Not authorized to do business. Not authorized to leave his post at the counter.
3. Svetlana - Generous. Offers the failed transmutations, like a baker's dozen.
4. Bilbo - The manager. Secret transmuting forger. Occasionally man's the counter to distract from his real work.