20 Magical Guards

Locks

Traps

Alarms

Guards

What these d20 Table posts are starting to look like is a system for quickly generating random interchangeable hazards for protected locations.

Maybe this will include some kind of dice-location-falling mechanic?

Will require testing.

Anyways, here's 20 Guards.

Robots have slowly phased out since the "Charm Robot" spell was put on the market.

Guards

Guards are either designed, enticed, captured, or paid to deal with troublemakers.

They typically work in conjunction with the Alarm.

1. Chandelier Mimic - An oldie but a goodie. Ceiling-dwelling mimic that uses its twisted-iron arms to drag intruders up into its kraken-esque crystaltooth maw. Also drops flaming candles.
2. Depression Slime - Doesn’t really do anything itself, other than creeping along at the edge of peoples’ vision. Those who smell its vapors are allotted 2d20 actions before their next Long Rest. Every single action declared (including each turn’s movement) is subtracted from this total. Subject curls into a fetal position when actions are all used up. Being carried does not constitute an action. Having an idea does.
3. Animated Pants - Will grapple and put themselves on thieves in a flurry. Once on has full control over intruder’s legs. Made of kevlar. Will use them to run in inconvenient directions or kick people mercilessly in the balls.
4. Hungry Manticore - The man-faced variety. Clearly was once a wizard. Can only eat those who agree to it. Thankfully, Charm spells can handle that problem.
5. Co-RON - When developmentally-arrested child brains are put in jars, then put into limb-crushing mobility suits, then instructed that every person they see in their space is their personal possession. On the bright side, you might get to have a tea party with a prepubescent death machine!
6. Another Wizard - Sometimes a fellow wizard gets desperate enough to take up a guard job. Oh, the humiliation! At least it comes with a lot of reading time and all the intruders you can fry in flaming Grease.
7. Anti-Sphinx - Lion head, human body. Blurts out answer to the riddle, but not the riddle itself. (i.e. “Time!”, “Shadows!”, “Man!”, “A Newspaper!”) Attacks with great ferocity if no riddle is given for its answers.
8. Beeeeeeeeeeeeees! - A lot of bees. Like, a heck of a lot of bees. Like, an incomprehensible number of bees... Release the bees!
9. Mirror Golem - Two-faceted silver nitrate coated machine. Deflects direct-target spells. Front facet shows a false future - anyone who looks in it gains disadvantage on their next roll. Rear facet shows a true future with opposite effect.
10. Bound Knife Demon - About ten arms, a face more scar than face, and a hundred cursed knives. Definitely wants to weasel out of contract with wizard, but sucks at lawyering and can’t not constantly exsanguinate everything in sight. A copy of the contract must be kept within the bounded area.
11. Sonic Stalker - Ethereal, invisible wraithlike creature hovers above intruders, holding two spindly delicate hands just outside their ears. Produces escalating white noise until it deafens and/or causes brain hemorrhaging. Doesn’t float very fast.
12. Ribbon Elemental - A cascading tide-dancing onion of elemental ribbons. Liable to choke, arrest, or dislocate every limb. Vulnerable to turbulent air currents.
13. Running Zombie Hoard - They smell like a stack of shit waffles, but have this endearing brute force quality to them. Unlike most zombies they can run at full normal speed. Rival wizards are notoriously inconsistent with their jogging regimens. Hoard sizes are measured in how many Fireballs it takes to wipe them out. 3-4 are the norm for guarding work.
14. Monster Maker - A clockwork Easy Bake Oven as big as a elephant with spindly bow-legged limbs. Produces terrible whirring/pistoning sounds and jettisons steam all over the place. Find at least two random tables for encounters/monsters. Roll on both of them. Something haphazardly combining the two comes out of the Monster Maker after a cacophonous “Ding!”. 1 on a d4 produces Cronenberg monstrocity. Everything else is a half-half. Monsters last for 1 minute before decomposing into goo. May produce monster every 2d4 Rounds. Surprisingly fast for a walking oven.
15. Child Ninjas - You wouldn’t hurt a child, would you? Half the time they’re actually centuries old super soldiers or something. Ferocious, merciless, but ultimately still children. Kept in line by brainwashing and command phrases. Hallucinogenic poison is a favorite tool.
16. Party Mirror - Alignment-reflected vengeful clones of every party member. Same capabilities, same stats, same equipment.
17. Sleepy Siren - Ocean siren kept in stasis on artificial island in complex. Alarm wakes her. Shortly after, siren call goes out throughout entire building. All who fail save are drawn to her. She’s quite hungry after such a long rest, but her vision is blurry her body is a bit stiff.
18. Adorable Pet - Ridiculously cute dog. Just the sweetest thing! Literally the most adorable creature one could possibly encounter. Looking into its eyes Captivates the victim for 1d4 Turns, putting them into a suggestible state, which the dog then utilizes to make the intruders give him food then take him for a walk.
19. Patent Violation Automaton - Clunky robot has one job and one job only: to violate patent law when the alarm sounds. Repeatedly casts a copyrighted spell until the teleporting Patent Police arrive in several rounds to ask questions and break bones - not necessarily in that order.
20. Reverse Gravity Geist - Invisible long-dead guardian of the Gravity Lords, triggered by some preempted blasphemy. Can reverse gravity for one object/person per round. Loves dropping heavy things on wizards, or sending them careening out windows.